Dexter!

Today was a good day! We got to pick up our newest family member Dexter! Dexter is our 8 week old Cavoodle (half Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and half Miniature Poodle). He is the sweetest little puppy. Cavoodles are bred to be low shedding, companion dogs. They love to sit by your side and are completely loyal. They grow to about knee high, some taller, some smaller, so they are great for going for a walk or run with, as they aren't too small that you have to wait for their tiny little legs or too big that you can't keep up. My boys already love him and are excited about looking after him.

 

Today, we agreed to meet his breeder at a horse show she was riding in which was about half way between our homes. She told me she had a gold car with a purple and pink horse float attached to it, and I really didn't expect there to be soooooo many horse floats at this meet. They were everywhere. It took us about 15 minutes to find her float, and we heard Dexter whimpering in his carrier waiting to be loved. I called the breeder to tell her that we had arrived, and she turned up with her horse a couple of minutes later. She went through his papers, his diet and that the reason why he was whimpering was because he had his sister in the carrier with him all morning, and about an hour before we got there, she went to her new owner, so he was left by himself for the first time in his life.

We took him home with us, with a little detour, and he settled down in the car cuddling up to my 10 year old. When we came home, we fed him, as we were told he hadn't eaten all day, and he lapped up the food so fast, with a water chaser.

 and settled in to playing and jumping around our home, 

before in cuddled up to me on the couch to watch some afternoon TV.

He woke up and did a little puddle on the carpet... so I grabbed him and put him on the puppy pad to remind him that this is where he needs to wee. We had some visitors, he had another sleep and when he woke up, I took him outside on the lawn and he did a poop within about 30 seconds! His first poop with us and he did it perfectly! Such a good boy!!

So, that was Dexter's first day with us. We already love him and he's bringing loads of happiness to our little family xx

Time to Take a Stand This Thanksgiving

It breaks my heart each and every time I read something about America. If it's gun violence, the reduction of food stamps, homes going into foreclosure, the low wages, the under-employment or the health care system, no matter which way you look at it, it's a country in crisis.

The United States is a beautiful country of absolutely magical landscapes, gorgeous loving people and patriotism that is very much unlike any other country you'll ever visit... yet there is absolutely no humanity within the government systems and corporate America. How can the people be so loving and caring, yet their government can treat their people as third-class citizens?

For instance, I recently read that Walmart, the largest family owned employer in the country, and the wealthiest family in the world, has the same amount of money as the bottom 30% of the population of the United States ($150 billion as of August 2013), yet they have the audacity to have collection boxes out the front of their stores asking their customers to donate food items so that their 'associates' (employees) can have a nice Thanksgiving. Why aren't they giving them bonuses, raising their wages, doing something to ensure that their employees can live above the poverty line and enjoy the nation's tradition? It just tears my heart out.

Then this health care crisis... the compulsory health care system will cripple those who are barely surviving. Alaska is the most expensive state costing a minimum of $385 a month for the low-cost bronze care. That's most people's monthly food bill. In Australia, I pay $243 a month for a medium level health insurance which also includes rebates on everything from dental to massages, speech therapy to contact lenses. The least expensive state is Minnesota at $174 a month. How are people who have no jobs, have no home to live in, have no welfare from the government expected to pay this? http://finance.yahoo.com/news/50-states-obamacare-113318311.html

The hospitality sector is beyond a joke. With wages fixed at $2.13 an hour plus tips, most servers are making around $9 per hour, if they are lucky... but the $2.13 an hour has been fixed for 21 years... how does that work? And why are 10,000,000 people in the United States still living on last century's wages? http://www.upworthy.com/something-frozen-for-21-years-needs-to-thaw-right-now?c=ufb1

The scary thing is, I'm not sure if it's sensationalism or truth, but I read this morning that China is refusing to stockpile anymore US debt. They currently have about $3.66 trillion (or 1/3) of the US debt, because they wanted to artificially kept the Chinese Yuan down to sell their products cheaply to companies like Walmart, but now they don't want anymore US debt and will start selling their 'cheap products' at prices they should be selling them at, making it difficult for Americans to survive.
http://www.trueactivist.com/china-announces-that-it-is-going-to-stop-stockpiling-u-s-dollars/

How did the American government take it so far? 1980s Gordon Gecko greed, the ease of credit cards, the promise of a fortunate life through Hollywood fantasies? It's almost as if the government needs to wipe the slate clean, create completely new humanity based legislation that allows their country to grow and stop having such a fighting mentality that they need to protect the world from inhumanity when they need a great big look at themselves. If you look at the vicious circle - lack of jobs leads to poverty, poverty leads to crime, crime leads to senseless murders, murders lead to heartache and heartache can lead in two different directions - for the strong, they can be inspired and make a stance, for the weak... and I'm sorry to say, in a country that is getting weaker by the minute, it leads to depression, hopelessness and a population who can no longer work. There is no encouragement in jobs as the wages are pathetic. And if you want to get a decent job, you need to get a college degree - if you can't afford it, you get a student loan, and then you're still at the poverty line until you pay it off over the first 10 years of your working life. It's like there is no way to get ahead unless you have a wealthy family who's prepared to support you until you are 40.

I will admit, there are plenty of jobs getting great dollars in the US, but there is a widening gap between the rich and the middle class that is destroying their beautiful country. If the government insisted that employers gave their people an incentive to work hard that was actually commensurate with their skill levels, experience and cost of living, then maybe the people will be less likely to commit crimes out of desperation and hatred. Maybe people will actually have time to support their children with compassion and love because they aren't working 4 jobs to survive and their children won't feel like they are being left behind and being babysat by violent video games that they want to take out on the streets and destroy their town because of the lack of time and love their parents can give them. Maybe if they started supporting locally made products rather than imports from China they may actually create a workforce that sustains themselves.

It's not about getting back to Christian values, fighting for better gun control or tightening abortion laws... can't you see that if you have jobs you have productivity, you have taxes being paid and you have less boredom... Most parents will understand that the more you get your children involved in things like sport, dance, music, scouts, etc, the less likely they are to get themselves in trouble with the law, have unwanted pregnancies or have anger against the world and start random shootings. If we fix the problem from ground level - job creation and satisfaction, there will be more self-pride and happiness within the country.

To all my American friends, I hope you don't find me idealistic, but if you fight for anything - fight for jobs and wages, and the rest will take care of themselves.

The New Version of the 'Strict' Parent

Parenting values have changed over the last 20 odd years. Your parents were considered 'strict' if they didn't let you do anything. You weren't allowed to play with friends after school, you had to stay home and do your homework, you weren't allowed to leave the house by yourself, and you were grounded, smacked, punished and yelled at for every minor thing you did wrong. A grounding usually didn't mean much, because you weren't allowed to do anything you wanted to do anyway, it just meant that you couldn't have 'lolly night' - the treat for the week, because you were 'grounded,' you couldn't watch TV or you couldn't participate in a family activity, which usually inconvenienced one of your parents as well, as they had to stay home with you, while they others enjoyed the outing. But your parents were considered 'strict' because they didn't let up on the punishment... there was no leniency, no mercy because they wanted to teach you a lesson to stop whatever you did from you doing it again.

So in 2013, what is considered to be a 'strict' parent? A strict parent is now considered to be a parent who insists a child helps around the home rather than putting 'restrictions' on them. They make their children be independent - putting clothes in the laundry, putting dirty dishes in the dishwasher after they have eaten a meal, making their own lunches for school, having allotted times for homework, walking home from school by themselves and having their own keys to the house, essentially allowing them the freedom to look after themselves but also contribute to the team/family environment.  Whereas, the 'new normal' parent does everything for their child - takes them to school, chooses their clothes for them each morning, makes their breakfast, ballet lessons, dance lessons, soccer training, swimming lessons, playdates (and stays with them), essentially fills up their calendar so there is absolutely no time to actually do any chores, homework or have a chance to actually learn any life skills, except socialising (probably because they have a housekeeper or cleaner to do it all for them).

The problem with the new normal style of parenting is that they aren't helping their children develop the skills and character they need later in life to help them deal with adversity. Chores are things no one wants to do, but if our children did everything they wanted to do, they would be spoilt little brats and won't be able to cope with being told 'No' when they apply for a job. You have to do the hard yards to get the rewards. As my old school motto says 'No reward without effort.' And it's true... if we raise children who don't understand the value of hard work, independence and actually doing things for themselves, then what hope have they got on the outside world?

So, with the new definitions, I would be considered a 'strict' parent. And I do get the weird looks from parents who can't believe my 10 year old walks a 20 minute walk home from school every day because they think he's too young, or it's too far. But he loves it, as he gets to walk home with a couple of friends, who are a little closer than he to school, and they stop at a friend's house to shoot a few hoops, and it's his own time just to be himself. He's aware of the time, and it's very rarely he goes past his expected time to be home, but he has his phone on him, so I can reach him. It's about teaching your children responsibility, and with responsibility comes rewards. I even get weird looks when I go out for dinner with friends and I no longer call a babysitter. My boys are completely safe at home, and we have neighbours they can call if they are worried or start a kitchen fire. They know what they are allowed to do and not to do when I'm out, and they will often text me to see if they can rent a movie off Apple TV when they could easily just waste the money away without me knowing about it, and it's all too late.

By saying this, we have developed a level of respect between us - respect that allows us all to have fun, be responsible for ourselves as well as the family unit and help each other out when we can. And if there is too much iPad game playing and homework gets neglected, then unfortunately, we do go back to the iPad ban for 24 hours, but there is no resentment for it... they know that they stuffed up and they have to make up lost time and finish what needs to be done.

My job as a parent is to prepare my children for the rest of their lives. If you don't take the baby steps early on in life - and that can be from the age of 2 or 3, they will get a rude awakening when it's time to be responsible for themselves. You can't hold their hand through every little step, you need to show them the way, praise them for their successes, and encourage them to keep going if they aren't quite getting it.

I find it's the older parent (the parents who had their children in their late 30s/early 40s) who are the 'new normal' and the younger parents are the 'new strict.' Maybe it has something to do with how long they tried to conceive a child, or they saved for their financially secure lives before having children so they can enjoy them, do everything for them and hold onto their babies for as long as they can, whereas the younger parents, the ones who need to work hard to keep money coming in, have less time to take their children to 15 different activities a week and need the help around the house or need their children to be a little more independent, are the 'strict' ones. And there are those in the middle who are a mixture of the two. We need to allow our children to grow up, we need to stop thinking of them as your little baby when they are 8 or 9 (as extraordinary as it sounds, some kids are entering puberty by then) and have faith, that if we teach them well, they will be amazing, responsible, capable, understanding and loving kids for the rest of their lives.

Turning the Big 4-0!

Yesterday was my big day... I turned 40. So much I wanted to achieve before I was 40... well, really only a publishing deal, but I'm confident it will happen while I am 40, so I'm OK with that... but I believe the 'wise' button was released and I've finally put a stop to all the things that were making me distressed, upset, fragile and unsure of who I am, and somehow the clarity shone through and I've realised what is important to me.

My first piece of clarity was seeing how much I am actually loved by so many people around the world. Friends old and new said the most beautiful, uplifting, positive things about me - things I didn't realise they could see in me, things I hope I try to be but most the time I don't feel, so it was nice to know that the message I want to get out about who I am is being heard by some of the most beautiful people I know. And then there is family who were never really there for me when I was younger because of circumstance, but I find to be more family to me now than ever before, thanks to the connecting nature of Facebook and email. And then there are work colleagues - even some I don't even see anymore wished me the happiest of birthdays. All in all, on the days I can feel so lonely, I know now that I have no reason to be... everyone is just a phone call, an email, a Facebook message or a Skype away, because as much as they care, show support and enjoy my company, it made me realise how special so many people are to me.

The second piece of clarity is that for the past 25 years I have been completely and utterly insane. And by that, I mean, I have tried and tried and tried to show reason, love, compassion, companionship, generosity, joy, inspiration and trust to some of the most important people anyone could have in their lives, yet almost every time I try to get close, do something to show them how special they are to me, go out of my way, reveal my vulnerabilities, create a common bond, really anything that is supposed to keep this particular relationship alive... they have knocked me down, judged me, hurt my feelings, killed my spirit, used information I gave them against me and have shown not one inch of compassion, support or love for the very person I am or be the people I need them to be. And the ironic thing is, they only want to have 'positive people' in their lives, yet they can only say negative things about me to me. So I've come to the conclusion that I will no longer bother wasting my heart away on a relationship that doesn't serve me any purpose except heartache. I cannot change them, and they cannot change me, so the relationship cannot exist.

The third piece of clarity is I need to learn to love myself more. I have to stop being so hard on myself - stop working so hard, start exercising more, start relishing the beautiful tastes in food rather than just eating for the sake of eating, start taking in deeper breaths, start smiling more, start laughing more and start seeing the funny side of things rather than the serious side. I had an amazing lunch with an old girlfriend yesterday, someone I don't think I had seen in about 3 years, and we chatted like it was only last week that we had last seen each other. We laughed at some of the serious things that had happened in our lives which were stranger than fiction, we joked about imaginary scenarios and in the end, we wished we had so much more time to catch up, even though it ended up being a 3 hour lunch. I need to take more time out to enjoy those moments.

This is possibly the first year I have received presents and actually appreciated every single one of them. It's not that I haven't been grateful when I receive a present, it's that I get disheartened that I make such an effort to buy the perfect present for people I love, and not the same thought goes into a gift for me... For instance, it took almost 16 years of being with my husband for him to buy something that was solely for me and I wanted it, not something that he wanted to give to me because he wanted it. But this year, I must have put the vibe out, as I was spoilt with some beautiful and unexpected gifts. My favourite one was a little Happiness Kit - which had an eraser in it to erase all the bad things out of your life, a couple of marbles in case you lost yours, a button to press in case of panic, a peg to hold it all together and a coin so you're never completely broke. I smiled as it was so sweet, and when I saw my neighbour to thank her for it, she said 'well they say you can't buy happiness, and now you can!' in the form of this little kit. So cute, and so perfect as a little reminder of what you need to do to stay happy.

For all those who know me well, they know I have a huge heart... and unfortunately that heart gets hurt and bruised too easily, yet it can also open up huge and wide for those who appreciate it. I will give money to the kids who are sick, in poverty or trying to make something of themselves. I give to the emergency services for the amazing jobs they do in helping everyone in our society. I will be there for friends who go through a crisis and need an emotional outlet to talk through it all or just give them a hug and the support they need. I will do whatever it takes to ensure my children get the education they need, stop any bullying they go through, enable them to maintain friendships by valuing their choices in friends and be the best Mum I can be. And by doing all of it, knowing that I am helping, inspiring and giving to those who actually appreciate me, I know I am being the best person I can be. And that's all that matters... to be the best person I can be for my kids, for my friends, the family that values me and for me.

They say that 'Life Begins at 40'... well maybe that's true... maybe it's when all your fears wither away and you get the courage to be the person you want to be, retain the relationships that serve you best and find the place inside to love yourself.

Sign of the Times

No matter which country you live in, it seems to be apparently harder now than compared with any other generation, to be a first home buyer. When my parents were buying their first home, the average house price was four times their annual wage. In Australia now, it's eleven times their annual wage. You physically need to have two full time incomes to pay off the $400,000-$500,000 you borrow, let alone saving close to $140,000 to cover the 20% deposit and stamp duties you need to ensure you don't have to pay mortgage insurance and other ludicrous fees the banks and government throw at you. In Australia, the hardest thing at all at the moment is that, even though we have the lowest interest rates on record, the housing prices are sky-rocketing, for one simple reason... there is a culture of investors out there who are 'teaming it up.'

And that culture is the Chinese. They are collectively getting together, as family members - father, mother, son, uncle, aunt, cousins, etc, and buying one property with four or five incomes contributing to the mortgage, they are paying off the mortgage within a couple of years and then going to buy the next property... they continue doing it, living in small 2 bedroom apartments, rotating beds to sleep in as some family members do night shifts and some do day shifts, until everyone has a property to live in to call their own. Then they continue building their small fortune with investment properties. With their four-five incomes + rental income, they are paying off their investments even quicker... instead of 2-3 years, it maybe 12 months, and it snow balls until they are simply just paying cash for each and every investment and bidding every other potential buyer out of the auction race.

So why aren't the western world learning from the Chinese ability to create wealth? I'm not saying that we should live in cramped quarters with our parents in the same bedroom as us when we are twenty, but can't we create a home buying model that ensures that our families stick together and build wealth as a team? Isn't that how the rich get richer? Creating a family dynasty that was portrayed in TV shows like 'Dynasty' and 'Dallas,' or even the real life dynasties like the Hiltons, the Kennedys and the English Royal family?

Ok, some of you will say that it's long term family inheritance that has helped those families be who they are... but they started somewhere... they started with a family bond, a will to leave a legacy, a will to help each other as families should and can.

I think it was somewhere after World War II when families were left fatherless, returned soldiers received war service homes at heavily reduced rates, but had to fend for themselves as they had lost parents, brothers and sisters in the war that this ideal of 'buying the Australian dream' became autonomous. The government and banks assessed you on you being a 'returned soldier,' 'a new Australian' or 'a war widow' and that you had no support network of family to help you, therefore your ability to pay a mortgage was assessed on the one income. So as pride took over, the pride that you could actually pay your home off on the one income in a reasonable amount of time, so did the attitude that 'I did it on my own, so my kids can do it on their own.'

But what our parent's generation don't get is, yes they may have been paying up to 20% on their home loans in the 80s, they were paying 20% on a $50,000 loan... so essentially $10,000 a year in interest. Where as the first home buyers are paying 5% on a $400,000 loan... which equals $20,000 a year in interest. On a $50,000 loan, you may have only paid off $2000 in a year in capital, 4% of your loan. On a $400,000 loan, you need to pay an extra $16,000 a year to pay 4% off your capital. So the difference of achieving the same result in different times is $12,000 a year in the 1980s to $36,000 in the 2010s. But is a first home buyer making 3 times the income as their parents were when they first stepped into the real estate world?

The Australian Tax Office statistics say that in 1989, when the interest rates were at their all time high, the average annual Australian wage was $26,073, in 2009 the average annual wage was $62,171 (and we had 8-9% interest rates). Can you imagine paying $36,000 a year on your mortgage on $62,171? More than half of your income is on your mortgage, and you haven't even taken your tax out of your income yet...

Our family attitudes have to change for the next generation... we can no longer allow our kids to contemplate doing it on their own. We have to act not only like a family, but a team... a team who helps each other financially, emotionally and physically. It's not that one team player out-performs another team player, it's working on each other's strengths. It's not giving them everything on a silver platter, it's showing them how to strive for goals, meeting their goals and relishing in the success of their goals, but giving them the strength that they are not doing it alone, and that if they falter, they are letting the team down, not just themselves.

We need to have a collective attitude in our families. It's OK to live apart, it's OK to have different goals, but if we don't want our housing prices, the basic need for shelter, to be taken away from us, we need to think smarter and more collectively.

Should Our Vulnerabilities Make You Less of a Person?

Most people are afraid of exposing their weaknesses, when in fact they are physically exposing them everyday through their appearances - the look of stress in their face, their weight, the bags under their eyes from not sleeping, biting their nails, smoking cigarettes, a permanent frown on their face when in their not putting on their 'people' face... you know, the face you automatically put on when you're in company to act professionally at work, to be social with the mums at school, to have your photo taken... No matter how we are in our 'let's show the world who we are today' face, we will let our vulnerabilities be known through our 'no one is watching' face.

So, when someone does catch us losing our guard - biting our nails in public, smoking a cheeky cigarette after dropping the kids off at school, eating that Snickers bar between meals, constantly looking in the mirror because we don't think we are good looking enough, crying in the car when you think no one else can see you.. should it make us less of a person?

Certainly not... it only makes us more human. What is more telling is how the person who caught us in the act reacts... will they do something to show you that they care about us, will they offer idle gossip to people who know us that we let our defences down, or will they ignore us completely because we didn't have our 'social/professional' face up and they don't know how to handle our emotions with us?

Showing our vulnerabilities only makes us more human. It is us reaching out for help, hoping someone will ask us what's wrong, offer to help us or give us emotional support, but so many people just don't want to know...

And that's heartbreaking to me... I go inside the lives of many people, into the privacy of their own homes, and they expose to me - a stranger - some of their hardships and their worries, and all they want is someone to listen, possibly give them some advice, or someone to be compassionate and sympathetic to their plight. Most the time, I walk out of their homes and you can see a small weight has lifted off their shoulders because I've taken the time to help them through their concerns and a smile has emerged. Is it easier to talk to a stranger about your concerns, or is it becoming harder and harder to talk to friends and family about our concerns because they 'know you too well' and think that you're stupid, naive, overly emotional, making things up in your head or simply don't have enough time in their day for your antics?

And this is where the problem lies... if the people closest to us actually took the time to listen, support, appreciate and value all our vulnerabilities, highs and lows, worries and concerns, those characteristics that make up the person who we are, then maybe, those vulnerabilities, worries and concerns would actually lessen and we would be more open to smiling more, laughing more, enjoying ourselves and the people whoa are closest to us more, and stop hiding behind bitten fingernails, cigarettes and Snickers bars.

I must admit, and I'm sure many people who have travelled have experienced the same thing... but once you are out of your comfort zone, away from all the people who have negative things to say about you - your family, your work colleagues, your friends, etc, you actually step away from those vulnerabilities and discover the person you actually are. You fall in love with your confidence, your courage, your ability to actually be out on your own. You actually don't 'give a shit' about anyone else except yourself and your fellow travellers who have also lost that big weight off their shoulders that they are carrying for everyone else. You swap Snickers bars for local produce, you swap biting your nails for being in awe of the landscape, and you smoke cigarettes because it's trendy in Paris or Amsterdam, not because you're stressed about getting through your day.

So next time you see someone who's looking a little frazzled and struggling to keep their 'public face' together, take the time to actually ask them how they are... really ask them, and don't accept the answer 'I'm OK' because you clearly can see that they aren't. Don't feel burdened if they let it all out in a whirlwind of hurts and emotional baggage, just be the sympathetic ear they need and show some genuine compassion, some human spirit and help them rediscover their smile.

An Erotic Tale... a Foreplay of My Novel Aspirations

As you all know, I'm working really hard in finishing my book to get it out to you all as soon as I can... So I thought I would bring you a 'taste' of some of the naughtiness in my writing, an interlude of lust, or maybe a celebration of heightened sexuality... please note, I am deliriously tired at the moment after working a third straight day of 16+ hours.. so I thought I would give you something unexpected. So here goes!

Carrie sat idly by her computer waiting for her lover's call... She was dressed in her soft purple satin lingerie with black lace softly outlining the edges of her voluptuous breasts and the curves of her legs. Her long soft blonde locks shaped her subtly made-up face, so she had that seductive natural look her lover always loved about her. She'd been waiting for thirty minutes, waiting for her lover to log into his Skype account so they could intimately enjoy each other when they couldn't be together physically. Carrie loved their lustful seductions, as they helped her connect with herself through the power of imagination and intimacy, sound and instruction, sight and pleasure. Randy Elwood, a senator from Georgia, was her secret lover, and was regularly late for their lover's tryst as he was always called out to some political emergency, so Carrie tried to understand that she just had to be patient.

Carrie had an episode of 'Game of Thrones' on the television in the background, trying to pass the time. Her eyes sleepy, as it had been a long day, but her lover had promised her that he would Skype her. It had been three days since she'd last seen him, and she wanted to see him desperately. At 12.02am he logged in. Carrie excited that she wasn't forgotten, tousled her hair, had one last glance in the mirror to see if she 'presented well' and accepted his Skype call.

"Hey, how was your night?" she asked him.
"Hectic... I don't want to go into it. I want to be here with you Baby." Randy said.

Carrie smiled. She loved when he spoke affectionately to her. She loved looking at him... looking at his baby bear brown eyes, his heartwarming smile and his unblemished skin. Her whole aura glowed when he made the time to see her.

"Do you want to see what I'm wearing?" she asked with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Yes ma'am! That's right, you said you'd have something special for me." Randy said, remembering a past conversation.

Carrie sat up on her bed out of her lying position, and softly grazed her bra with the back of her finger to show Randy how sexy she could be. She saw Randy's jaw drop, like he'd forgotten how beautiful she was. Carrie used her other hand to brush her skin slowly down her body, making her way to the edge of her panties. She stopped before going any further, just to tease him a little before their ultimate seduction. 

"Ooh Baby, circle your nipples on the outside of your bra so I can see them sticking out of the material." Randy asked.

Carrie did what he asked. She loved his commanding nature, his sense of authority. It made her feel wanted and desired, yet incredibly sexy at the same time. 

"Can you see them?" Carrie asked.

"Yes Baby... you look so fine. Now pinch them for me, I want to see your body react to you pinching them."

Carrie squeezed her nipples, sending bolts of pleasure down between her legs. She started to gyrate her pelvis to augment the pleasure. She closed her eyes and bent her neck backwards moving to the uncontrollable rhythms of her body.

"That's it Baby." Randy said, "take it further."

Carrie opened her eyes and could see Randy playing with his manhood. He had moved the screen so she could see his bare slightly hairy chest, revealing only his nipples, his handsome face and his arm movements in the left hand side of the frame. Carrie thought it was only fair to show him her womanly breasts, so she slowly let the straps down over her shoulders, unclip her bra from behind and held her breasts in the creases of her elbows, before dramatically revealing the buoyancy of her bosom to the screen.

"God you're beautiful Carrie. Wish I could nibble on those breasts right now and make you cum," Randy said, completely in awe of Carrie's porcelain skin and perky nipples.

"Oh Baby, please don't tease me... you know it's still two months away before we can be together again. I wish it were sooner. Please just enjoy this time for what it is."

"I know Baby... it will come quicker than you think. But I want you to cum for me right now! Do you think you can do that for me?" Randy said with the cheekiest smile on his face.

"I'll try..." Carrie said with a smile, knowing that Randy was trying to make her feel good about herself, but also knowing how easy it was for her to cum just by listening to his sultry southern accent.

Carrie continued to squeeze one of her nipples with one hand, while sucking on the other nipple with her mouth. She watched with intent the reaction she gave Randy. She could see a wave of pleasure hit him, like he instantly lost the stress of the day's work and found himself in the moment of being with her. She loved how she could do that to him - make him relax with just one amazing move...

I could get a lot juicier, but as I said, it was a 'foreplay.' Let me know if you like what you read and would love to read more.

Love,
Suzy xx

How Much is Too Much?

Our children want to try everything - it may be soccer, football, baseball, tennis, swimming, a musical instrument, karate, gymnastics, basketball, netball, softball, hockey, cycling, skiing, snowboarding, little athletics or dance classes... sometimes they excel at it and become ultra competitive, other times, they love the social time with their friends or the knowledge that they are starting to become 'good' at something. Some children are doing 2-3 activities a night after school by the time they fit in practices and games, swimming lessons and cultural school. But when does it become too much?

The first sign is when your child doesn't have time to do their homework, or ends up staying up until 10pm each night trying to get their homework done because their afternoons are chewed up by their extra curricular activities. 10pm is ok if they are in high school, but 8 and 9 year olds trying to stay awake getting their compulsory homework done is a little bit unfair on the child.

The second sign is when your child just wants to have a friend over to play, and you haven't a free day in the week to make that happen. Children need to have that out of school time to bond with friends without the peer pressure of other school mates being around. They need to develop one-on-one social skills that are outside the boundaries of the school gates. It gives them a chance to understand themselves better when being confronted by a situation that they agree with or don't agree with to build better friendships and relationships.

And conversely, if a child has too much one-on-one time with individuals, they can lose their ability to understand the significance of what they can bring to the table in a group or team situation. You need the balance to develop both sides of their personalities. I know from personal experience that I was restricted to solo activities as a child - individual swimming and music lessons were the base of my activities, and if a group of friends wanted to go out together, I wasn't allowed to go, as my mother was afraid of 'gang' mentalities. I was allowed to go out with one friend at a time only... so essentially, I feel more comfortable in one on one situations and am almost terrified of being in a group situation, scared that no one will talk to me. I did do 'group' musical activities - orchestra, string quartet and choir, but again, I was scared of playing out of tune, singing off key, or not being as good as everyone else, so I never really perform at my best in a group situation, but give me a chance to perform as a solo artist, and I blitzed it (well, I did once!). In a group situation, I blended into the background, sometimes even pretending to sing or play when I forgot the lyric or lost where I was on the page. Hence the reason why I probably work alone, and the reason why I insist that my boys play team sports to get that understanding of not being an 'island' in their relationships on and off the field, and for when they get older and have to put it into their business relationships.

But what happens when your child's life changes and their extra curricular activities that they have played for 4, 5 or even 8 years, get in the way of new activities that are age appropriate as they turn into teenagers? How do you choose? We all physically can't do everything, but some parents insist that their child 'loves' their three different sports they play, that their child is dedicated to their two practice sessions and weekly matches each week for each sport, and that they are staying out of trouble by being so 'involved.' Are they really loving it, or are they telling you they are because you are the one who has the dream that one day they may get a sporting scholarship at a good university, become a professional athlete and have a job that may only last them 10 years with its high risk of injury and endless competitiveness, but unbelievable pay-packet while it lasts?

We can't live our children's lives for them, and they certainly can't live the lives we wanted for ourselves, but we can give them the life skills that they need to take with them beyond their lives in our home. I asked my children last night if any of their friends are paid (bribed) for good grades... one of their friends gets $10 for a C, $30 for a B and $60 for an A in each report card, but if there is one F on the report card, they get nothing. With 10-15 subjects, their parents could be handing out a bit of money. But how can that be fair when you have children of different learning abilities, and one child just will never be able to achieve an A and the other one gets a report card full of them? It doesn't mean that the one who doesn't get the As isn't trying their hardest, it's just they aren't 'built that way.' What does it do to that child's self esteem? Then there are the children who constantly ask their parents for money without helping around the house because their parents insist that their 'job' at that point of their life is to be a student.

But there's more to life than just being a student... our children need to learn the skills of saving, budgeting, working for money, learning to do domestic chores, learning about 'team based' responsibility in the form of helping around the house, and getting rewarded for doing so. They need to learn how to help others by volunteering or fundraising, and they need to know that 'life' is not handed out on a platter. There is no reward without effort. (Possibly a reason why our world is in a debt crisis at the moment, as there has been too much expectation from people that they can rely on a hand-out from the government, their credit card company or their parents to survive).

My oldest son starts high school next year. He is my saviour when it comes to helping around the house and he does what he can to make sure that I won't go cranky. We have discussed what 'starting high school' involves in terms of his level of responsibility to himself and his family. We have discussed what he wants to achieve throughout his high school years, and he's excited about what school offers him, in terms of the World Challenge Program in Year 10/11, camps, science programs, music opportunities, etc. He knows that he will be expected to work a part-time job when he's legally able to and he has to integrate it into his life somehow - if it is hockey umpiring, working at a supermarket, working at a movie theatre, mowing lawns or doing the McDonalds thing. Up until then, we have agreed that I will pay him $25 a week for his chores around the house, and he will need to budget with it... as that will have to pay for any food he wants from the canteen at school (he can always take a free lunch from home), entertainment activities with friends (going to the movies, seeing a sports game, going to the arcade), birthday and Christmas presents for his brother, his friends and I (and his father if he wants to) and anything he wants along the way in terms of toys, sports goods that are outside his extra-curricular sport, food on the way home from school, etc. He can always make more money by taking initiative to do extra things, like washing the car, cleaning the barbecue, etc but he also knows that sometimes you don't get paid for everything you do, because sometimes it's for the 'sake of just being part of a family' - a family that's a team and helps each other.

But I hear of stories that just horrify me about how parents just offer their children everything on a platter. The World Challenge Program is quite a contentious issues for some parents. Essentially, the program is designed to teach children how to think outside themselves... the CHILDREN need to raise $7000 to pay for a one month trip to an African community (maybe 2 communities) and work in that community once they are there. Generally, they have 18 months to make their $7000 (around $100 a week). There are companies that actually give jobs to children who are working towards the program. It also teaches children initiative in how they raise their funds - it could be a chocolate drive, a sausage sizzle, washing cars, mowing lawns, running errands, umpiring games, coaching, dog walking, a proper job with a 'boss' or even asking for donations from friends and family through Go Fund Me style websites to get $10 here, $20 there... But some parents insist that their children's lives are too busy and they will 'fund' the majority of their trip. What is that teaching their children? Is it teaching them responsibility? Is it teaching them what commitment is about? Is it teaching them the ability to actually feel satisfied and proud of themselves because getting the money was easy? Because when they actually get to Africa and see the simplicity of the African lives, the basic needs that they don't have and we just take for granted, how will they survive a day let alone a month?

Children need a balance in life and too much of one thing can be more damaging to the greater good of their personalities. They need to work with their hands as well as on computers, they need to spend as much time outdoors as they do indoors, and they need to learn that while we give them 'some' things, it's important that other things are earned. It's all balance... I'm not saying that I'm the perfect mother, far from it, but I understand the importance of ensuring that my boys need balance in their lives between what they 'love' to do and what they 'have' to do, so they can appreciate what they get when they get it, and earn money, respect, pride, autonomy and team skills from what they learn in life skills.