Where is the romance? Where is the responsibility? Where is the manliness of 'men' these days? It seems like they all want to go from A to F (assuming 'F' is sex and 'Z' is married 80 year olds who are destined to death do us part, as who can be bothered divorcing at 80?). In the almost 4 years I've been separated from my husband, I don't think I have been ever asked to go on a 'date' before the words of sex spews out of the man's mouth.
No one has sent me flowers as an admirer, no one has taken me out to dinner or a coffee that hasn't been a work meeting or a male friend just catching up and the only dates I've actually ever been on (where I paid for half of them) was with my lover (but of course, after sex was initiated), whose attempted acts of chivalry, where he opened the car or restaurant door for me, pulled out his own money clip to pay for anything or even paid for a hotel were a little bit left field of his 'declared' chivalrous traditions... yes they were there at the start, but diminished over time - I'm not sure if it was because Australian men don't act chivalrous and I hadn't been used to being doted over without agenda, which I explained to him (and it was difficult to accept his courtesies, even though I did love them), or if it was all an act to start with and he got lenient over time (though, he was adamant that his daughters shouldn't date a man who wasn't prepared to treat her like a princess and open doors, let them take the only seat or pay for them... so why should he treat a woman any differently?)
In the last few days, I've had men from my past keen to 'hitch' up again, yet they aren't prepared to sweep me off my feet. The issue I have is that they want me to essentially be their Mum... they love what I do with my boys, they think I'm the coolest Mum ever, they love how my boys love and appreciate me, and they want a piece of it. But what are they offering ME? Another child (in themselves, not to have one conceived)? I don't need another child, I need a man who is prepared to look after me, not me look after him... I looked after my ex-husband pretty much from Day One and I've definitely looked after my own boys since they were born, so I don't need to be looking after another man who's not prepared to look after me... And what they don't realise, is that as a single mother, NO ONE is looking after me!!!
I think this is a common problem most women find these days, no matter how old you are... I was speaking to a single lady in her late seventies last night, and she said that men only get worse with age. How is that actually possible? Do they revert back into the womb once they hit eighteen and completely forget that they are actually supposed to be the 'man' in the relationship - a strong, emotionally & financially supportive partner who treats his woman like the queen she should be? Or are the gender roles getting so confusing that no one knows who is supposed to be 'who' anymore? Are we all being selfish in what we want and no one is actually considering what the other half needs?
I had another conversation with a man recently, who was in an unstable marriage for the better half of sixteen years, and he has come to the point in his life that he believes whatever he does then 'he deserves it, and he's worth it.' So despite his children being in their later stage of their teens, he is pretty much doing everything for himself, and not considering the living circumstances of his children because he knows that they will fly the coup in the next two to ten years... so he's decided just to build a two bedroom + study house for himself. With kids staying at home longer now, you'd think that he would understand that he still has a good ten-fifteen years of them actually staying at home, and should accommodate that... but no. Same as my ex... wants to see our boys more, yet has lived in a one bedroom flat for the last 3.5 years... the boys literally have no where to go at his flat, so they stay the night with me 100% of the time.
I am tired of the selfishness of men. Men who have absolutely no consideration for women's needs, men who get offended even if you try to say Hi or show you care; men who turn a purely innocent conversation into a sexual opportunity; men who yearn for you, yet offer nothing in return... nothing of substance. And then there are men who promise one thing and go against it.
Really, why do we bother?
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