Over the months, I've harped on about affairs, past loves and family love, and have sometimes touched on workplace love, friendship love and homosexual love... I've talked about the incredible difficulty in finding love, especially mutual love - a love that defies all sense of 'you' and 'me' and unites you in a way that complements who you both are and makes you BOTH shine - not just one partner or the other.
So when people say they can't love someone because it's taboo - if it's a good friend's ex boyfriend, a married person, your best friend, etc and if you are afraid of taking the relationship to a new level, isn't that defying your heart of true happiness, and possibly their true happiness? If you feel alive with that person, feel complete, feel like you're not trying, feel comfortable, feel happy and catch yourself always smiling and laughing with this person, don't you owe yourself a chance of finding out if the feeling is mutual? I know it's a big risk, but isn't the point of love finding something that transcends normality by finding a love so special you can't live without it?
But for some people, they are scared of breaking the barrier of normality... they have to live within the traditions of how they were raised, how society see them, how they expect their lives to be... They get a glimmer of that transcending feeling - that chance to feel complete, whole, loved, embraced and accepted for the REAL person that they are, not the person they portray to the world, and they actually learn to love themselves in the process. They love that inner sanctum they have created within themselves by this 'forbidden love.' But they convince themselves that it's not practical, it's not what their mother wanted for them, it's not responsible, it's not viable to actually love themselves in the way that all people deserve because they had already chosen a life path and they must stick to it.
But who benefits from that 'chosen life path' that you don't really want to live? Do your children see that marriage only means hurting, fighting and existing together? Or are you teaching them the concepts of commitment, that marriage has highs and lows, and united responsibility? Do your friends and family actually appreciate you if you are constantly miserable, angry at the world or wallowing in your own silence? Or do they somehow drift away not wanting to spend time with you because YOU ARE NOT HAPPY and enjoyable to be around? Will your same-gendered best friend stick around when you suddenly realise your gay thoughts but become reserved in your conversational intimacy and become 'weird' as you don't explain your real feelings and thoughts?
That's the thing - NO ONE WANTS TO KNOW YOU IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY in who YOU are and don't act on the aspects in your life that 'transcend' you. So what are the risks in taking action - real action, with your forbidden love? That you will actually BE HAPPY, that you will actually BE ENJOYABLE to be around, that you will actually TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for living the life you deserve, not the one you dreamt of as a young child? So for the slim chance of losing your job if your forbidden love is a work colleague, for the slim chance of splitting your finances with disdain if you are unhappily married, for the chance that your gay feelings for your best friend aren't mutual, isn't it a greater risk to stay unhappy, unfulfilled and unloved than to be honest with yourself and take that chance?
Life is too short to not be happy and be true to yourself. Find the courage, take the steps and find yourself in love.
No comments:
Post a Comment