What age is an appropriate age to give your child a phone? It's a tricky one, it really does depend on your circumstances. I personally think high school (7th grade) is possibly the age that all children should have a phone, but there are many cases that need them earlier. The problem is assessing the child's understanding of responsibility with a phone.
For instance, I gave my older son a phone when I first started leaving them home by themselves for an hour or so, to get the groceries, do a work appointment and it was about the same time he was walking home from school by himself. However, as it was a push button, 'press a button three times to get a 'c' to text message phone, he didn't see the value in it or the excitement of playing games, looking at the internet, etc as my smart phone. Therefore, he'd forget to take it to school, forget to charge it and once he even left it in his tracksuit pant pocket and it made it's way into the washing machine.
But now, he's contacting his friends on Skype and trying to arrange play dates or trips to the movies, and it gets a little frustrating that he can't contact them instantly, because their friends aren't necessarily on Skype as they are. He's getting more independent, wanting to walk to the milk bar by himself, go for a bike ride by himself and I'm tending to leave them home longer, and Skype really isn't cutting it for communicating with them. So I bit the bullet, and bought both my boys phones so that they can feel safe.
However, there is already a distinction in how my boys use their phones... I have one who wants to call everyone! His friends, his dad and me, just to tell them that he has a phone. He sees that there is internet on it, but I've told him he can only use it in WiFi mode, otherwise his internet costs will go through the roof. I've told him that it would be cheaper him texting, and then the other person call him, because his plan will run out in such a short space of time... and then I'll be stuck with the $300 phone bill. So I've had to really pull him back and explain what he can do and what he can't.
My older son, is definitely more responsible as he has done nothing except look to see what it can do and charge it. I'm sure on Monday, they will both go to school and input their friend's phone numbers, and then that will be a different story when they want to chat. I'm already getting a little worried... but I guess I can always up their plans if things are getting out of hand.
It's funny though, as when I spoke to my boys about which friends had phones, most of them had parents who had split. Generally their father paid for their phones to communicate with them, but sometimes, even when they have sleep overs at friends' houses, they generally feel safe knowing they can call Mum to pick them up at 11pm if they want. If the parents hadn't split, they spent significant time with their grandparents or in after school care as their parents both worked full time.
It is a sign of the times. We want to know our children are safe, that they can contact you whenever they need you. But for that peace of mind, you really want peace of mind with your phone plan as well. It's a double edged sword. Both my boys know that if they go over, it comes out of their allowance. I'm sure they will be fine, it's just the unknown, and the initial excitement in having a phone.
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