I often say to my kids that people can say all they want in the world to you, but unless they don't back them up with actions, then what they say, doesn't mean diddly-squat. So, I insist that if they are going to say they are going to do something, DO IT!! If you say to someone you are going to be their friend, BE their friend, if you say you love someone, SHOW them that you love them by being affectionate or thinking outside yourself and offering some help, guidance or friendship, if you say you're going to help them move house, DO it in the way they need help, not in the way you THINK they need help. Never backtrack on the words you say...
Life is always a string of disappointments, but once you start hiding from your responsibilities, your friendships or even hiding the reality of who you are because you are fearful of who you've actually become, then those disappointments compound and the people who care for you question the virtues in who you are. If you stay true to yourself, be honest in how you feel, and honour your word, your actions will be felt ten fold by the people in your life to whom you have touched.
Many of my friends who are single mums, see ulterior motives behind their ex-husbands who want to care for their kids. And those same mums go on dates and see the potential in men showing they care, but in reality, they only want to get laid, or worse, need someone to look after them again. Most single men don't care for the needs of their women and kids, they only care for their own needs. They tend to divorce their kids as well as their ex-wives as they feel they have lost their primary carer and don't know how to make the effort to be a responsible parent. Some people would classify them as a narcissist.
I have one friend who's husband tells the world how much he loves and misses his kids, but does he call them, make time to see them, attend their school or sports functions, make them feel special on their birthdays? No. Doesn't do a thing. But then blames his ex-wife for poisoning his kids into thinking horrible things about him. What he doesn't get is, it is HE who is constantly disappointing his kids, not his ex-wife as he doesn't make them a priority in his life.
And the same goes with friendships... if a friend cares about you, loves you and appreciates your friendship, they will do anything to make sure they are ok. I have friends who I know are in the flood-stricken areas of Australia right now, so I check to see if they are ok. Some of these friends are people who just linger in the distance on my Facebook pages, others are some of the best friends I've ever had. But a friend will always be there to say Hi, see how they are, and share with you the highlights, and sometimes lowlights of their life. But when a friend says that they are a 'friend' and your friendship is a little one sided, you wonder why they say one thing, and do another. They are being untruthful to themselves because they can't honour their own word.
So no matter how many people disappoint you, know that the best thing you can ever do is back your words up with your actions. Know that you're doing the right thing, and somehow, people will come into your life who respect you and value your friendship and all the riff-raff will fade away.
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