Monday, 4 August 2014

Judging Children Before they have a Chance

I watched a comedian do a speech on TED today and it made me realise how brainwashed we are in believing that the best most upstanding, professional people in this world come from stable, functional nuclear families. It couldn't be more farther than the truth.

There are thousands, if not millions of people who have made successes out of themselves because of their harsh upbringings. They are either orphans, foster children, adopted children, children from single parent families and even having a stint as a homeless child… yet society expects people to judge these children as 'no hoper,' 'dole-bludging,' 'criminals in the making' children or adolescents because they haven't been given the fine foundation of a loving, happily married family environment.

One thing I have noticed in this world, is that there are possibly as many unhappy marriages as there are divorces in this world… leaving about 5-10% of all marriages actually being happy. Some are happy with the life that they lead by being married to a particular person - either classifying them by occupation or elitism in society, some feel that they couldn't be happier if they left so they stick with what they know. Some 'put up' with their spouse, or co-exist if you like because it's 'easier' than 1) splitting the finances in half, 2) finding a new partner to share your life with or 3) keeping up appearances. But deep down, there is no vitality between them that keeps them 'in love.' Therefore, their children see this idea of love and marriage, and many see it for what it is, and don't want anything to do with it.

When it comes to famous or successful people in this world who were either orphaned, fostered, adopted or from a single parent family, the first people I think of are Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Steve Jobs, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Malcolm X and Nelson Mandela.  All were influential people of their time, and still are. Homeless celebrities include Kelly Clarkson, Jennifer Lopez, Jim Carrey, Drew Carrey, Kurt Cobain, Dr Phil, Martin Sheen, Kelsey Grammar, just a few to do what it takes to make a career in Hollywood, comedy or music. Other actors and singers include Eddie Murphy, Pierce Brosnan, James Dean, Willie Nelson, Madonna, Ingrid Bergman, Jodie Foster, Paul McCartney, Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore, Eartha Kitt, Cher and Ice T. Other celebrities who have been influential people in our lives include Babe Ruth, Dr Ruth, Dr Wayne Dyer, Jesse Jackson, Eleanor Roosevelt, Dave Thomas (founder of Wendys), Bill Clinton, Lance Armstrong and the lists seriously go on and on.

So don't you find it interesting, that it most beloved stories of heroes and heroines growing up to fight adversity, almost all are from an orphaned, fostered, adopted or single parent family? Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Jane Eyre, Harry Potter, James Bond, Huckleberry Finn, Tom Sawyer, Cinderella, David Copperfield, Green Hornet, Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights), Heidi, Snow White, Tarzan, Oliver Twist, Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, Little Orphan Annie, Lone Ranger, Paddington Bear, Pollyanna and Wolverine and even religious icons such as Mohammed, Moses and Saint Nicholas, were orphaned, homeless or from single parent families?   Are authors just glorifying their life path to give the extremes and harshness of no love, no money, no body in their lives to help them overcome their quest for invincibility, magic and power? Or do they write to show that we all have 'happy ever after' stories of someone caring enough to love them?

Can we conclude that children have more resilience and yearn to be better if they have had a 'disadvantaged' start in life, therefore have a bigger hunger to make something of themselves in both fiction and real life? I think so… Children who have been given a hard start know what it's like to miss out, and strive to make their lives better no matter what. These are the people we want to run our countries, these are the people who we want to aspire to be. I will never look down on a homeless person, an adopted person, an orphaned person or one from a single parent family because they will be the stars in this world, and make this place a better place. There's no room for judgement in this world… only happiness and peace, especially for our children.

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