It's 3.58am, 37 hours after we walked into our home. In some ways, as it always is, it's bittersweet... For a long time now, Melbourne hasn't felt like the 'home I want to come back to.' When we were on the train coming back from the airport, I looked at just how disgusting our trains were, remembering how negative I was about the dirt in the Paris Metro, the streets in Rome and Naples (understandably Naples is in a league of its own), but in some ways, the dirt is here too, we just have to look deeper. At least we came home to fairly pollution free air and just the very rare cigarette in sight, the very things that were constantly giving my little one itchy eyes throughout our trip.
My boys and I agree that our favourite places were London, Provence and the alps in Switzerland. You can't beat that crisp clean mountain air. London people are considerate, helpful and easy to be around in the crowds. Provence was relaxing, beautiful, charming, friendly and a gorgeous climate. Whereas, Melbourne people are truly snobs - there is no 'hello' in the streets as you walk by (where in France, you heard 'Bonjour' and saw a sweet smile wherever you went), there's anger on the roads as everyone is eager to get somewhere - didn't have any of that on the 8700kms I drove around Europe even when everyone was in a standstill on a Sunday afternoon on a German autobahn for a good hour, and I truly felt embarrassed walking the 25 minute walk with our luggage up the hill to our home with my boys dragging behind because there was no bus or taxi sitting at the train station to bring us home, and that was the last bit of detail I didn't think about, after we travelled from Brussels to Paris to Beijing to Bangkok to Melbourne in 36 hours... I was embarrassed because I was worried what people would think of me in our tired last hour (and I did bump into two people I know as we walked), but also embarrassed for our public transport system that doesn't have connecting buses so that people can continue their journey with ease, like we experienced so much around Europe.
Whereas in Europe, I didn't care one bit about what people think of me. I was my own person with my beautiful kids, doing what we wanted to do, and people didn't have judgment, only acceptance. Where as there is a certain expectation you have to live up to in Melbourne. I truly did not miss Melbourne... and coming home to a much colder temperature with a broken ducted heating system and a tree fallen blocking most of our walkway to the car isn't much fun either.
What we do like about being home? Our own beds and space, but really, we adjusted well to all the beds we slept in, except for the occasional one with bed bugs. Constant and consistent internet and not needing to worry about overseas charges on my phone. And my boys were worried about being away for so long that their friends would forget them and move onto new friendships, but they have been welcomed back with open arms. When I was overseas, I missed listening to English, but now that I'm here, the Aussie accent isn't doing it for me and I wish I was back in France, or a French speaking country (like Switzerland or Belgium). Oh how much I would love to learn conversational French... might be the next thing on the bucket list to conquer.
I've already ordered some of our favourite French boisson (drink) - Orangina to hopefully be delivered for someone's birthday tomorrow, I've organised Belgian Waffles for his birthday breakfast and a few other little surprises based on our trip as presents for my soon to be 12 year old. But I guess that's what you do when you go on holiday... everything 'there' is always better than home and you just want to embrace it more when it's all not there anymore, and just in the memory bank.
Don't get me wrong, there are some lovely people in Melbourne, once you get to know them, but strangers are less accepting. And unfortunately, that is also the world's perception of Australians. It just takes us awhile for us to let people we don't know into our lives, even if it's just a passing 'hello.' It really is shallow... I just don't know if that's for me, hence the reason why I don't feel like it's 'home' - or the home I want to come home to.
I have friends all over the world, and just knowing that, it's comforting to think that this world is my home... not just a city, a defined point of location. There truly is too much to see and experience in this world to be stuck in one place, hence 'home' to me will always be wherever I feel happy in my own skin.
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