It's Been A Long Time Between Drinks!

This would have to be the longest time since I've written a blog... I'm sorry! But a lot has been going on... school holidays, settling on my new holiday home, talking to people in the UK about my book, sooooooo much work that I don't know if I'm Arthur or Martha, spending the weekends at the new holiday home (which at the moment doesn't have internet) so I can't write about it and helping a friend who has gone through an act of domestic violence... really, there are so many sad stories that go on within families, sometimes you have to count your blessings with what you have.

And that's the hard thing... things are looking positive again - most my friends have found renewed happiness, I'm feeling more comfortable in my financial, social, business and family position, friends call me with their happy news, things are looking up... but then one of them goes through such a terrible thing where she has to go call the police on her so called 'friend,' go to the doctors, get a CT scan to see if she has any facial fractures and her whole self esteem goes to shit, as those who are close to both of my friend and her perpetrator can't even see that she is the victim here, not the guy who hit her. There is no excuse for a blow to the face, yet the people close to her suggest that the guy must have been 'pushed.' WOW! Couldn't he have been 'pushed' to walk away, 'pushed' to have a level headed conversation, 'pushed' to go for a walk to clear his head, 'pushed' to have a cold shower to lower his temper... he could have been 'pushed' to do many things, but not 'pushed' to whack my friend in the face.

I was talking to a client today after she opened up about the status of selling her parents' home. She was so upset about it, as her brother was contesting the Will, because the house was left only to her, as their parents had 'given' him a house down the street 20 years ago, but he cashed it in, and now he has nothing. He had the opportunity for his parents to see him enjoying the fruits of their labour while they were alive, she had to wait until they were dead, so the money from their Will is very bittersweet for her. She said that her brother was horrible to her father, including giving him a few black eyes and assaults that needed stitches in his lifetime, so he had essentially written him out of his Will based on two elements - he had already received an entire house for free, and he was abusive. Yet now she needs to spend hard earned dollars on legal fees to stop her brother from getting a piece of her inheritance. She had to change the locks on her parents home and she isn't talking to her brother. It's so sad that families can get to that stage over 'money.' But I can see how easily it can happen. After talking to her, I count my blessings...

And my blessings are my two beautiful boys who are so compassionate, so helpful and so funny. They love running around the countryside around our new lake house, they love spending time together and helping each other out, they help around the house without whinging, they put so much effort into their schoolwork and try to extend themselves... they really do make me proud. But my blessings are also that I have found this beautiful paradise by the lake, I have clients who want to use my services always and I am now at the point where I am saying 'no' to work because I am too busy, which is terribly hard for me; I am ever so grateful for my beautiful friends, and I am happy to keep all the positive things and people in my life, and show the love to the people who deserve it.

The Joy of Parenting

It's amazing how many people consider parenting as 'hard work.' What's with that? OK, yes it's a life changing, selfless act, and it always keeps you busy, but it's not 'work', and it's definitely not 'hard', it is monotonous, but it's also the joy of being a parent.

I've worked with my children alongside me since the day they were born, literally. I breast-fed them till they were both 16 months old and they were essentially attached to me for 18 hours a day for their first two years. I did what I had to do to be a mother, a provider and a care-taker for my sons, and for not one minute did I consider what I did for them to be 'work.'

Now that they are older, and a little more independent (well, a lot more considering what I did for them back then), I still enjoy being in their company, being there for them when they need me, but I also respect their needs to grow independently and discover themselves. They have their little chores to do to show responsibility to the family unit which of course, they consider to be work, but the day-to-day activities I do for them - making lunches, washing clothes, making their dinner, cleaning up after them, taking a forgotten hat to school, homework activities, driving them to sports meets, whatever I do for them, it's what I do to be a mum for them. It's not work, it's just busy!

I do feel sorry for the parents who believe that being a parent is a hardship. That they are 'put out' by the fact that they have to teach their children to help around the house, cook them meals, wash their clothes, clean up their vomit, get the chewing gum out of the hair.... You wonder why they became a parent in the first place? Even as a single parent, you don't think for one minute that you wish you didn't have to do clean up the undigested lasagna that's sprayed all over the carpet when you forced your child to eat their dinner and they kept telling you that they weren't feeling well. You just do it, because no one else will do it and it has to be cleaned up. You don't banish your kids for doing such a horrible thing, you show compassion and guilt that you didn't realise that they were 'that sick.'

Being a parent is a privilege. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my boys in my life. It definitely wouldn't be as fulfilling, it certainly wouldn't be full of love, cuddles and laughter, and there would be nothing to be proud of. And really, that's what the rewards are for just being 'busy.'