Should Our Vulnerabilities Make You Less of a Person?

Most people are afraid of exposing their weaknesses, when in fact they are physically exposing them everyday through their appearances - the look of stress in their face, their weight, the bags under their eyes from not sleeping, biting their nails, smoking cigarettes, a permanent frown on their face when in their not putting on their 'people' face... you know, the face you automatically put on when you're in company to act professionally at work, to be social with the mums at school, to have your photo taken... No matter how we are in our 'let's show the world who we are today' face, we will let our vulnerabilities be known through our 'no one is watching' face.

So, when someone does catch us losing our guard - biting our nails in public, smoking a cheeky cigarette after dropping the kids off at school, eating that Snickers bar between meals, constantly looking in the mirror because we don't think we are good looking enough, crying in the car when you think no one else can see you.. should it make us less of a person?

Certainly not... it only makes us more human. What is more telling is how the person who caught us in the act reacts... will they do something to show you that they care about us, will they offer idle gossip to people who know us that we let our defences down, or will they ignore us completely because we didn't have our 'social/professional' face up and they don't know how to handle our emotions with us?

Showing our vulnerabilities only makes us more human. It is us reaching out for help, hoping someone will ask us what's wrong, offer to help us or give us emotional support, but so many people just don't want to know...

And that's heartbreaking to me... I go inside the lives of many people, into the privacy of their own homes, and they expose to me - a stranger - some of their hardships and their worries, and all they want is someone to listen, possibly give them some advice, or someone to be compassionate and sympathetic to their plight. Most the time, I walk out of their homes and you can see a small weight has lifted off their shoulders because I've taken the time to help them through their concerns and a smile has emerged. Is it easier to talk to a stranger about your concerns, or is it becoming harder and harder to talk to friends and family about our concerns because they 'know you too well' and think that you're stupid, naive, overly emotional, making things up in your head or simply don't have enough time in their day for your antics?

And this is where the problem lies... if the people closest to us actually took the time to listen, support, appreciate and value all our vulnerabilities, highs and lows, worries and concerns, those characteristics that make up the person who we are, then maybe, those vulnerabilities, worries and concerns would actually lessen and we would be more open to smiling more, laughing more, enjoying ourselves and the people whoa are closest to us more, and stop hiding behind bitten fingernails, cigarettes and Snickers bars.

I must admit, and I'm sure many people who have travelled have experienced the same thing... but once you are out of your comfort zone, away from all the people who have negative things to say about you - your family, your work colleagues, your friends, etc, you actually step away from those vulnerabilities and discover the person you actually are. You fall in love with your confidence, your courage, your ability to actually be out on your own. You actually don't 'give a shit' about anyone else except yourself and your fellow travellers who have also lost that big weight off their shoulders that they are carrying for everyone else. You swap Snickers bars for local produce, you swap biting your nails for being in awe of the landscape, and you smoke cigarettes because it's trendy in Paris or Amsterdam, not because you're stressed about getting through your day.

So next time you see someone who's looking a little frazzled and struggling to keep their 'public face' together, take the time to actually ask them how they are... really ask them, and don't accept the answer 'I'm OK' because you clearly can see that they aren't. Don't feel burdened if they let it all out in a whirlwind of hurts and emotional baggage, just be the sympathetic ear they need and show some genuine compassion, some human spirit and help them rediscover their smile.

An Erotic Tale... a Foreplay of My Novel Aspirations

As you all know, I'm working really hard in finishing my book to get it out to you all as soon as I can... So I thought I would bring you a 'taste' of some of the naughtiness in my writing, an interlude of lust, or maybe a celebration of heightened sexuality... please note, I am deliriously tired at the moment after working a third straight day of 16+ hours.. so I thought I would give you something unexpected. So here goes!

Carrie sat idly by her computer waiting for her lover's call... She was dressed in her soft purple satin lingerie with black lace softly outlining the edges of her voluptuous breasts and the curves of her legs. Her long soft blonde locks shaped her subtly made-up face, so she had that seductive natural look her lover always loved about her. She'd been waiting for thirty minutes, waiting for her lover to log into his Skype account so they could intimately enjoy each other when they couldn't be together physically. Carrie loved their lustful seductions, as they helped her connect with herself through the power of imagination and intimacy, sound and instruction, sight and pleasure. Randy Elwood, a senator from Georgia, was her secret lover, and was regularly late for their lover's tryst as he was always called out to some political emergency, so Carrie tried to understand that she just had to be patient.

Carrie had an episode of 'Game of Thrones' on the television in the background, trying to pass the time. Her eyes sleepy, as it had been a long day, but her lover had promised her that he would Skype her. It had been three days since she'd last seen him, and she wanted to see him desperately. At 12.02am he logged in. Carrie excited that she wasn't forgotten, tousled her hair, had one last glance in the mirror to see if she 'presented well' and accepted his Skype call.

"Hey, how was your night?" she asked him.
"Hectic... I don't want to go into it. I want to be here with you Baby." Randy said.

Carrie smiled. She loved when he spoke affectionately to her. She loved looking at him... looking at his baby bear brown eyes, his heartwarming smile and his unblemished skin. Her whole aura glowed when he made the time to see her.

"Do you want to see what I'm wearing?" she asked with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Yes ma'am! That's right, you said you'd have something special for me." Randy said, remembering a past conversation.

Carrie sat up on her bed out of her lying position, and softly grazed her bra with the back of her finger to show Randy how sexy she could be. She saw Randy's jaw drop, like he'd forgotten how beautiful she was. Carrie used her other hand to brush her skin slowly down her body, making her way to the edge of her panties. She stopped before going any further, just to tease him a little before their ultimate seduction. 

"Ooh Baby, circle your nipples on the outside of your bra so I can see them sticking out of the material." Randy asked.

Carrie did what he asked. She loved his commanding nature, his sense of authority. It made her feel wanted and desired, yet incredibly sexy at the same time. 

"Can you see them?" Carrie asked.

"Yes Baby... you look so fine. Now pinch them for me, I want to see your body react to you pinching them."

Carrie squeezed her nipples, sending bolts of pleasure down between her legs. She started to gyrate her pelvis to augment the pleasure. She closed her eyes and bent her neck backwards moving to the uncontrollable rhythms of her body.

"That's it Baby." Randy said, "take it further."

Carrie opened her eyes and could see Randy playing with his manhood. He had moved the screen so she could see his bare slightly hairy chest, revealing only his nipples, his handsome face and his arm movements in the left hand side of the frame. Carrie thought it was only fair to show him her womanly breasts, so she slowly let the straps down over her shoulders, unclip her bra from behind and held her breasts in the creases of her elbows, before dramatically revealing the buoyancy of her bosom to the screen.

"God you're beautiful Carrie. Wish I could nibble on those breasts right now and make you cum," Randy said, completely in awe of Carrie's porcelain skin and perky nipples.

"Oh Baby, please don't tease me... you know it's still two months away before we can be together again. I wish it were sooner. Please just enjoy this time for what it is."

"I know Baby... it will come quicker than you think. But I want you to cum for me right now! Do you think you can do that for me?" Randy said with the cheekiest smile on his face.

"I'll try..." Carrie said with a smile, knowing that Randy was trying to make her feel good about herself, but also knowing how easy it was for her to cum just by listening to his sultry southern accent.

Carrie continued to squeeze one of her nipples with one hand, while sucking on the other nipple with her mouth. She watched with intent the reaction she gave Randy. She could see a wave of pleasure hit him, like he instantly lost the stress of the day's work and found himself in the moment of being with her. She loved how she could do that to him - make him relax with just one amazing move...

I could get a lot juicier, but as I said, it was a 'foreplay.' Let me know if you like what you read and would love to read more.

Love,
Suzy xx

How Much is Too Much?

Our children want to try everything - it may be soccer, football, baseball, tennis, swimming, a musical instrument, karate, gymnastics, basketball, netball, softball, hockey, cycling, skiing, snowboarding, little athletics or dance classes... sometimes they excel at it and become ultra competitive, other times, they love the social time with their friends or the knowledge that they are starting to become 'good' at something. Some children are doing 2-3 activities a night after school by the time they fit in practices and games, swimming lessons and cultural school. But when does it become too much?

The first sign is when your child doesn't have time to do their homework, or ends up staying up until 10pm each night trying to get their homework done because their afternoons are chewed up by their extra curricular activities. 10pm is ok if they are in high school, but 8 and 9 year olds trying to stay awake getting their compulsory homework done is a little bit unfair on the child.

The second sign is when your child just wants to have a friend over to play, and you haven't a free day in the week to make that happen. Children need to have that out of school time to bond with friends without the peer pressure of other school mates being around. They need to develop one-on-one social skills that are outside the boundaries of the school gates. It gives them a chance to understand themselves better when being confronted by a situation that they agree with or don't agree with to build better friendships and relationships.

And conversely, if a child has too much one-on-one time with individuals, they can lose their ability to understand the significance of what they can bring to the table in a group or team situation. You need the balance to develop both sides of their personalities. I know from personal experience that I was restricted to solo activities as a child - individual swimming and music lessons were the base of my activities, and if a group of friends wanted to go out together, I wasn't allowed to go, as my mother was afraid of 'gang' mentalities. I was allowed to go out with one friend at a time only... so essentially, I feel more comfortable in one on one situations and am almost terrified of being in a group situation, scared that no one will talk to me. I did do 'group' musical activities - orchestra, string quartet and choir, but again, I was scared of playing out of tune, singing off key, or not being as good as everyone else, so I never really perform at my best in a group situation, but give me a chance to perform as a solo artist, and I blitzed it (well, I did once!). In a group situation, I blended into the background, sometimes even pretending to sing or play when I forgot the lyric or lost where I was on the page. Hence the reason why I probably work alone, and the reason why I insist that my boys play team sports to get that understanding of not being an 'island' in their relationships on and off the field, and for when they get older and have to put it into their business relationships.

But what happens when your child's life changes and their extra curricular activities that they have played for 4, 5 or even 8 years, get in the way of new activities that are age appropriate as they turn into teenagers? How do you choose? We all physically can't do everything, but some parents insist that their child 'loves' their three different sports they play, that their child is dedicated to their two practice sessions and weekly matches each week for each sport, and that they are staying out of trouble by being so 'involved.' Are they really loving it, or are they telling you they are because you are the one who has the dream that one day they may get a sporting scholarship at a good university, become a professional athlete and have a job that may only last them 10 years with its high risk of injury and endless competitiveness, but unbelievable pay-packet while it lasts?

We can't live our children's lives for them, and they certainly can't live the lives we wanted for ourselves, but we can give them the life skills that they need to take with them beyond their lives in our home. I asked my children last night if any of their friends are paid (bribed) for good grades... one of their friends gets $10 for a C, $30 for a B and $60 for an A in each report card, but if there is one F on the report card, they get nothing. With 10-15 subjects, their parents could be handing out a bit of money. But how can that be fair when you have children of different learning abilities, and one child just will never be able to achieve an A and the other one gets a report card full of them? It doesn't mean that the one who doesn't get the As isn't trying their hardest, it's just they aren't 'built that way.' What does it do to that child's self esteem? Then there are the children who constantly ask their parents for money without helping around the house because their parents insist that their 'job' at that point of their life is to be a student.

But there's more to life than just being a student... our children need to learn the skills of saving, budgeting, working for money, learning to do domestic chores, learning about 'team based' responsibility in the form of helping around the house, and getting rewarded for doing so. They need to learn how to help others by volunteering or fundraising, and they need to know that 'life' is not handed out on a platter. There is no reward without effort. (Possibly a reason why our world is in a debt crisis at the moment, as there has been too much expectation from people that they can rely on a hand-out from the government, their credit card company or their parents to survive).

My oldest son starts high school next year. He is my saviour when it comes to helping around the house and he does what he can to make sure that I won't go cranky. We have discussed what 'starting high school' involves in terms of his level of responsibility to himself and his family. We have discussed what he wants to achieve throughout his high school years, and he's excited about what school offers him, in terms of the World Challenge Program in Year 10/11, camps, science programs, music opportunities, etc. He knows that he will be expected to work a part-time job when he's legally able to and he has to integrate it into his life somehow - if it is hockey umpiring, working at a supermarket, working at a movie theatre, mowing lawns or doing the McDonalds thing. Up until then, we have agreed that I will pay him $25 a week for his chores around the house, and he will need to budget with it... as that will have to pay for any food he wants from the canteen at school (he can always take a free lunch from home), entertainment activities with friends (going to the movies, seeing a sports game, going to the arcade), birthday and Christmas presents for his brother, his friends and I (and his father if he wants to) and anything he wants along the way in terms of toys, sports goods that are outside his extra-curricular sport, food on the way home from school, etc. He can always make more money by taking initiative to do extra things, like washing the car, cleaning the barbecue, etc but he also knows that sometimes you don't get paid for everything you do, because sometimes it's for the 'sake of just being part of a family' - a family that's a team and helps each other.

But I hear of stories that just horrify me about how parents just offer their children everything on a platter. The World Challenge Program is quite a contentious issues for some parents. Essentially, the program is designed to teach children how to think outside themselves... the CHILDREN need to raise $7000 to pay for a one month trip to an African community (maybe 2 communities) and work in that community once they are there. Generally, they have 18 months to make their $7000 (around $100 a week). There are companies that actually give jobs to children who are working towards the program. It also teaches children initiative in how they raise their funds - it could be a chocolate drive, a sausage sizzle, washing cars, mowing lawns, running errands, umpiring games, coaching, dog walking, a proper job with a 'boss' or even asking for donations from friends and family through Go Fund Me style websites to get $10 here, $20 there... But some parents insist that their children's lives are too busy and they will 'fund' the majority of their trip. What is that teaching their children? Is it teaching them responsibility? Is it teaching them what commitment is about? Is it teaching them the ability to actually feel satisfied and proud of themselves because getting the money was easy? Because when they actually get to Africa and see the simplicity of the African lives, the basic needs that they don't have and we just take for granted, how will they survive a day let alone a month?

Children need a balance in life and too much of one thing can be more damaging to the greater good of their personalities. They need to work with their hands as well as on computers, they need to spend as much time outdoors as they do indoors, and they need to learn that while we give them 'some' things, it's important that other things are earned. It's all balance... I'm not saying that I'm the perfect mother, far from it, but I understand the importance of ensuring that my boys need balance in their lives between what they 'love' to do and what they 'have' to do, so they can appreciate what they get when they get it, and earn money, respect, pride, autonomy and team skills from what they learn in life skills.

What are we teaching our children?

There is an expectation that how we live our lives is an example to our children of what is ok and what isn't... There have been ads on television trying to stop parents asking their children to get them another beer out of the fridge rather than doing it themselves, as the repetitive act of a child doing what we see as a harmless adult activity for an adult can cause that child to believe that 'binge drinking' is an acceptable practice, which may lead to early consumptions of alcohol or 'addictive' behaviour in the child, because they see it as being 'ok.'

So if that's the case, what about in our relationships? If someone hits us in the face and we continue to have a loving relationship with that person, are we telling our children that it's acceptable that it's OK to be violent in a relationship? Or do we make excuses that we deserved it, or it was something that happened in a drunken stupor and they really didn't mean to hurt you so badly? Or do we cover it up, and say that you knocked your face in a door in the middle of the night so no one knows the truth? (it's actually quite frightening how many people actually do 'cover it up.')

But what happens if a husband cheats on his wife? Is the first relationship OK, a mistake, something they need to go to counselling over to work out the conflicts in their marriage? Is it showing your children that forgiveness is the greatest form of commitment, no matter how hurt and broken hearted you are, or that your sense of trust in the relationship has completely disappeared? I was speaking to a lady yesterday who did exactly that... She found out about her husband's four year affair because he kept saying that they couldn't afford to do some improvements around the house, but he was actually paying for his mistress's lifestyle on the side. She forgave him, as a Catholic woman does, and they went to counselling and tried to restore their marriage. She had all confidences that they would 'make things better.'

But then she heard the voices... 'go check his email,' 'go check the phone records...' So she did, and saw repetitive text messaging to the one phone number, up to 30 times a day and only on weekdays. She decided to ring the number, and the number was a mother of one of her daughter's friends. She decided not to approach the woman, but ask a mutual friend if she knew anything. Her friend said she knew nothing but decided to approach the woman in any case. She asked her to go out for a coffee, and she happily obliged, and once she sat down she said 'how long have you been having an affair with such-in-such?' The woman said, 'how do you know?' 

For the wife, she said once is enough, but the second time, if she stayed, she would be teaching her daughter that it's OK for a man to walk all over you and not respect your relationship, and for her son, it would show him that an affair is an acceptable part of any marriage. She didn't want to show her children that infidelity was allowed... she didn't want to be treated like her feelings and her life was a lie.

So why do so many wives stay with their serial cheating husbands? What are they saying to their children? That their religious/moral values and or their ability to remain 'committed' are more important than their self-esteem, their existence in their own family or their husband's respect? Or is change too terrifying for too many? Do they believe that what goes on behind closed doors remains behind closed doors just to live the comfortable lifestyle they are accustomed? But once their children find out about the infidelities, and they do, if it's immediately or over time, their children will constantly question the blurred line between what is right and what is acceptable in all of THEIR OWN relationships.

Do you want to see your own child being hurt by infidelity, an abusive spouse or being completely disrespected by the person they love? Or would you prefer for them to stand up for their rights as a human being and be happy, learn to trust and live an honest life? Most would answer 'no way.' So why do women allow these men to walk all over them and not respect the commitment they made to each other? But even for men who have done the cheating (or women for that fact), can you imagine if his precious daughter's husband cheated on her, how could he live with himself to tell his daughter that her husband's behaviour is acceptable and she should just 'live with it' because he was too gutless to leave a marriage after he broke his vows.

If we can't teach our children by example how to be an up-standing citizen, then there is no hope in the future generations to be able to speak out and act on what is right and acceptable in how we should ALL be treated. 

Country People vs City People

One thing I realised while I was in Europe was the difference in the 'city' people vs the 'country' people... There are definitely many wonderful people I met while I was in the city, like the lovely man who was in the busy rush of the London Tube helping me carry my luggage up the steep staircase, and the sweet French man who gave us extra special attention in a Parisienne bistro, but they were few and far between... the Romans were rude, the Amsterdammers were just too busy dinging their bicycle bells riding way too fast and expecting you to get out of their way and most the Parisiennes were either begging for money or seemed a little sly. I will admit, the Londoners know all about what courtesy and compassion for a stranger is... however, the country people no matter where I am in the world, just warm my heart.

And it's no different to what I find in Melbourne versus what I find in provincial Victoria. Unless you know someone in Melbourne, they don't want to know you. Even when I've been to the States, those who live in the smaller towns give you more attention than those in the rat-race cities. I guess it's true... life is slower in the country... slower to actually make an effort for people whether they are friends, family or strangers...

At lunch time on Saturday, my friend and I drove up to Mansfield and walked through the Farmer's Market, listened to the school kids singing and enjoyed some of the local delights. You could tell the difference between the Melbourne tourists and the locals, just by the way they treated you.

On Saturday night, my friend and I hopped down to the Boat Club to see what the local watering hole was all about. Admittedly, most the people were over fifty and there really wasn't many people there... but the view was spectacular and the people were so keen to who these 'two new ladies' were... especially the 'committee' members. So after a brief chat, letting them know that I'd just bought a new home down the street, they told me that I must come up on Cup Day to enjoy a feast of champagne and chicken with my boys (I'm sure they will be on the lemonade), to get dressed up and join in the local festivities. It was really nice to be made feel welcome. I signed up for a 'horse' in the sweepstakes and said I will be there... and they convinced me to get up next Wednesday morning at 5am to make the drive back to Melbourne instead of driving back Tuesday night...

On Sunday we packed up and got the house ready for our first paying guests. I'm lucky to have some local people who are happy to be my home's caretakers... they will mow the lawns for me, clean the house after guests come, and just help me with all the little bits and pieces which are still puzzling to me with the new house... especially since the only services it has is electricity and phone, and everything else (water, sewerage and bottled gas) is tied to the land. It's all a learning curve for me, but I'm willing to understand it all.

And it's amazing how slow time actually goes in the country.. how you can fill your day and realise by 1pm that you still have half the day ahead of you to enjoy. My little lake house is a joy to go up to and makes my working week easier to get through. I'm so thankful we have been welcomed so warmly. I'm so thankful my boys love it and enjoy every part of it... maybe we were supposed to be country people too! :)

Life Without Phone or Internet

Currently on the weekends, we are escaping to our little Lake House in the country. It's about a 2 hour 45 minute drive away from home through some magical countryside dappled with wineries, road side fruit and preserve stands, rejuvenating burnt forests, undulating hills and a lovely assortment of farm life, wild life and bird life... it really is a chocolate box experience - you don't know what you're going to get on every trip.

About seven minutes from our house by the lake, my phone goes into 'SOS' mode... therefore no phone or internet for about 10 kilometres. This weekend, we arrived there on Friday night 8pm and we left there this morning, Monday at 5am... 57 hours of phone and internet free bliss. If I belonged to a different network, my phone would work fine. If my house had a booster antenna, I would be able to pick up the signal from the other network (and we are looking into it, but there is quite a large expense associated with it). But, even though I was a little edgy about not having phone or internet access when we first settled the house 3 weekends ago, it's actually been wonderful without it...

The boys and I ventured around our little town and found some more discoveries... we discovered the cafe, fish n chip & pizza shop in the caravan park store, we found the picnic point with a playground, electric barbecues and a magical view, and we discovered a fire track that leads up to a lookout. We chatted with a few locals (or, as my boys would say, I chatted with a few locals) who told me to check out the local boat club this weekend for a few social 'getting to know the community' drinks, and the boys got into their board shorts for the first time and took a dip in the lake.

At the house, the boys got into throwing their weight around with an axe chopping up some firewood, we pruned some trees to make them fire-safe for the up-coming fire season and we had a campfire scraping away all the pine needles off the ground for instant kindling, assisting our 'fire safe' strategy. We played board games on the deck, watching the pelicans and eagles flying about, and the water-skiers and kayakers enjoying the beautiful waters. It was amazingly relaxing, and it was so good seeing my boys enjoying the outdoors and appreciating the nicer things in life.

It was only when we walked up to the lookout and I started taking some photos that I noticed I actually got reception on my phone from this 'middle of no where track' in the Delatite Forest and I had 8 emails come in... but I just scanned through them, realised there was nothing that couldn't wait, and enjoyed the rest of the weekend with my precious little men.

On the drive home, in the previous weeks, as soon as we got to the end of the road where I know the service comes back in, I'm busy checking if anyone loves me... but I didn't even look today until I actually made it home, a little over 2 and half hours after I could get service.

It is nice having a break from technology and just enjoying the people you love. It does help when you can admire the beauty that's around you, and it does make you appreciate all the little things that make you whole, and really the phone and internet don't even come close to bringing out the beauty in who you are.

It's Been A Long Time Between Drinks!

This would have to be the longest time since I've written a blog... I'm sorry! But a lot has been going on... school holidays, settling on my new holiday home, talking to people in the UK about my book, sooooooo much work that I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha, spending the weekends at the new holiday home (which at the moment doesn't have internet) so I can't write about it and helping a friend who has gone through an act of domestic violence... really, there are so many sad stories that go on within families, sometimes you have to count your blessings with what you have.

And that's the hard thing... things are looking positive again - most my friends have found renewed happiness, I'm feeling more comfortable in my financial, social, business and family position, friends call me with their happy news, things are looking up... but then one of them goes through such a terrible thing where she has to go call the police on her so called 'friend,' go to the doctors, get a CT scan to see if she has any facial fractures and her whole self esteem goes to shit, as those who are close to both of my friend and her perpetrator can't even see that she is the victim here, not the guy who hit her. There is no excuse for a blow to the face, yet the people close to her suggest that the guy must have been 'pushed.' WOW! Couldn't he have been 'pushed' to walk away, 'pushed' to have a level headed conversation, 'pushed' to go for a walk to clear his head, 'pushed' to have a cold shower to lower his temper... he could have been 'pushed' to do many things, but not 'pushed' to whack my friend in the face.

I was talking to a client today after she opened up about the status of selling her parents' home. She was so upset about it, as her brother was contesting the Will, because the house was left only to her, as their parents had 'given' him a house down the street 20 years ago, but he cashed it in, and now he has nothing. He had the opportunity for his parents to see him enjoying the fruits of their labour while they were alive, she had to wait until they were dead, so the money from their Will is very bittersweet for her. She said that her brother was horrible to her father, including giving him a few black eyes and assaults that needed stitches in his lifetime, so he had essentially written him out of his Will based on two elements - he had already received an entire house for free, and he was abusive. Yet now she needs to spend hard earned dollars on legal fees to stop her brother from getting a piece of her inheritance. She had to change the locks on her parents home and she isn't talking to her brother. It's so sad that families can get to that stage over 'money.' But I can see how easily it can happen. After talking to her, I count my blessings...

And my blessings are my two beautiful boys who are so compassionate, so helpful and so funny. They love running around the countryside around our new lake house, they love spending time together and helping each other out, they help around the house without whinging, they put so much effort into their schoolwork and try to extend themselves... they really do make me proud. But my blessings are also that I have found this beautiful paradise by the lake, I have clients who want to use my services always and I am now at the point where I am saying 'no' to work because I am too busy, which is terribly hard for me; I am ever so grateful for my beautiful friends, and I am happy to keep all the positive things and people in my life, and show the love to the people who deserve it.