Well, not me, but a friend of a friend invited me to be part of a Single Mothers Forum on Facebook and it literally broke my heart. So many dead beat dads out there, so many common stories, so many welfare addicts and so many women thinking that somebody else OWES them something. WOW!
It got to the point that I wrote a nice little soliloquy to one woman who was bitching about her self-employed ex husband who claims he's only making $37,000 a year and provides hardly any child support, yet can go on overseas trips and drive luxury cars, while she struggles with 'shared' care (um… doesn't that mean that 50% of the kids are with him, therefore 50% of the total cost of raising the children is up to him? and that she has 50% of her time to get a job!?) and hasn't got any money to raise their kids. I wrote to her suggesting that she has to stop thinking he owes her anything, and she needs to stop expecting the government to provide for her, and go out and work. I told her about the number of internet jobs out there she can do while her kids are in her care, and if she actually had some courage, determination and confidence in herself, she could actually become someone BETTER than her ex husband.
Really, ALL THE POWER IS TO YOU!! YOU have to make it happen. YOU have to JUST DO IT! You can't get upset with people who don't help you if YOU DON'T HELP YOURSELF.
Look, I know that's not the case with everyone, but this single mother's forum was overloaded with women asking about single parenting payments, unemployment benefits, rent assistance, child support, family tax benefits, education allowances and all the other handouts the Australian government give to parents, single or married, to get by. It clogged up my Facebook so much, I had to get out.
I just don't understand how there are so many single parents out there who believe that they are entitled to get someone else's hard earned money, especially when they have the exact amount of time with their kids as their ex-spouses, yet can't create the OPPORTUNITY to earn similar money. And I simply don't understand this, because, in my case, I am the one who has the heavy duty artillery - the successful business, the kids 100% of the time and a home that my kids have their own place and things, where my ex CHOOSES to do the job that he loves (that pays very little), but neglects his responsibilities in providing for his children in the way of shelter, transport, food, medical expenses and education. I have told my ex if he wants to be in our children's lives, then he needs to be financially responsible for them, therefore, yes, we do go through the Child Support Agency so he pays his fair share, but I don't need his money, for me, it's a matter of principle. If he doesn't want to be in their lives, he doesn't need to pay, and he needs to leave us alone. It's that simple. We are currently interacting with him once every 4-6 weeks. That's how much his kids mean to him.
If something is not working for you, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT. No one can change your life for you, YOU have to do it for you. Have some passion, think positively, create your own destiny, get rid of all the negativity that is dominating your life and BE the better person for being above all the pettiness that comes with exes, government handouts and chasing child support.
Be kinder to yourself, learn to love yourself and that change of energy will be all the help you need.
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