As you all know, I question the concept of the belief in anything else other than the belief in yourself to make your life the best it can be. I firmly stand in the thought that we have one life and we must live it to the fullest and without regret, as we can't turn back time to change our destiny. And I hope that my readers can see that, with how I take my boys on adventures, have my own business and strive to live my dream of being a published author. I am the one making it happen, not some chosen path that a higher spirit has given me.
I live life without fear... some might say it's ignorance, courage or stupidity. After all, I am driving 6800kms around Europe, not understanding most words on the street signs, gradually getting an idea for the road rules as I am going along, driving on the wrong side of the car and road than I am used to, finding the tightest streets squeezing my car between hard stone walls and tour buses and having no idea how we drove past each other without trading paint, and driving on some of the fastest motorways in the world when our country's fastest speed limit is 110km/h. I was told I was very brave to attempt such a mission, but I didn't think it's brave at all... it's taking on the adventure! (and even 5300kms into the Europe side (plus 1800kms in the UK) I am still enjoying the drive. Some even said to me when I decided to get a divorce, it was the bravest thing anyone could do... and I really didn't comprehend what they meant until a was in the true depth of all the hardship it created. But it also made me realise, that the people who say that divorce is a brave thing to do, and have themselves had serious issues with their own marriages, just showed me that they are weak and cowardly for not being strong enough to make the change that could make them happy and actually turn their lives around.
I am lucky, I will say, as I have been close to tragedy numerous times, stuck in it, had family surrounded by it and almost lost everything I had to my name, but nothing stopped my spirit - the spirit inside me, not an external force, from fighting for what I want, what I need to seek fulfilment in MY OWN LIFE.
So in saying all of that, I cannot understand how people seek comfort in knowing that if a loved one passes away, that they are 'in a better place,' 'are in the arms of God,' or have been 'granted eternal life' for all the good they have done in this life. Why does it matter? Why aren't they concentrating on THIS LIFE, to make THIS EXISTING LIFE better? There is no certainty that God even exists and there is an after life, so why can't they concentrate on what they know is true - their own life NOW. We are all in charge of our own destiny if we were born in poverty or privilege. You see so many born in riches live dismal lives of drug and alcohol abuse, yet you see starving children in Africa become talented football stars because they put the effort and passion into what they love to do. Why can't those who've lost a loved one just be satisfied that their loved one can now 'rest in peace?' 'Rest' without worrying if their children are going to be ok, 'rest' without knowing where they will get money to pay the bills, 'rest' without worrying if they have actually reached God's arms and an eternal life, 'rest' without judgment, bullying, hunger, politics or environment concerns, 'rest' knowing that they had fulfilled their lives with purpose, joy and love here on this Earth... Aren't they the most important things in life?
But so many people on this world worry so much about (or look forward to) dying and spending their eternal life with God. And they live their lives, that if they don't do good in this world, they will not be granted that opportunity, so they live in 'fear' that they had better always do the right thing, and essentially that means, by living their life as per the Bible, Koran or Torah (which are all written with contradiction). Why is it that people can't live their lives in this world by their own set of moral values, rather than that of a structured religion, and be fulfilled by the good they are creating for the joy they receive in THIS LIFE (not an after life)? Isn't that more important?
And what's this business of 'praying?' Ricky Gervais summed it up in a recent Tweet: "I'll pray for you" = "I want some credit for caring, without actually having to do anything that takes any effort or that actually works." Why pray for others when it is only their own personal belief, strength and courage that will bring them the goodness they seek. It's the power of positive thought... if you look at the good in things, good things will happen for you... If you look at the bad in things, only bad things will happen. BUT ONLY YOU CAN DO THAT FOR YOU! You, as an individual, must strive to do what's right for you, and if tragedy hits, or things don't turn out as planned, then maybe the timing isn't right and the reasons will show clarity in the future. Because in essence, we have to stop focusing on the life we plan for ourselves to make room for the life that is waiting for us. 'Praying' for our own situation is really positive affirmations to ourselves, or if you will 'the God within ourselves'... we are our own God. Our parents are our creators. Praying for others makes absolutely no rational sense at all, except being a form of self-righteous egotism. (I know those who have been brought up with deeply encrusted religious thought will be deeply offended).
So as I wrote in yesterday's post, the one thing that I really learnt from this trip is that I need to trust my own intuition more and stop relying on other's perceptions of what's right, what's good and what's going to happen. We walked the grotty streets of Naples without being approached by the Camorra (Naples mafia) as we were pre-warned, we had a cleansing in the shape of a thunderstorm as we entered Austria, we had the most perfect weather in the United Kingdom, the only hotels we booked with pools in them were the hottest days on our trip, we have had a balanced trip of seeing tourist attractions, seeing small towns, driving on motorways and tiny lanes, meeting people from different places, staying in bed-bug ridden beds and a palatial chateau... we have had a trip of balance, of privilege and purpose. I have the best boys to travel with and I am ever grateful that I have been able to give them the opportunity to be the best Mum I can be for them. But it's ALL because I believe in 'no reward without effort' and I believe in myself and the life I live on this planet.
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