Sometimes do you wonder why you keep bumping into people? People you've had no real affiliation with, but met sometime in your life and somehow your paths keep crossing?
I have an old high school friend who I keep bumping into at the mall in more recent times, but prior to that, her mum rented a flat above my first flat out of home, her daughter and my boys have crossed paths through holiday programs and for some reason, a radio station called me one morning asking if I knew her and had her contact details, but I was only a Facebook friend with her, so didn't have an email or phone number to contact her. Each time we bump into each other, have a good catch up chat and go on our merry ways. It's nice... but I have no idea why the universe keeps crossing our paths.
With my work, occasionally I'll be asked to do repeat clients' homes, as they are developers, or people who buy, renovate and sell constantly, or investors getting rid of their real estate. But besides seeing them at their properties, I rarely see anyone out and about. However, about two years ago, I met a man who was a police man, who enjoyed the renovating/building thing. He was selling because he was getting divorced. We swapped stories and it was weird, because when I left, he said, whenever I feel like having a chat, his door is always open. I've never taken up that offer (bit late now as I don't know where he lives), but we keep bumping into each other. At the supermarket, him jogging down the street as I walk the boys to school, even I saw him once directing traffic in a side street after a horrific accident on the main road. We'd always stop and chat (except for when he was working, but he acknowledged my wave). The other day, after we went for a swim at the new aquatic centre, I took my youngest to an ice-cream shop as a little treat as his brother was having a sleep over at a friend's house. I'd ordered and paid for our ice-cream, I turned around, and there he was. He ordered his ice-cream and we sat down for 15 minutes having a big chat. Again, we have exchanged no contact details, we just keep bumping into each other.
It's a little bit like the movie 'You've Got Mail' without the secret emailing. You have no idea why these people are infrequently entering your life, but you enjoy their company when they are. Is the universe trying to tell us something? Who knows... it's just one of those things in life that puts a smile on your face.
Thursday, 29 November 2012
Wednesday, 28 November 2012
An Impromptu Night at the Beach
Just because we can... had a beautiful night at the beach with some girlfriends and their boys watching the sunset, eating fish n chips and enjoying a glass of bubbly! An absolute perfect night! :)
This is what it was like when we first turned up around 6.30pm. Nippers was finishing up, so there were many kayaks in the water.
This is where we lay down our towels to enjoy the beach activity. The boys went instantly in the water and said how warm it was.
The girls having a chat with one of the Dad throwing a ball to his son in the background.
The start of the sunset over the pier and the yacht club.
The sunset continues... reflecting into the water in low tide.
The city lights in the background, a paddle-boarder coming off for the night.
We ended up leaving the beach around 9.10pm... it was the most perfect night - still waters, no wind, beautiful sunset, gorgeous company and just a lucky place to live.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
When Trust is Gone and Struggles to Survive
I spoke to a vendor today about the reasons for selling their home. It was a story I could easily relate to. Essentially, there had been an affair between her husband and another lady. Once she found out about the affair, which lasted a little over three years, she did everything in her power to keep her husband. I asked her why? Her trust had been betrayed and her life as she knew it was something that could never be built back to what they had before. I asked her if she could live her life knowing that it could happen again, and essentially she said, it didn't matter, because she was just too scared starting over again, or feeling lonely and she really had no idea how she would survive financially on her own. So she stayed.
They decided to sell their home so that the 'other woman' would not stalk them or know where they live. She literally felt frightened of the potential of this other woman. She didn't want to know her husband's feelings for the other woman, she just wanted her out of his life and would do anything to ensure she would leave them alone. She was extremely hurt, because every time her name came up in conversation, she could see the love in her husband's eyes for this woman, a love he once had for her. She never asked why he decided to stay with her, and not the other woman, but she felt that he was scared of losing the love of his children for betraying the family.
The other woman was making contact with her husband every now and again, and to regain his wife's trust again, her husband told his wife about the contact and that he was ignoring the emails and phone calls, to prove to his wife that he was re-dedicating his energy to her. The more the emails and phone calls came in, the angrier his wife became. I asked her why she was angry, hadn't she already won the battle, making her husband stay with her? She agreed that she had, but felt an overwhelming sense of jealousy, that if this woman kept contacting him, there will be one day that he will break and go back to her. She literally didn't know what to do but fight for her life back.
I asked her if she really felt she had her life back or will ever have her life back? The life she thought she'd always have with him. And she said 'No.' I told her that that was sad, and she deserved better.
She decided to contact the 'other woman' telling her to leave them alone. She thought she would try making her jealous by telling her all the sexual things they do together, that he takes her out to expensive restaurants and buys her exquisite jewellery. She told her about corporate events he took her to, showing her off to his professional fraternity in her beautiful gown and diamonds. She even sent her pictures of them being together. But the other woman didn't care and told her so. The wife thought it was so weird that this woman wasn't interested in his money, wasn't interested in his occupation, wasn't interested in what she was interested in with him.
I told her, that maybe it's a sign of true love. A love that only cares about him as a person - his mind, his body, his spiritualism, his feelings and his love for life, not all the materialism that goes with a good occupation. Maybe that's what he felt was missing in your marriage.
I could see she was thinking about it, thinking how shallow she had been, thinking that maybe that was the reason why he strayed in the first place because he wasn't being loved for 'him' only what he could provide.
I asked her if this move will solve all their problems? She wasn't sure. She wanted to move because she knew the woman had been in the house and that thought just repulsed her. She wanted to spend more time with him, so reducing the mortgage would help in giving them some time back together. So she thought it would be a good thing, and he agreed. I asked her if she knew what she wanted and what she could give her husband to make sure he didn't stray again, and she didn't know, except to spend more time with him. She didn't know if that was the answer, she just wanted to try.
I sensed her loneliness in all of this. She had no friends or family to turn to, as she didn't want her husband's reputation marred within their family or friendships. But I felt that she struggled with learning to trust him again, as every action, every word, every phone call and every email sound would be scrutinised, analysed and consume her, even if this woman doesn't contact him for 6 months, 12 months or 5 years, she will always think that any contact her husband receives outside their marriage could be 'the other woman.' She admitted that it would be something that would eat her up inside for the rest of her married life, but she felt it was worth it, just so she didn't feel scared of looking after herself or feeling lonely. The funny thing is, unless she goes to counselling or a support group, she will always be alone. The one thing she's certain of though, is that all trust is gone, and that's what's the hardest thing to deal with and always will be.
Sometimes, you just have to have a belief in yourself that you are better than this, have the courage to leave because you don't deserve to feel a constant hole in your heart. You need to believe that you deserve to be loved for you, not the family that ties you together. And you need to believe, no matter how long it's been since you have been out of the market, there will be someone more loving towards you and more deserving of your love.
They decided to sell their home so that the 'other woman' would not stalk them or know where they live. She literally felt frightened of the potential of this other woman. She didn't want to know her husband's feelings for the other woman, she just wanted her out of his life and would do anything to ensure she would leave them alone. She was extremely hurt, because every time her name came up in conversation, she could see the love in her husband's eyes for this woman, a love he once had for her. She never asked why he decided to stay with her, and not the other woman, but she felt that he was scared of losing the love of his children for betraying the family.
The other woman was making contact with her husband every now and again, and to regain his wife's trust again, her husband told his wife about the contact and that he was ignoring the emails and phone calls, to prove to his wife that he was re-dedicating his energy to her. The more the emails and phone calls came in, the angrier his wife became. I asked her why she was angry, hadn't she already won the battle, making her husband stay with her? She agreed that she had, but felt an overwhelming sense of jealousy, that if this woman kept contacting him, there will be one day that he will break and go back to her. She literally didn't know what to do but fight for her life back.
I asked her if she really felt she had her life back or will ever have her life back? The life she thought she'd always have with him. And she said 'No.' I told her that that was sad, and she deserved better.
She decided to contact the 'other woman' telling her to leave them alone. She thought she would try making her jealous by telling her all the sexual things they do together, that he takes her out to expensive restaurants and buys her exquisite jewellery. She told her about corporate events he took her to, showing her off to his professional fraternity in her beautiful gown and diamonds. She even sent her pictures of them being together. But the other woman didn't care and told her so. The wife thought it was so weird that this woman wasn't interested in his money, wasn't interested in his occupation, wasn't interested in what she was interested in with him.
I told her, that maybe it's a sign of true love. A love that only cares about him as a person - his mind, his body, his spiritualism, his feelings and his love for life, not all the materialism that goes with a good occupation. Maybe that's what he felt was missing in your marriage.
I could see she was thinking about it, thinking how shallow she had been, thinking that maybe that was the reason why he strayed in the first place because he wasn't being loved for 'him' only what he could provide.
I asked her if this move will solve all their problems? She wasn't sure. She wanted to move because she knew the woman had been in the house and that thought just repulsed her. She wanted to spend more time with him, so reducing the mortgage would help in giving them some time back together. So she thought it would be a good thing, and he agreed. I asked her if she knew what she wanted and what she could give her husband to make sure he didn't stray again, and she didn't know, except to spend more time with him. She didn't know if that was the answer, she just wanted to try.
I sensed her loneliness in all of this. She had no friends or family to turn to, as she didn't want her husband's reputation marred within their family or friendships. But I felt that she struggled with learning to trust him again, as every action, every word, every phone call and every email sound would be scrutinised, analysed and consume her, even if this woman doesn't contact him for 6 months, 12 months or 5 years, she will always think that any contact her husband receives outside their marriage could be 'the other woman.' She admitted that it would be something that would eat her up inside for the rest of her married life, but she felt it was worth it, just so she didn't feel scared of looking after herself or feeling lonely. The funny thing is, unless she goes to counselling or a support group, she will always be alone. The one thing she's certain of though, is that all trust is gone, and that's what's the hardest thing to deal with and always will be.
Sometimes, you just have to have a belief in yourself that you are better than this, have the courage to leave because you don't deserve to feel a constant hole in your heart. You need to believe that you deserve to be loved for you, not the family that ties you together. And you need to believe, no matter how long it's been since you have been out of the market, there will be someone more loving towards you and more deserving of your love.
Perspective...
Today, it's four weeks to Christmas. Four weeks for many people who have no idea what they can afford to buy their children for Christmas, four weeks for many who chose to not pay some of their bills just to see the joy in their children's faces, four weeks for many who could lose their jobs, lose their unemployment benefits, lose a loved one via death, divorce or an unexpected break-up and four weeks of uncertainty.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving, family and good times, after all, that is the spirit of Christmas. But most don't feel that spirit anymore, because they have never had their Christmas wish come true, they have seen it as a time of intense financial pressure and they see it as a time where they have to confront their family who they have tried to avoid for the past 12 months so they don't need to reveal all their hurt and failures in life. It can be a time that is beyond their emotional capacity in coping.
So for us, who can afford to make a difference in someone's life, TODAY is the day to do it. Give from your heart in anyway possible - lend a hand, cook a meal, give someone a job, pay for their petrol, hand over your credit card at the supermarket and pay for their groceries... DO SOMETHING NOW to give them four weeks of hope that this year, Christmas will be OK.
The best thing about giving, is not expecting anything in return. The joy in giving, seeing how much your thoughtfulness has affected the person you're giving to, is enough pleasure in itself, especially if you see the joy first hand. And when it's unexpected from the other party, it's even more rewarding. It doesn't have to be a lot that you give, just something that is thoughtful, something that is needed, something that will ease the burden for that person or family, even if it's for a day, it's something. And that something will give them renewed hope that there is goodness in this world, and they aren't forgotten. If they can renew their belief, then they will somehow believe in themselves a little more, and more goodness will come to them... it's one of the laws of the universe.
So have a little perspective today and think outside yourself, think what other's don't have which is a necessity... a new pair of shoes, a meal to eat, new books for school, a roof over their heads, even some medical attention, do something to make the world a better place, even if it's just helping one person at a time.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving, family and good times, after all, that is the spirit of Christmas. But most don't feel that spirit anymore, because they have never had their Christmas wish come true, they have seen it as a time of intense financial pressure and they see it as a time where they have to confront their family who they have tried to avoid for the past 12 months so they don't need to reveal all their hurt and failures in life. It can be a time that is beyond their emotional capacity in coping.
So for us, who can afford to make a difference in someone's life, TODAY is the day to do it. Give from your heart in anyway possible - lend a hand, cook a meal, give someone a job, pay for their petrol, hand over your credit card at the supermarket and pay for their groceries... DO SOMETHING NOW to give them four weeks of hope that this year, Christmas will be OK.
The best thing about giving, is not expecting anything in return. The joy in giving, seeing how much your thoughtfulness has affected the person you're giving to, is enough pleasure in itself, especially if you see the joy first hand. And when it's unexpected from the other party, it's even more rewarding. It doesn't have to be a lot that you give, just something that is thoughtful, something that is needed, something that will ease the burden for that person or family, even if it's for a day, it's something. And that something will give them renewed hope that there is goodness in this world, and they aren't forgotten. If they can renew their belief, then they will somehow believe in themselves a little more, and more goodness will come to them... it's one of the laws of the universe.
So have a little perspective today and think outside yourself, think what other's don't have which is a necessity... a new pair of shoes, a meal to eat, new books for school, a roof over their heads, even some medical attention, do something to make the world a better place, even if it's just helping one person at a time.
Monday, 26 November 2012
Respect, Support or Judge
It really is a fine line between it all. There are events in a loved one's life that deserves all three. Sometimes you just want to be there for your friends and family, help them through their ordeals, and sometimes you have heard it all before, tired of hearing about it and the judgement card comes out unexpectedly. But I guess, above it all, all you are doing is showing your love and care.
Respect... It's a big word that means so much. You can 'respect' your loved one's decision, you can 'respect' your loved one's positioning - familiar hierarchy, employment hierarchy, political variances, religious stand-point, generational differences, cultural differences and educational level, or you can 'respect' your loved one's desires in life. You may not agree with their choices, but you can respect them.
Support... It's the thing you do when you respect your loved one's decision. You show them, no matter what, you will help them in their life to ensure that they get what they want in life. If it's signing a petition to help a law be passed that's important to them, if it's being there for them when the have their debut in an amateur theatre production, if it's just being a listening ear when they want to off-load or if they choose to have a sex-change because they feel unhappy in their body. Support is what most of your friends want from you when life turns on them.
Judge... The harsh one... The judgement card comes out when you see that your friend or family member is not seeing clearly and doing more damage to themselves than making life better for themselves. You've initially respected their decision, you've supported them through their ordeal, but you see that things just aren't getting better and their happiness is slowly reducing to depression and you just want to whack them on the head and tell them to wake up! Some people don't do the verbal judgement, they do the silent judgement... the judgement that slowly dwindles away the friendship or active involvement in each other's lives.
I know I've been there, and I'm sure in many incidents in my life I have a lot of friends who just want to whack me across the head. I know I've lost many friends over the years because of my decision making. I know two of my closest friends from high school despised my boyfriend (who turned into my husband, and now ex) because I stayed with him, so our friendships ended. They chose to not have me in their lives because of my choices. And I guess that's what happens to all of us.
I heard of one story today about a friend who has been ousted out of this woman's life, not because her friend wanted her out of his life, but because their friendship was seen to be 'high risk' to his family even though their friendship had only ever been platonic. I guess his family saw it as being 'an emotional affair.' He is doing the perceived right thing by his family by not communicating with her anymore. This upsets this woman very much, as she misses the conversations they had, so she emails him once a month just to let him know that she's ok. When they were talking, his main concern was the lack of interest his family had in him, something he voiced subtly in his communication with her, but also defended his family's position more than his own position. She's respected his decision not to communicate with her because she knows how much his family means to him, and she just wants to see him happy in the environment he chooses to stay in. Her emails showed her support in his decision because that's what 'he' wanted. She looked at his Facebook pages to keep him distant but close, and some days she was absolutely appalled about how much he was being ignored, excluded in family events and not even acknowledged as being part of the family. She even saw photos of him being half the man he used to be - unshaven, wearing un-ironed clothes when he used to be so proud of his appearance, looking insipid, exhausted, like he'd put on excess weight and looked emotionally drained. His aura looked destroyed. She was boiling so much inside from what she saw after only 4 months of finishing their friendship, she had to say something... she brought out the judgement card. She told him how the eyes are the windows of the soul and how much sadness was in his eyes, she told him that she couldn't stand that he wasn't being acknowledged by those who love him and she could see the hurt in his face. She could see that he was trying so hard to rebuild the trust in his family's eyes by doing what he could to be there for them, but the hurt was still there.
She felt horrible. Horrible that she too was judging him when for so long she respected and supported all decisions he had made. But what she was now finding, was that her judgement was losing her respect for him. She couldn't believe that someone who claims that their 'happy place' is with his family, could lose so much 'respect' in himself and seriously look like he is going into a deep dark depression because he feels tied to the people he loves through his religious beliefs and marriage vows. What does this woman do? Does she leave him alone, showing him that she no longer cares to see him hurting himself so much? Or does she continue to show her respect and support when it's sits wrong with her, but somehow she feels, if she doesn't send her monthly emails, he would lose a sense of hope and fight in his life for what's important to him? Or is the fact that she's still communicating with him, even though it's rare, his family see it as a betrayal, even though it's something that he can't control? She just felt that he still needed her because most of the time she was encouraging and supporting him, and she was his sign of hope that he's doing the right thing, even though it sat wrong with her.
Frustrating... I know. But sometimes we have to think outside ourselves just to be a friend, and hopefully, one day, your friend will start to value your opinion and have the courage to do something that will actually make a difference in their lives and make them happy.
Respect... It's a big word that means so much. You can 'respect' your loved one's decision, you can 'respect' your loved one's positioning - familiar hierarchy, employment hierarchy, political variances, religious stand-point, generational differences, cultural differences and educational level, or you can 'respect' your loved one's desires in life. You may not agree with their choices, but you can respect them.
Support... It's the thing you do when you respect your loved one's decision. You show them, no matter what, you will help them in their life to ensure that they get what they want in life. If it's signing a petition to help a law be passed that's important to them, if it's being there for them when the have their debut in an amateur theatre production, if it's just being a listening ear when they want to off-load or if they choose to have a sex-change because they feel unhappy in their body. Support is what most of your friends want from you when life turns on them.
Judge... The harsh one... The judgement card comes out when you see that your friend or family member is not seeing clearly and doing more damage to themselves than making life better for themselves. You've initially respected their decision, you've supported them through their ordeal, but you see that things just aren't getting better and their happiness is slowly reducing to depression and you just want to whack them on the head and tell them to wake up! Some people don't do the verbal judgement, they do the silent judgement... the judgement that slowly dwindles away the friendship or active involvement in each other's lives.
I know I've been there, and I'm sure in many incidents in my life I have a lot of friends who just want to whack me across the head. I know I've lost many friends over the years because of my decision making. I know two of my closest friends from high school despised my boyfriend (who turned into my husband, and now ex) because I stayed with him, so our friendships ended. They chose to not have me in their lives because of my choices. And I guess that's what happens to all of us.
I heard of one story today about a friend who has been ousted out of this woman's life, not because her friend wanted her out of his life, but because their friendship was seen to be 'high risk' to his family even though their friendship had only ever been platonic. I guess his family saw it as being 'an emotional affair.' He is doing the perceived right thing by his family by not communicating with her anymore. This upsets this woman very much, as she misses the conversations they had, so she emails him once a month just to let him know that she's ok. When they were talking, his main concern was the lack of interest his family had in him, something he voiced subtly in his communication with her, but also defended his family's position more than his own position. She's respected his decision not to communicate with her because she knows how much his family means to him, and she just wants to see him happy in the environment he chooses to stay in. Her emails showed her support in his decision because that's what 'he' wanted. She looked at his Facebook pages to keep him distant but close, and some days she was absolutely appalled about how much he was being ignored, excluded in family events and not even acknowledged as being part of the family. She even saw photos of him being half the man he used to be - unshaven, wearing un-ironed clothes when he used to be so proud of his appearance, looking insipid, exhausted, like he'd put on excess weight and looked emotionally drained. His aura looked destroyed. She was boiling so much inside from what she saw after only 4 months of finishing their friendship, she had to say something... she brought out the judgement card. She told him how the eyes are the windows of the soul and how much sadness was in his eyes, she told him that she couldn't stand that he wasn't being acknowledged by those who love him and she could see the hurt in his face. She could see that he was trying so hard to rebuild the trust in his family's eyes by doing what he could to be there for them, but the hurt was still there.
She felt horrible. Horrible that she too was judging him when for so long she respected and supported all decisions he had made. But what she was now finding, was that her judgement was losing her respect for him. She couldn't believe that someone who claims that their 'happy place' is with his family, could lose so much 'respect' in himself and seriously look like he is going into a deep dark depression because he feels tied to the people he loves through his religious beliefs and marriage vows. What does this woman do? Does she leave him alone, showing him that she no longer cares to see him hurting himself so much? Or does she continue to show her respect and support when it's sits wrong with her, but somehow she feels, if she doesn't send her monthly emails, he would lose a sense of hope and fight in his life for what's important to him? Or is the fact that she's still communicating with him, even though it's rare, his family see it as a betrayal, even though it's something that he can't control? She just felt that he still needed her because most of the time she was encouraging and supporting him, and she was his sign of hope that he's doing the right thing, even though it sat wrong with her.
Frustrating... I know. But sometimes we have to think outside ourselves just to be a friend, and hopefully, one day, your friend will start to value your opinion and have the courage to do something that will actually make a difference in their lives and make them happy.
Saturday, 24 November 2012
Change...
Why is it so hard for some people to 'change?' I'm not asking for people to change their personalities, or give themselves a drastic physical makeover, but more 'changing with the times.'
For instance, a common frustration many have with our parent's generation is that they are used to rationing, fixing, re-using and maximising the use of things. Most will say that it stems from the war years, when they had to savour every little morsel of food, soap, piece of toilet paper and match because they didn't know when they will be able to get hold of another. I understand, in someways, it's a good habit to get into, as we have become a wasteful society in many many ways, but there are studies now that suggest that holding onto things too long can cause other problems, like food poisoning and harmful bacterial growth causing dermatitis and other ailments, and some of the older generation continue to do things that make us younger generation shake our heads.
How about religion? Many people are brought up on Faith, having God in their lives and learning the moral codes that make them solid citizens of this world and their religious culture. But, with so many people of high religious positioning, taking advantage of their powers to abuse young children, committing adultery (as I mentioned in a previous blog, there's been a study that 23% of religious ministers have committed adultery after they were ordained), steal from the church and their congregation for their own benefits, but also, why are there such a number of religious wars that are crippling societies and why are there a huge number of children living in poverty in both Third World countries and on our own doorsteps? Why aren't there more people questioning God about what is happening in the world? Most are taught that God is a symbol of peace, joy and humanity, however, there is more emphasis on power, materialism and weapons of mass destruction in this world. The religious faithful would argue that because there has become a lack of faith in the last century is the reasoning behind the negativity and greed in this world creating more reason for wars, but how can that be true, when in centuries gone by with less world population, there were still wars, differences of class and distribution of wealth? Why is it, that the church/synagogues/mosques cannot re-write the Bible, Torah or Quran to reflect the changing morals and human rights of today? After all, it is now considered to be against humanity to have slaves, treat women as non-equals and expect women to be fully clothed in public, amongst other things, but these religious doctrines still condone them. No wonder people are confused and are unsure of what to believe.
Our generation, and our children's generation, love the concept of 'new.' We have been thrown the concept of it through media advertisements and shop windows, and we all want to try something new. So trying 'new' things means we are susceptible to change. I know it infuriates my sisters and I (but we've also accepted that it's just 'mum's' way) that our mum buys an expensive dishwasher, then still rinses her dishes before putting them in the dishwasher (because she's convinced that the dishwasher would never do a good enough job on its own). She then uses a tablespoon of dishwasher powder in her dishwasher (when the recommended amount is double that), rather than buy the specialised dishwasher tablets which would save her half the time. It's not like she hasn't the money to buy the tablets, it's just what she knows and what she's used to.
I'm not saying that 'new' is the be all and end all, we do need to be thankful for the things that we have and not expect to have the good life, high life or materialistic life, and the new generation is being taught a lot about recycling, renewable energies and the impact of our actions on the environment, but they are also being taught to 'think,' 'question' and have a 'voice' about what doesn't sit right with them about the morality, politics and right thing is for this world we live in, rather than 'accepting' that you do what you do because you are told. Yes we can all be idealistic and want the best in our own views, but I feel that those born in the last 40 years, the children of the Baby Boomers, are open to changing their views and opinions on what is best for society and their own social stance constantly rather than retaining a morality or holding onto the simple uneducated lives of their parental heroes that have been the strength of the foundation of their childhood.
Change is for the good... change makes us think, change makes us act, change gives us courage. We need changing perspectives to make the world go round, we just need more people to think more analytically and just do it!
For instance, a common frustration many have with our parent's generation is that they are used to rationing, fixing, re-using and maximising the use of things. Most will say that it stems from the war years, when they had to savour every little morsel of food, soap, piece of toilet paper and match because they didn't know when they will be able to get hold of another. I understand, in someways, it's a good habit to get into, as we have become a wasteful society in many many ways, but there are studies now that suggest that holding onto things too long can cause other problems, like food poisoning and harmful bacterial growth causing dermatitis and other ailments, and some of the older generation continue to do things that make us younger generation shake our heads.
How about religion? Many people are brought up on Faith, having God in their lives and learning the moral codes that make them solid citizens of this world and their religious culture. But, with so many people of high religious positioning, taking advantage of their powers to abuse young children, committing adultery (as I mentioned in a previous blog, there's been a study that 23% of religious ministers have committed adultery after they were ordained), steal from the church and their congregation for their own benefits, but also, why are there such a number of religious wars that are crippling societies and why are there a huge number of children living in poverty in both Third World countries and on our own doorsteps? Why aren't there more people questioning God about what is happening in the world? Most are taught that God is a symbol of peace, joy and humanity, however, there is more emphasis on power, materialism and weapons of mass destruction in this world. The religious faithful would argue that because there has become a lack of faith in the last century is the reasoning behind the negativity and greed in this world creating more reason for wars, but how can that be true, when in centuries gone by with less world population, there were still wars, differences of class and distribution of wealth? Why is it, that the church/synagogues/mosques cannot re-write the Bible, Torah or Quran to reflect the changing morals and human rights of today? After all, it is now considered to be against humanity to have slaves, treat women as non-equals and expect women to be fully clothed in public, amongst other things, but these religious doctrines still condone them. No wonder people are confused and are unsure of what to believe.
Our generation, and our children's generation, love the concept of 'new.' We have been thrown the concept of it through media advertisements and shop windows, and we all want to try something new. So trying 'new' things means we are susceptible to change. I know it infuriates my sisters and I (but we've also accepted that it's just 'mum's' way) that our mum buys an expensive dishwasher, then still rinses her dishes before putting them in the dishwasher (because she's convinced that the dishwasher would never do a good enough job on its own). She then uses a tablespoon of dishwasher powder in her dishwasher (when the recommended amount is double that), rather than buy the specialised dishwasher tablets which would save her half the time. It's not like she hasn't the money to buy the tablets, it's just what she knows and what she's used to.
I'm not saying that 'new' is the be all and end all, we do need to be thankful for the things that we have and not expect to have the good life, high life or materialistic life, and the new generation is being taught a lot about recycling, renewable energies and the impact of our actions on the environment, but they are also being taught to 'think,' 'question' and have a 'voice' about what doesn't sit right with them about the morality, politics and right thing is for this world we live in, rather than 'accepting' that you do what you do because you are told. Yes we can all be idealistic and want the best in our own views, but I feel that those born in the last 40 years, the children of the Baby Boomers, are open to changing their views and opinions on what is best for society and their own social stance constantly rather than retaining a morality or holding onto the simple uneducated lives of their parental heroes that have been the strength of the foundation of their childhood.
Change is for the good... change makes us think, change makes us act, change gives us courage. We need changing perspectives to make the world go round, we just need more people to think more analytically and just do it!
Friday, 23 November 2012
On the Ebay Wagon!
It's that time of year to get rid of the old and prepare for the new. Someone else's trash is someone else's treasure, and if you can make some extra dollars for Christmas by selling some unwanted wares, why not? Who knows, you could actually make enough to pay for all your Christmas presents!
This year, my boys have decided that they do not want their Nintendo DS consoles anymore, as I have replaced them with iPads. So, today I've listed all their consoles and games (actually, I haven't done all yet, but they should be all on before the end of the day!) I've also found a pair of ski-gloves that have been worn once as well, so they will get on there as well.
The great thing about Ebay at the moment (well it is here in Australia, not sure about the rest of the world), but the first 30 items you list each month are free. Yes, there is a small selling fee, but if things don't sell, you don't pay a cent for it. I guess they are competing with gumtree.com, craiglist.com and other free-trading websites, plus all the car boot sales, garage sales and other second-hand get-rich-quick schemes that people tend to make a few dollars.
And really, why not? If you get your children into the concept of selling their pre-loved toys early enough after they have decided that they no longer use or play with them, then you create a child who respects their toys because they know that if they look after their toys, they are sellable in the future, and the money that can be made out of them can either be used for new toys or put into their bank account. It makes them think ahead. It makes them keep all the pieces together. It makes them appreciate what they have. AND it gets rid of clutter that hangs over your head.
Single parents need all the help they can at Christmas time, as the added pressures of a large feast, presents for nieces and nephews, grandparents and those who've helped you throughout the year really do kill the budget. For me, my work slows down, so whatever work I managed to do through October/November, I usually don't get paid until December/January for, then I really don't get paid much again until April. So it's a tight ship for a few months (and always when school fees are due, sports fees are due and tax is due!!). So Ebay has been a huge saviour for me. Last year, I think I turned over about 2-3 weeks wages in unwanted goods, which makes Christmas a more enjoyable time for all.
I know it's takes up a bit of time, but once you start, it does become a little addictive and you can't stop. And, in the end, you'll be so pleased with how much you've been able to get rid of, and how much money you've made.
This year, my boys have decided that they do not want their Nintendo DS consoles anymore, as I have replaced them with iPads. So, today I've listed all their consoles and games (actually, I haven't done all yet, but they should be all on before the end of the day!) I've also found a pair of ski-gloves that have been worn once as well, so they will get on there as well.
The great thing about Ebay at the moment (well it is here in Australia, not sure about the rest of the world), but the first 30 items you list each month are free. Yes, there is a small selling fee, but if things don't sell, you don't pay a cent for it. I guess they are competing with gumtree.com, craiglist.com and other free-trading websites, plus all the car boot sales, garage sales and other second-hand get-rich-quick schemes that people tend to make a few dollars.
And really, why not? If you get your children into the concept of selling their pre-loved toys early enough after they have decided that they no longer use or play with them, then you create a child who respects their toys because they know that if they look after their toys, they are sellable in the future, and the money that can be made out of them can either be used for new toys or put into their bank account. It makes them think ahead. It makes them keep all the pieces together. It makes them appreciate what they have. AND it gets rid of clutter that hangs over your head.
Single parents need all the help they can at Christmas time, as the added pressures of a large feast, presents for nieces and nephews, grandparents and those who've helped you throughout the year really do kill the budget. For me, my work slows down, so whatever work I managed to do through October/November, I usually don't get paid until December/January for, then I really don't get paid much again until April. So it's a tight ship for a few months (and always when school fees are due, sports fees are due and tax is due!!). So Ebay has been a huge saviour for me. Last year, I think I turned over about 2-3 weeks wages in unwanted goods, which makes Christmas a more enjoyable time for all.
I know it's takes up a bit of time, but once you start, it does become a little addictive and you can't stop. And, in the end, you'll be so pleased with how much you've been able to get rid of, and how much money you've made.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
The Struggle to Find Honesty
Recently, I had someone say 'Hello' to me from my Twitter account. I had no idea who he was, but he advertised himself as a divorced 40 year old, in a professional career, with a son similar age to my boys, who loves to play golf, surf and lives in the States. He had an attractive pic of himself, in a slightly posed shot. He looked sweet... but I was a little sceptical in announcing so much about himself on his intro line on a Twitter account. After all, Twitter isn't a dating website.
Anyway, we had a bit of a conversation... firstly through Twitter. I asked him, possibly two or three questions into our conversation, 'What do I owe the pleasure of your company?' It didn't get a response. He told me more about his son. I asked him why he was 'up' as I'm very familiar with the time zones in the US, and he said it was 10am where he was, and he told me he was working on a project in Africa and would be back in the US soon. He said he had his son in boarding school as he was away from home a lot, and wanted to protect his son from his drug-using ex-wife/mother of his son. We took the conversation to Yahoo Messenger, and we text chatted. As I understand his profession, as it's in a similar field to what I work in, I asked him questions like 'what stage of his project is he at?,' I asked him about his son and what he was into... and even re-instated why I have the pleasure of his company? Again, all the questions were left unanswered. Of course, he asked me questions too, like what type of food I like, what type of music, where have I travelled to, what type of animals are in Australia, what my boys were into... really basic things. He didn't ask me what my profession was, where I lived in Australia (beach, country, city), things that if you were keen on someone, you'd think would be asked.
Anyway, he eventually gave me his full name and I asked him if he was on Facebook so we could be Facebook friends. He said he was, but rarely went on it. Which is a fair comment. However, as he wasn't answering my questions, questions that were innocent enough to have an honest answer to, I decided to do a little Google searching on him. I looked up his name first, and there was only one of his spelling who was in another profession in the UK. I had a look on websites like Spokeo, Pipl, and there were only 2 others in the US in States that weren't even close to where he said he lived.
About an hour into our conversation, I confronted him. I asked him why he was avoiding my questions. I stayed online for about half an hour, and I didn't get a response. So I signed out and forgot about him.
Three days later, I get an email through Twitter asking if I'm OK and why I haven't been 'online.' I ignored it. Earlier this week, I get a couple more emails, asking me if anything is wrong, if I'm OK... AND I get an anonymous blog comment on my website saying 'haven't heard from you in days, hope you're OK.' Why would he send it as an 'anonymous' person? I decided to write back, to give him one more chance, saying he needed to prove to me that he was real, as he left many of my questions unanswered, and I gave him all the unanswered questions again.
He wrote back, saying he was prepared to give me everything to prove to me who he is - his boss's email address, his son's email address and his cell number (that just happened to be from Nigeria) - things I didn't ask for, and AGAIN, he didn't answer the questions I asked. Are guys really that dumb or do they hide behind only what they want to tell you?
He also said that he had no reason to doubt me, and wonders why I'm doubting him so much. And I told him, that I showed him real photos of my boys with Australian animals, and a pic of the three of us... that that gives me integrity AND he had seen my blog, so that tells you that I'm real. His Facebook account had no photos and only secret friends, and his favourite movie was Hannah Montana! Hello! For a 40 year old man with a elementary aged school son, why would they be into Hannah Montana? A lot of things just didn't make sense.
He blamed things like his ex-wife was a bit of a stalker so he keeps quite a private life, especially on the internet, but to me, that's no excuse for not being upfront with me in private conversations.
I just don't know... if you are attracted to someone, want to start a friendship with someone, why wouldn't you begin the friendship with honesty? There was no sexual things going on with him, it was all platonic, but I do know the lengths that some mean go to to tug on a girl's heartstrings. For someone who has quite attractive photos of himself, is available, in a great profession and shows that he is a loving caring father, you wonder why he's still available, if all he says about himself is true? So for me, it's all the little things he doesn't say about himself that tell me he's not as good as makes out for us to believe.
The more he tried to convince me that he was genuine with things I didn't ask for, like saying he had two properties in the US (like I care about materialistic things), the more I criticised that he didn't do the simplest things I asked of him - answer the questions I ask, or I won't believe you. I even asked him why it was so important to him that I'm in his life? He then said I was being too judgemental and that he was tired of proving himself to me. The only thing he proved to me was that he couldn't answer a simple question, or he knew how to avoid the questions he didn't want to answer.
So I've left it... he could be a Nigerian scam artist for all I know, trying to lure me into a web of handing over money. His email address was dodgy too... I won't say it, but he had his first name in it, then had ******stalkn2ya@yahoo.com... doesn't that look like he's 'stalking you?' Things just didn't add up.
Anyway, for anyone who wants something to do with me, honesty is the key to any relationship or friendship with me, as I believe it is for most women. I really don't know why men feel they have to be someone they aren't, when women are genuinely prepared to like them for just the person they are.
Anyway, we had a bit of a conversation... firstly through Twitter. I asked him, possibly two or three questions into our conversation, 'What do I owe the pleasure of your company?' It didn't get a response. He told me more about his son. I asked him why he was 'up' as I'm very familiar with the time zones in the US, and he said it was 10am where he was, and he told me he was working on a project in Africa and would be back in the US soon. He said he had his son in boarding school as he was away from home a lot, and wanted to protect his son from his drug-using ex-wife/mother of his son. We took the conversation to Yahoo Messenger, and we text chatted. As I understand his profession, as it's in a similar field to what I work in, I asked him questions like 'what stage of his project is he at?,' I asked him about his son and what he was into... and even re-instated why I have the pleasure of his company? Again, all the questions were left unanswered. Of course, he asked me questions too, like what type of food I like, what type of music, where have I travelled to, what type of animals are in Australia, what my boys were into... really basic things. He didn't ask me what my profession was, where I lived in Australia (beach, country, city), things that if you were keen on someone, you'd think would be asked.
Anyway, he eventually gave me his full name and I asked him if he was on Facebook so we could be Facebook friends. He said he was, but rarely went on it. Which is a fair comment. However, as he wasn't answering my questions, questions that were innocent enough to have an honest answer to, I decided to do a little Google searching on him. I looked up his name first, and there was only one of his spelling who was in another profession in the UK. I had a look on websites like Spokeo, Pipl, and there were only 2 others in the US in States that weren't even close to where he said he lived.
About an hour into our conversation, I confronted him. I asked him why he was avoiding my questions. I stayed online for about half an hour, and I didn't get a response. So I signed out and forgot about him.
Three days later, I get an email through Twitter asking if I'm OK and why I haven't been 'online.' I ignored it. Earlier this week, I get a couple more emails, asking me if anything is wrong, if I'm OK... AND I get an anonymous blog comment on my website saying 'haven't heard from you in days, hope you're OK.' Why would he send it as an 'anonymous' person? I decided to write back, to give him one more chance, saying he needed to prove to me that he was real, as he left many of my questions unanswered, and I gave him all the unanswered questions again.
He wrote back, saying he was prepared to give me everything to prove to me who he is - his boss's email address, his son's email address and his cell number (that just happened to be from Nigeria) - things I didn't ask for, and AGAIN, he didn't answer the questions I asked. Are guys really that dumb or do they hide behind only what they want to tell you?
He also said that he had no reason to doubt me, and wonders why I'm doubting him so much. And I told him, that I showed him real photos of my boys with Australian animals, and a pic of the three of us... that that gives me integrity AND he had seen my blog, so that tells you that I'm real. His Facebook account had no photos and only secret friends, and his favourite movie was Hannah Montana! Hello! For a 40 year old man with a elementary aged school son, why would they be into Hannah Montana? A lot of things just didn't make sense.
He blamed things like his ex-wife was a bit of a stalker so he keeps quite a private life, especially on the internet, but to me, that's no excuse for not being upfront with me in private conversations.
I just don't know... if you are attracted to someone, want to start a friendship with someone, why wouldn't you begin the friendship with honesty? There was no sexual things going on with him, it was all platonic, but I do know the lengths that some mean go to to tug on a girl's heartstrings. For someone who has quite attractive photos of himself, is available, in a great profession and shows that he is a loving caring father, you wonder why he's still available, if all he says about himself is true? So for me, it's all the little things he doesn't say about himself that tell me he's not as good as makes out for us to believe.
The more he tried to convince me that he was genuine with things I didn't ask for, like saying he had two properties in the US (like I care about materialistic things), the more I criticised that he didn't do the simplest things I asked of him - answer the questions I ask, or I won't believe you. I even asked him why it was so important to him that I'm in his life? He then said I was being too judgemental and that he was tired of proving himself to me. The only thing he proved to me was that he couldn't answer a simple question, or he knew how to avoid the questions he didn't want to answer.
So I've left it... he could be a Nigerian scam artist for all I know, trying to lure me into a web of handing over money. His email address was dodgy too... I won't say it, but he had his first name in it, then had ******stalkn2ya@yahoo.com... doesn't that look like he's 'stalking you?' Things just didn't add up.
Anyway, for anyone who wants something to do with me, honesty is the key to any relationship or friendship with me, as I believe it is for most women. I really don't know why men feel they have to be someone they aren't, when women are genuinely prepared to like them for just the person they are.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Can someone be too giving?
If you value a friendship, a working relationship or a family member, can you be too giving?
As friendships go, if you remember every little incident in your friend's lives that they tell you - that they were seeing a specialist for something in two weeks time, that their husband was finding out about a promotion, that their daughter was graduating or they were going away on a holiday and you wanted to wish them safe travels, can your thoughts and cares going out to your friend be misconstrued as 'stalking,' obsessive or too overwhelming to them? Or is it your friend who has the problem when they get offended because you are putting more effort into your friendship than they do with you and is not as accepting of your well wishes, thoughts and prayers? Are they the ones with their own personal struggle that they can't reciprocate the friendship as much as they want to or that they realise that they themselves just aren't as giving to you, so it sits badly on them because they always thought they were a giving person, until they met you, and felt that your giving of yourself was beyond anything they could match?
It was recognised in my 9 year old recently, that maybe he 'buys' his friendships at school, because he constantly wants to bring a rubber ball, Bey Blades or a special toy to school so people will interact with him, or he can be 'in charge' of the game that everyone wants to play with him. He actually brought a toy to school where one of his best friends asked if he could take it home to show his mum. He was a little worried that he wouldn't get it back, but luckily I am good friends with his mum, and she's the kind of person who would tell her son to give it back, which he did thankfully. But it does make you realise that some people just take advantage of those with a good heart and leave 'the giver' disappointed.
But I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in this instance. I've always gone out of my way to buy something special for my loved one that's specifically for them as a birthday or Christmas gift with very little thought ever being reciprocated. In recent years, I've been so disappointed with the lack of understanding of my self-sacrifices, that I haven't been true to myself (which also eats away inside of me), unless they are people who have really touched me. So it makes me think, are we givers in a way that we give to those who we believe are special to us, and are essentially buying their love? Are we buying their love by sacrificing our own time, money or lives by giving them as much of ourselves as possible to them, not wanting anything physically in return except acceptance and hopefully love?
I guess it all comes down to what you personally value. If you value a friendship, working relationship or family member, you give what you can of yourself to be there for them in any way possible. If you don't value them, then you don't make life easier or nicer for them... it's that plain and simple. Value, is the same as respect, love, honour and cherish... and many people abuse the love others have for them, especially children with parents, because it's expected that they will always be there for them. It's when they aren't there anymore, that they realise that they should have been more appreciative.
I find with my work, I shouldn't, but I do, I tend to put my work above my boys, on the basis that if I lose a client, can't be at an appointment or write substandard copy, then I risk losing that client, which could mean losing $8000-$25,000 a year. And it can also ruin my reputation, as most the clients I work with are integrated. So I can't afford not to be there for my clients and get the work done by the deadline. However, if my child is sick, hurt at school or needing immediate attention, then I will be there for them and sacrifice sleep, food or social activities to tend to their needs, as my kids have no one else. Do I get anything in return from my clients for always being there for them? No, not really, except a regular (sometimes semi-regular) pay check each month that is vendor paid. Occasionally, I'm invited to a corporate movie night, Christmas drinks in the pub, some movie tickets, or a corporate Christmas hamper as a thank you, which is very much appreciated, but I definitely don't do the work for the gifts.
As for family members or school parent friends, I struggle to be giving of my time, because my time is dedicated to my boys and my work, and I struggle to take up offers of help because I can't reciprocate. If I can't reciprocate but someone insists on helping me, I generally buy a gift of appreciation - flowers, movie tickets, chocolates - something that they wouldn't expect, but I want them to know that I value the efforts they have made to make my life easier, and I am truly humbled by what they have done for me.
So, can people be too giving or too generous? I don't think so... I think with such busy lives these days and the emphasis on materialism, society forgets about just standing back and appreciating all those who are giving in our lives, and forget to receive with grace and acceptance; and what tends to happen to those who are givers, is that they are forgotten because it is accepted by those around them that they are exceptionally caring people and the 'receivers' in this world just walk all over them. Givers are people who need to feel appreciated for their time and effort too. We need more givers in our world, more people who are prepared to open their hearts and help. And if we all have a bigger spirit in giving rather than receiving, maybe this world might just be a better place to live and be more at peace.
Happy Thanksgiving to our American friends.
As friendships go, if you remember every little incident in your friend's lives that they tell you - that they were seeing a specialist for something in two weeks time, that their husband was finding out about a promotion, that their daughter was graduating or they were going away on a holiday and you wanted to wish them safe travels, can your thoughts and cares going out to your friend be misconstrued as 'stalking,' obsessive or too overwhelming to them? Or is it your friend who has the problem when they get offended because you are putting more effort into your friendship than they do with you and is not as accepting of your well wishes, thoughts and prayers? Are they the ones with their own personal struggle that they can't reciprocate the friendship as much as they want to or that they realise that they themselves just aren't as giving to you, so it sits badly on them because they always thought they were a giving person, until they met you, and felt that your giving of yourself was beyond anything they could match?
It was recognised in my 9 year old recently, that maybe he 'buys' his friendships at school, because he constantly wants to bring a rubber ball, Bey Blades or a special toy to school so people will interact with him, or he can be 'in charge' of the game that everyone wants to play with him. He actually brought a toy to school where one of his best friends asked if he could take it home to show his mum. He was a little worried that he wouldn't get it back, but luckily I am good friends with his mum, and she's the kind of person who would tell her son to give it back, which he did thankfully. But it does make you realise that some people just take advantage of those with a good heart and leave 'the giver' disappointed.
But I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in this instance. I've always gone out of my way to buy something special for my loved one that's specifically for them as a birthday or Christmas gift with very little thought ever being reciprocated. In recent years, I've been so disappointed with the lack of understanding of my self-sacrifices, that I haven't been true to myself (which also eats away inside of me), unless they are people who have really touched me. So it makes me think, are we givers in a way that we give to those who we believe are special to us, and are essentially buying their love? Are we buying their love by sacrificing our own time, money or lives by giving them as much of ourselves as possible to them, not wanting anything physically in return except acceptance and hopefully love?
I guess it all comes down to what you personally value. If you value a friendship, working relationship or family member, you give what you can of yourself to be there for them in any way possible. If you don't value them, then you don't make life easier or nicer for them... it's that plain and simple. Value, is the same as respect, love, honour and cherish... and many people abuse the love others have for them, especially children with parents, because it's expected that they will always be there for them. It's when they aren't there anymore, that they realise that they should have been more appreciative.
I find with my work, I shouldn't, but I do, I tend to put my work above my boys, on the basis that if I lose a client, can't be at an appointment or write substandard copy, then I risk losing that client, which could mean losing $8000-$25,000 a year. And it can also ruin my reputation, as most the clients I work with are integrated. So I can't afford not to be there for my clients and get the work done by the deadline. However, if my child is sick, hurt at school or needing immediate attention, then I will be there for them and sacrifice sleep, food or social activities to tend to their needs, as my kids have no one else. Do I get anything in return from my clients for always being there for them? No, not really, except a regular (sometimes semi-regular) pay check each month that is vendor paid. Occasionally, I'm invited to a corporate movie night, Christmas drinks in the pub, some movie tickets, or a corporate Christmas hamper as a thank you, which is very much appreciated, but I definitely don't do the work for the gifts.
As for family members or school parent friends, I struggle to be giving of my time, because my time is dedicated to my boys and my work, and I struggle to take up offers of help because I can't reciprocate. If I can't reciprocate but someone insists on helping me, I generally buy a gift of appreciation - flowers, movie tickets, chocolates - something that they wouldn't expect, but I want them to know that I value the efforts they have made to make my life easier, and I am truly humbled by what they have done for me.
So, can people be too giving or too generous? I don't think so... I think with such busy lives these days and the emphasis on materialism, society forgets about just standing back and appreciating all those who are giving in our lives, and forget to receive with grace and acceptance; and what tends to happen to those who are givers, is that they are forgotten because it is accepted by those around them that they are exceptionally caring people and the 'receivers' in this world just walk all over them. Givers are people who need to feel appreciated for their time and effort too. We need more givers in our world, more people who are prepared to open their hearts and help. And if we all have a bigger spirit in giving rather than receiving, maybe this world might just be a better place to live and be more at peace.
Happy Thanksgiving to our American friends.
Tuesday, 20 November 2012
Celebrations and commiserations
Yesterday I turned 39 and I said to myself at the start of the day, I wouldn't let anyone get me down. It was my birthday, and if I'm special to those who make the effort, they are the people who mean the most to me. As a single mum, and most single mums will feel this heartache, your birthday is the day that you really want people to recognise you because every other day feels like a thankless grind of unappreciative kids, mundane chores and squeezing in a day's work between trips to the doctors, after school sports and quick stops to the grocery store. And if you don't have that special someone to spoil you, you have to do the spoiling yourself.
I did everything I could to enjoy my day. The boys and I took our bikes and rode to the Village to have breakfast alfresco style watching the train commuters rushing off to work. I indulged in French toast with banana and bacon, with a strawberry/banana smoothie, while the boys had a combination of poached eggs and pancakes between them. After I rode to school with the boys, I went a spoiled myself with a therapeutic massage finishing off with a little bit of retail therapy, which was more of a waste of time, because I just can't stand the 80s colours that line the shop floors. I then had a beautiful lunch with a girlfriend of tapas and calamari Asian style salad, a couple of glasses of sparkling and two hours of light conversation and laughter before picking up the boys from school and riding home with them. Somehow, after my two glasses of sparkling, I felt like an afternoon kip, and slept for about an hour and a half, before I took the boys out for Mexican watching the sun set over the bay. My day was interwoven with phone calls, text messages and Facebook love, some from a few surprises, others who you'd expect to say something, didn't... But that's OK, because I refuse to focus my energy on those who don't feel I'm deserving, but do to those who believe I am.
My girlfriend who I went to lunch with, had her birthday a month ago, and she loved that her birthday extended into a week of celebrations. I guess my birthday started on Sunday with lunch out with my parents, and I have a friend taking me out to dinner next Wednesday, so it will be an elongated 10 day event. I know people's lives are busy, because you know how busy your life is, and really, that's OK. But it does make you think, have you done something to offend someone this year, or did you not make the effort to be a friend when your friend needed you the most, or have you been a little bit self-absorbed because there has been way too much going on in your life to concern yourself with other's dilemmas and friends have felt your neglect? Who knows... but this is a public apology to all those who I haven't been there at all the times when they needed a friend.
I know my blog has offended people who are close to me in the past because no matter who they are, they all think that I'm writing about them, and in most cases, I'm not, they are general statements. So I've learnt now, not to tell new friends or acquaintances about my blog so I can keep the harmony.
So I thank those from the depths of my hearts who have chosen to celebrate my birthday with me - even if it was just a phone call, a message or a glass of bubbly, it touched me that I mean so much to you for you to remember (or made the effort from seeing that my birthday was posted on Facebook ;) ). I look forward to 39 being a year of positivity, new adventures, beautiful friends, fabulous working relationships, seeing my boys be happy and hopefully a book deal before I'm 40. Not long now, but I'm determined to make it happen! :)
I did everything I could to enjoy my day. The boys and I took our bikes and rode to the Village to have breakfast alfresco style watching the train commuters rushing off to work. I indulged in French toast with banana and bacon, with a strawberry/banana smoothie, while the boys had a combination of poached eggs and pancakes between them. After I rode to school with the boys, I went a spoiled myself with a therapeutic massage finishing off with a little bit of retail therapy, which was more of a waste of time, because I just can't stand the 80s colours that line the shop floors. I then had a beautiful lunch with a girlfriend of tapas and calamari Asian style salad, a couple of glasses of sparkling and two hours of light conversation and laughter before picking up the boys from school and riding home with them. Somehow, after my two glasses of sparkling, I felt like an afternoon kip, and slept for about an hour and a half, before I took the boys out for Mexican watching the sun set over the bay. My day was interwoven with phone calls, text messages and Facebook love, some from a few surprises, others who you'd expect to say something, didn't... But that's OK, because I refuse to focus my energy on those who don't feel I'm deserving, but do to those who believe I am.
My girlfriend who I went to lunch with, had her birthday a month ago, and she loved that her birthday extended into a week of celebrations. I guess my birthday started on Sunday with lunch out with my parents, and I have a friend taking me out to dinner next Wednesday, so it will be an elongated 10 day event. I know people's lives are busy, because you know how busy your life is, and really, that's OK. But it does make you think, have you done something to offend someone this year, or did you not make the effort to be a friend when your friend needed you the most, or have you been a little bit self-absorbed because there has been way too much going on in your life to concern yourself with other's dilemmas and friends have felt your neglect? Who knows... but this is a public apology to all those who I haven't been there at all the times when they needed a friend.
I know my blog has offended people who are close to me in the past because no matter who they are, they all think that I'm writing about them, and in most cases, I'm not, they are general statements. So I've learnt now, not to tell new friends or acquaintances about my blog so I can keep the harmony.
So I thank those from the depths of my hearts who have chosen to celebrate my birthday with me - even if it was just a phone call, a message or a glass of bubbly, it touched me that I mean so much to you for you to remember (or made the effort from seeing that my birthday was posted on Facebook ;) ). I look forward to 39 being a year of positivity, new adventures, beautiful friends, fabulous working relationships, seeing my boys be happy and hopefully a book deal before I'm 40. Not long now, but I'm determined to make it happen! :)
Monday, 19 November 2012
For all the beautiful people...
...who've touched my life. I just want to say 'Thank You.' There are many days that are extremely hard being a single mother 100% of the time, working stupid hours to essentially keep my clients happy to ultimately ensure I retain repeat business and maintain a certain lifestyle for my boys, having to deal with the ups and downs of raising children especially one who has learning difficulties, keeping up with paying the bills and dealing with a narcissistic ex who causes more pain than what is necessary to my boys.
But it's all the beautiful people in my life that give me the strength to carry on... I have friends in Sydney, the Gold Coast and two just up the street who have been there in the most incredible way for me over the last couple of days. I had a complete stranger at a property I went to this morning, greet me with a hug and a kiss as I walked in her door today and we both just needed a chat. I have clients who keep me smiling with their real estate antics and take my mind off all the things that make me upset... and they generally make me upset because it's a lonely job being a single parent, and all those married people who have had their families intact throughout their lives really have no idea what it's like, day in day out.
But I also thank all those who put my life into perspective... like the man who had to cancel his appointment with me for the second time in a week, because he was too sick from his chemotherapy drugs to answer the door. And the developer who lost $400,000 off a development project due to the market turning, when I whinge about losing $100,000 last year off my last real estate transaction. My life ain't that bad in the whole scheme of things... I have my health, my children, my business, a roof over my head, no debt, my dreams and many people who care about me all over the world, even if they have a quirky way of showing it, and I have a quirky way of appreciating it, I do have them, and that's a whole lot more than millions of others in this world.
Thank you to the friend who made me realise that old age does strange things to your loved ones. Thank you to the friend who sent me a surprise pre-birthday message and promised to call me tomorrow. Thank you to the friend who said she'll take me to lunch tomorrow so I'm not alone. Thank you to my boys for being the best brothers they could be to each other... and the most loving sons a mum could ask for. Thank you to my most beautiful friend for letting me let off my steam and shed my tears without any judgement and only praise for who I am.
I am so lucky to have so many beautiful, caring, loving people in my life... I am truly grateful... Thank you all for being there... xx
But it's all the beautiful people in my life that give me the strength to carry on... I have friends in Sydney, the Gold Coast and two just up the street who have been there in the most incredible way for me over the last couple of days. I had a complete stranger at a property I went to this morning, greet me with a hug and a kiss as I walked in her door today and we both just needed a chat. I have clients who keep me smiling with their real estate antics and take my mind off all the things that make me upset... and they generally make me upset because it's a lonely job being a single parent, and all those married people who have had their families intact throughout their lives really have no idea what it's like, day in day out.
But I also thank all those who put my life into perspective... like the man who had to cancel his appointment with me for the second time in a week, because he was too sick from his chemotherapy drugs to answer the door. And the developer who lost $400,000 off a development project due to the market turning, when I whinge about losing $100,000 last year off my last real estate transaction. My life ain't that bad in the whole scheme of things... I have my health, my children, my business, a roof over my head, no debt, my dreams and many people who care about me all over the world, even if they have a quirky way of showing it, and I have a quirky way of appreciating it, I do have them, and that's a whole lot more than millions of others in this world.
Thank you to the friend who made me realise that old age does strange things to your loved ones. Thank you to the friend who sent me a surprise pre-birthday message and promised to call me tomorrow. Thank you to the friend who said she'll take me to lunch tomorrow so I'm not alone. Thank you to my boys for being the best brothers they could be to each other... and the most loving sons a mum could ask for. Thank you to my most beautiful friend for letting me let off my steam and shed my tears without any judgement and only praise for who I am.
I am so lucky to have so many beautiful, caring, loving people in my life... I am truly grateful... Thank you all for being there... xx
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
Friends and Lovers
Since the advent of Facebook, Google searches and other social media, people have tried to rekindle friendships from another era. They could be friends, they could be lovers, they could be work colleagues, they could be inspirational teachers... whoever they are, they are people who have touched our lives in someway. Once we find them and connect with them, either through Facebook, email or even in person, we love the fact that we have found them and that in a small way, we have them back in our lives. It doesn't mean we want to rekindle a romance, it doesn't mean we want to be best friends again, we are just happy that we know that they are OK and have succeeded in their life... well succeeded in their life to the point that they have 'put themselves out there' in the internet world to be found.
So when someone, usually someone who says they love you, restricts those who you maintain contact with, in fear of you rekindling a relationship or starting something that they feared may have happened then but the timing wasn't right, what do you do? Do you tell them that no one, under any circumstances, will tell you who you can be friends with and who you can't? Do you try to appease them and say that you don't have feelings for that person anymore? Do you obey their every order? Really, with so many people having hundreds of friends on their Facebook account, how many people, from your high school days, your college days, your pre-married days, your post-married days and possibly your married days, have you kissed, had a crush on or had sex with? It would be fair to say, that on my current Facebook account, there are 11 guys there who, over the years (including my primary school crushes!) that I have had a romantic fondness for, kissed, gone to 3rd base with or had sex with. (with most being crushes!). And I would say my list is ultra conservative. And I know there are guys on my list who aren't included in that 11, who had crushes on me. So for one person to say to me that I cannot have any contact with someone because I have had 'feelings' for that person somewhere in my 38 (almost 39) years, it's just preposterous!
I can tell you now, that those 11 guys on my list live all over the world, are happily married and some are single but either they have no interest or I don't (mostly I don't!). But it doesn't stop me from being friends with them from a distance via Facebook.
So why do partners get exceedingly jealous if they see past lovers on their spouse's Facebook account? What is wrong with that? Are they so insecure in their own relationship that they couldn't comprehend allowing their partner to even have a friendship by social media distance? To me, it is utterly sad that someone could be so controlling over someone else's life to stop them having some harmless reconnecting and trips down memory lane. And most the time, most your friends on Facebook don't even interact with you on a one-on-one level... it's just a 'like' here or a 'birthday wish' there.
Personally for me, it would be a deal breaker. It would show that there is no trust in our relationship, no care for our own feelings and no respect for our choices. I would not apologise to anyone for having someone in my life because, no matter what, that person touched my life in either a small way or big way, and they mean something to me. If my partner, spouse or even child disapproved of who I keep company with, it's their problem not mine, and if our relationship couldn't cope with a little connection from a long-distant friendship, then there is not something mildly wrong with our relationship, there are massive underlying issues that cannot be resolved... especially trust. So I'd walk away... because you cannot have a relationship when there is no trust as there is no relationship without trust.
So when someone, usually someone who says they love you, restricts those who you maintain contact with, in fear of you rekindling a relationship or starting something that they feared may have happened then but the timing wasn't right, what do you do? Do you tell them that no one, under any circumstances, will tell you who you can be friends with and who you can't? Do you try to appease them and say that you don't have feelings for that person anymore? Do you obey their every order? Really, with so many people having hundreds of friends on their Facebook account, how many people, from your high school days, your college days, your pre-married days, your post-married days and possibly your married days, have you kissed, had a crush on or had sex with? It would be fair to say, that on my current Facebook account, there are 11 guys there who, over the years (including my primary school crushes!) that I have had a romantic fondness for, kissed, gone to 3rd base with or had sex with. (with most being crushes!). And I would say my list is ultra conservative. And I know there are guys on my list who aren't included in that 11, who had crushes on me. So for one person to say to me that I cannot have any contact with someone because I have had 'feelings' for that person somewhere in my 38 (almost 39) years, it's just preposterous!
I can tell you now, that those 11 guys on my list live all over the world, are happily married and some are single but either they have no interest or I don't (mostly I don't!). But it doesn't stop me from being friends with them from a distance via Facebook.
So why do partners get exceedingly jealous if they see past lovers on their spouse's Facebook account? What is wrong with that? Are they so insecure in their own relationship that they couldn't comprehend allowing their partner to even have a friendship by social media distance? To me, it is utterly sad that someone could be so controlling over someone else's life to stop them having some harmless reconnecting and trips down memory lane. And most the time, most your friends on Facebook don't even interact with you on a one-on-one level... it's just a 'like' here or a 'birthday wish' there.
Personally for me, it would be a deal breaker. It would show that there is no trust in our relationship, no care for our own feelings and no respect for our choices. I would not apologise to anyone for having someone in my life because, no matter what, that person touched my life in either a small way or big way, and they mean something to me. If my partner, spouse or even child disapproved of who I keep company with, it's their problem not mine, and if our relationship couldn't cope with a little connection from a long-distant friendship, then there is not something mildly wrong with our relationship, there are massive underlying issues that cannot be resolved... especially trust. So I'd walk away... because you cannot have a relationship when there is no trust as there is no relationship without trust.
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Why Women Worry?
I guess it's in our nature. We have so many things that concern us in our lives... remembering to pay the bills, picking up the kids from school, making sure our children are liked at school and not bullied, our children's feelings, when are we going to feel loved again, are we eating the right foods, are we getting enough exercise, are we having enough 'me' time, are we devoting enough time to our partners, parents, friends, are we doing the right thing for ourselves, our children or our future? The list is endless. And it's doubly hard when you're a single parent, as you don't have someone to share the responsibilities with... (but in saying that, you only have yourself to rely on, so it takes the stress away a little knowing that you haven't asked someone else to do something and they have forgotten).
There are a lot of pressures in this world and only selfless people help those in need. I remember an episode in 'Friends' where Joey and Phoebe were arguing that there is no such thing as a selfless act. And in someways it's true... Grandparents who help their children raise their grandchildren do so to make them feel young again, continue the family bond and take their thoughts away from their own aches and pains. People who volunteer for charities, donate blood or put their own lives at risk during natural disasters, do so to ensure that they know in their heart that they have made a difference in someone else's life and they hold no regret in their hearts that they didn't try when they could. Parents take on the responsibility of raising a child, teaching them about life, and giving them the resources - mentally, physically, spiritually and intelligently to fly in this world on their own, and by doing so, it gives them a great sense of pride and joy that their child is everything they wanted them to be.
But even after they leave the family nest, mothers still worry. They worry that their children are financially OK, that they had a roof over their head, that they aren't being taken advantage of at work, if they are getting good marks at school, that they haven't been a victim of crime, (or a criminal themselves!), that they aren't addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling or prostitutes, that they can find someone to love them as much as you do so that they can find happiness... they just worry.
And we worry about our best friends... we worry when we don't hear from them for a while, we worry when life isn't treating them well, we worry when they go through the heartache of death or divorce, we worry when they have problems with their own children... we worry because WE CARE!!!
I remember having a conversation with a friend who didn't like the question "How are you?" To me, it's asking you if you're having a good day or a bad day, if you have any concerns that, as a friend, you can either provide levity or advice. It's a question that lets you into the heart of someone's life. But he said that most people don't really care about the answer, so it's a question that he was tired of answering... even though I was adamant that I cared about the answer with him. He chose not to answer the question, but you could see that he'd been hurt by other people in his day, and didn't want to talk about it. I will admit, some people treat the question 'How are you?' as a greeting, but there is a good percentage of people who ask BECAUSE THEY CARE!! (like me!!)
So we worry because we care. Some think it's suffering in advance, but really it's compassion given a different title.
There are a lot of pressures in this world and only selfless people help those in need. I remember an episode in 'Friends' where Joey and Phoebe were arguing that there is no such thing as a selfless act. And in someways it's true... Grandparents who help their children raise their grandchildren do so to make them feel young again, continue the family bond and take their thoughts away from their own aches and pains. People who volunteer for charities, donate blood or put their own lives at risk during natural disasters, do so to ensure that they know in their heart that they have made a difference in someone else's life and they hold no regret in their hearts that they didn't try when they could. Parents take on the responsibility of raising a child, teaching them about life, and giving them the resources - mentally, physically, spiritually and intelligently to fly in this world on their own, and by doing so, it gives them a great sense of pride and joy that their child is everything they wanted them to be.
But even after they leave the family nest, mothers still worry. They worry that their children are financially OK, that they had a roof over their head, that they aren't being taken advantage of at work, if they are getting good marks at school, that they haven't been a victim of crime, (or a criminal themselves!), that they aren't addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling or prostitutes, that they can find someone to love them as much as you do so that they can find happiness... they just worry.
And we worry about our best friends... we worry when we don't hear from them for a while, we worry when life isn't treating them well, we worry when they go through the heartache of death or divorce, we worry when they have problems with their own children... we worry because WE CARE!!!
I remember having a conversation with a friend who didn't like the question "How are you?" To me, it's asking you if you're having a good day or a bad day, if you have any concerns that, as a friend, you can either provide levity or advice. It's a question that lets you into the heart of someone's life. But he said that most people don't really care about the answer, so it's a question that he was tired of answering... even though I was adamant that I cared about the answer with him. He chose not to answer the question, but you could see that he'd been hurt by other people in his day, and didn't want to talk about it. I will admit, some people treat the question 'How are you?' as a greeting, but there is a good percentage of people who ask BECAUSE THEY CARE!! (like me!!)
So we worry because we care. Some think it's suffering in advance, but really it's compassion given a different title.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Divorce, death and taxes
I wouldn't have my real estate copywriting business if it there weren't divorce, death and taxes. Believe it or not, a very small percentage of homes get sold because people want a sea change, a tree change, they've outgrown their home or their family have left the nest. At the moment, agents are suggesting that 60% of properties put on the market are due to separations/divorces, there are a good percentage of deceased estates and the rest are developers/investors doing what they can to make a living and avoid paying too much tax.
So why are there so many divorces at the moment? Has it always been like this? It's hard to say... They have definitely always been there, and we, as freelancers to the trade, see them in all shapes and sizes - bitterness, friendliness, situations where renovations haven't been completed as if 'he' does the renovations with his time and effort, 'she' will benefit from it, and he doesn't want her to benefit, so they sell the home with a stack of floorboards in a pile instead of nailed to the joists, ducted heating vents not connected but just lying there in the dirt under the home and kitchen appliances sitting in boxes unopened. I get to talk to many of them - some are distraught and never saw it coming, others were relieved when their partner suggested that they should separate and move on with their lives.
But if it weren't for these life changing moments - births, deaths, divorce, job promotion, weddings, disease, accidents and business decisions, this world would not revolve... life would stay stagnant for so many who rely on 'change.' So why are so many reluctant to change? They stay in the same house for 50 years, they stay in an unhappy marriage for similar years always bickering, nothing isn't good enough but they accept that the negativity in their marriage is what keeps their marriage going. Shouldn't we concentrate on what makes us happy rather than what keeps the wheels turning? What happens when the wheel stops turning and your spouse dies? What have you got then? No one to be bitter to, no one to blame for what they didn't do, no one to criticise, no one to lie to... and in the end, all you are is a bitter lonely unappreciative person with no one to take your crap from you anymore. Why would you EVER want to get yourself to that stage? Why can't you recognise that there is more in life than being Marie and Frank on 'Everyone Loves Raymond' meddling in everyone else's lives and not seeing what the truth is behind their own life? And the reality is... many people are seeing it, having the courage and letting 'till death do us part' go.
Some say they love their spouse literally because they don't know if they could ever love someone else... they are so used to being with someone who takes the verbal and emotional abuse from them, that they couldn't foresee someone else being their 'lackey.' But is giving verbal and emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse truly loving someone? I don't think so... How can someone deeply care for someone, deeply love someone in their heart and constantly abuse them without any concern, apology or recognition that they are doing it? All they are doing is 'controlling' their spouse... they don't love them. It's not fair on the children, it's not fair on friends and it's certainly not fair on the weaker spouse who is subjected to the bullying... and sometimes, for the weaker spouse, they have no idea that it's happening until they see that they shouldn't be subjected to this constant hatred, yelling and anti-social behaviour, that they don't need to walk around with a heavy noose around their neck or a weight in their heart. There is a way to find happiness.
I remember when I chose to leave my husband and the number of people who told me how courageous I was for doing so. I thought it was a funny thing to say at the time, but 3 years later, and I understand why. It is hard going through a divorce and child custody issues when you have an unrealistic ex-spouse who still wants to maintain control, especially when their life has taken such a dramatic fall to the ground. He had a rude awakening when he was left with not enough money to pay his legal fees. And our fight isn't over yet... but that's another story.
But with my business, divorce, death and taxes are definitely things that I can count on for getting me by... oh, and interest rate changes! People either have to sell when they can't afford their mortgage anymore, or want to make that change when interest rates are cheap... and it's all to do with change, making the world go round, and just not fighting it, going with it and enjoying the ride. If only people were more realistic and accept that change is here, take responsibility for it, knowing that we can't do anything about it and just move with the groove... life would be a more enjoyable ride for all.
Bring on change to give the world a new sense of happiness... :)
So why are there so many divorces at the moment? Has it always been like this? It's hard to say... They have definitely always been there, and we, as freelancers to the trade, see them in all shapes and sizes - bitterness, friendliness, situations where renovations haven't been completed as if 'he' does the renovations with his time and effort, 'she' will benefit from it, and he doesn't want her to benefit, so they sell the home with a stack of floorboards in a pile instead of nailed to the joists, ducted heating vents not connected but just lying there in the dirt under the home and kitchen appliances sitting in boxes unopened. I get to talk to many of them - some are distraught and never saw it coming, others were relieved when their partner suggested that they should separate and move on with their lives.
But if it weren't for these life changing moments - births, deaths, divorce, job promotion, weddings, disease, accidents and business decisions, this world would not revolve... life would stay stagnant for so many who rely on 'change.' So why are so many reluctant to change? They stay in the same house for 50 years, they stay in an unhappy marriage for similar years always bickering, nothing isn't good enough but they accept that the negativity in their marriage is what keeps their marriage going. Shouldn't we concentrate on what makes us happy rather than what keeps the wheels turning? What happens when the wheel stops turning and your spouse dies? What have you got then? No one to be bitter to, no one to blame for what they didn't do, no one to criticise, no one to lie to... and in the end, all you are is a bitter lonely unappreciative person with no one to take your crap from you anymore. Why would you EVER want to get yourself to that stage? Why can't you recognise that there is more in life than being Marie and Frank on 'Everyone Loves Raymond' meddling in everyone else's lives and not seeing what the truth is behind their own life? And the reality is... many people are seeing it, having the courage and letting 'till death do us part' go.
Some say they love their spouse literally because they don't know if they could ever love someone else... they are so used to being with someone who takes the verbal and emotional abuse from them, that they couldn't foresee someone else being their 'lackey.' But is giving verbal and emotional (and sometimes physical) abuse truly loving someone? I don't think so... How can someone deeply care for someone, deeply love someone in their heart and constantly abuse them without any concern, apology or recognition that they are doing it? All they are doing is 'controlling' their spouse... they don't love them. It's not fair on the children, it's not fair on friends and it's certainly not fair on the weaker spouse who is subjected to the bullying... and sometimes, for the weaker spouse, they have no idea that it's happening until they see that they shouldn't be subjected to this constant hatred, yelling and anti-social behaviour, that they don't need to walk around with a heavy noose around their neck or a weight in their heart. There is a way to find happiness.
I remember when I chose to leave my husband and the number of people who told me how courageous I was for doing so. I thought it was a funny thing to say at the time, but 3 years later, and I understand why. It is hard going through a divorce and child custody issues when you have an unrealistic ex-spouse who still wants to maintain control, especially when their life has taken such a dramatic fall to the ground. He had a rude awakening when he was left with not enough money to pay his legal fees. And our fight isn't over yet... but that's another story.
But with my business, divorce, death and taxes are definitely things that I can count on for getting me by... oh, and interest rate changes! People either have to sell when they can't afford their mortgage anymore, or want to make that change when interest rates are cheap... and it's all to do with change, making the world go round, and just not fighting it, going with it and enjoying the ride. If only people were more realistic and accept that change is here, take responsibility for it, knowing that we can't do anything about it and just move with the groove... life would be a more enjoyable ride for all.
Bring on change to give the world a new sense of happiness... :)
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
A Lucky Long Weekend with a Difference
In Melbourne, this weekend is an unofficial '4-day weekend.' We traditionally have the first day of November off to celebrate our beloved horse race, The Melbourne Cup. It's internationally renowned, as it's a 2 mile/3200m race, equally the longest horse race on a racetrack in the world. It beats the Triple Crown by 1/2 a mile, so you really need a stayer of a horse to be in The Melbourne Cup. For most people, having the Tuesday off is a good excuse to have the Monday off as well, and my boys had a Curriculum Day yesterday just to give them a 4-day weekend. So this is what we got up to!
As you all know, we took a 30 hour hiatus out of town Friday night to have a little adventure to Apollo Bay and the Otways... When we were down there, I bought a lottery ticket for the $21 million Tattslotto draw, and won 2 x 6th divisions and a 7th division off a Quick Pick (computer generated numbers), so I won $55 all up, which was a nice surprise.
On Sunday, we had a bit of a day of rest, a couple of downloaded movies, a little bit of work for me and a small outing where my 11 year old and I went bike shopping (which I had done 'bike browsing' the weekend before with my 9 year old), and we walked out paying for three shiny new bikes (which weren't delivered until Monday).
Monday, I had to work... the boys had a pyjama day again, but our bikes were delivered in the afternoon. I also decided to work out what to do with their playroom. It desperately needed some militant organisation and the only way we could achieve that, was to do some research on the Ikea website (of course I wanted it cheap, fresh and something I could put in the car and take with me, and not worry about it being delivered in 5 days time!)
So Tuesday came around... I had a chat with a friend from overseas, the boys asked me to make pancakes for breakfast, which I obliged, and then I said we had to try out our new bikes. My 9 year old was a little apprehensive as he hadn't really ridden a mountain bike before, but I told him we could have a little practice at the local school and if he wanted to go home we could. At the start, I needed to hold onto him till he got moving, but when we got to the school, he was riding like it was second nature. He was so excited about how he went, he asked if we could ride on the road, if we could go for a longer ride, if we could just RIDE!! So we went back home, grabbed their Camelbaks for instant hydration, and headed towards the beach to ride on the bike path. Of course, the rain started to come in, and there were a few little up-hill inclinations we had to go on which ruined his style (or should I say 'hurt his legs!), but we made our maiden voyage from home down to the clock tower and back. To me, it was further than I expected us to go, and both boys are looking forward to the next trip, telling me how much 'fun' it was! Yeah! Mum got something right!!
After we came home, the boys sat down in front of the TV and I told them to turn it off... too much to do! Need to get bets on for the Melbourne Cup (upon which we all chose 2 horses and put $5 each way for a win and a place), and we had to go to Ikea to get the new bookshelves!
I made it down to the TAB to put the bets on (which just so happened to be next to a pawn shop... obviously help each other with business!), then drove to the new Ikea, walked through the maze of showroom to not find what we wanted until we hit the food hall and the boys screamed out that they were hungry and wanted lunch! So we had some Swedish Meatballs, a salmon (or gravalax) salad wrap and some hot chips (as the $1 hot dogs were downstairs after you check out!), and I tried the Swedish apple cake. We then made our way downstairs to the Market hall and picked up some 79c water glasses, some tea candles and our bookcases with baskets... but we also found a cute little timber outdoor setting that was perfect for our little porch, so we threw that into the trolley, as well (hope I can fit it all into my car!).
As we went to pay, I was handed a $25 gift voucher because Ikea was having a generous week (ooh, I can now buy the cushions I need for the outdoor setting!), and we proceeded blindly towards the car with my trolley literally blocking any vision I had of what was in front of me. I asked my little guides to help me where they could, especially asking them to walk either side of me so I could see where they were. We made it to the car, managed to get it all in and slowly drove home, as the glasses were loosely placed in the boot of my car.
On the way home, as there is a $100 million OzLotto draw tonight, I asked the boys if I should get a ticket... which of course, they said 'yes.' So I cashed in my weekend winners, bought a lottery ticket for tonight and a couple of scratchy tickets for some pre-lottery fun.
Once we came home, we lugged everything inside, started making our bookcases, when the race came on. We sat for the traditional 3 minutes of silence, and saw two of our six horses get a place... giving us about $135 back! Not bad for a single mum with two kids who have no idea what we are doing! We then decided to scratch away at our scratches, the boys won nothing on their $1 tickets... but I won $10 on my $5 ticket.
We finished making the bookcases with a hammer to the thumb for me courtesy of my 9 year old, and a bruised knuckle thanks to an allen key, and made their play room look perfect! There's a desk for homework next to the window, the bookcases, two bean bags, a TV for their Wii, and a world map to mark out all the places that we've been.
Unfortunately, my OzLotto numbers didn't come up... missed it by 'that much.' But that's OK... I'm just happy that I have two boys who enjoyed their long weekend, a tidy organised playroom for them and we had a little luck come our way!
As you all know, we took a 30 hour hiatus out of town Friday night to have a little adventure to Apollo Bay and the Otways... When we were down there, I bought a lottery ticket for the $21 million Tattslotto draw, and won 2 x 6th divisions and a 7th division off a Quick Pick (computer generated numbers), so I won $55 all up, which was a nice surprise.
On Sunday, we had a bit of a day of rest, a couple of downloaded movies, a little bit of work for me and a small outing where my 11 year old and I went bike shopping (which I had done 'bike browsing' the weekend before with my 9 year old), and we walked out paying for three shiny new bikes (which weren't delivered until Monday).
Monday, I had to work... the boys had a pyjama day again, but our bikes were delivered in the afternoon. I also decided to work out what to do with their playroom. It desperately needed some militant organisation and the only way we could achieve that, was to do some research on the Ikea website (of course I wanted it cheap, fresh and something I could put in the car and take with me, and not worry about it being delivered in 5 days time!)
So Tuesday came around... I had a chat with a friend from overseas, the boys asked me to make pancakes for breakfast, which I obliged, and then I said we had to try out our new bikes. My 9 year old was a little apprehensive as he hadn't really ridden a mountain bike before, but I told him we could have a little practice at the local school and if he wanted to go home we could. At the start, I needed to hold onto him till he got moving, but when we got to the school, he was riding like it was second nature. He was so excited about how he went, he asked if we could ride on the road, if we could go for a longer ride, if we could just RIDE!! So we went back home, grabbed their Camelbaks for instant hydration, and headed towards the beach to ride on the bike path. Of course, the rain started to come in, and there were a few little up-hill inclinations we had to go on which ruined his style (or should I say 'hurt his legs!), but we made our maiden voyage from home down to the clock tower and back. To me, it was further than I expected us to go, and both boys are looking forward to the next trip, telling me how much 'fun' it was! Yeah! Mum got something right!!
After we came home, the boys sat down in front of the TV and I told them to turn it off... too much to do! Need to get bets on for the Melbourne Cup (upon which we all chose 2 horses and put $5 each way for a win and a place), and we had to go to Ikea to get the new bookshelves!
I made it down to the TAB to put the bets on (which just so happened to be next to a pawn shop... obviously help each other with business!), then drove to the new Ikea, walked through the maze of showroom to not find what we wanted until we hit the food hall and the boys screamed out that they were hungry and wanted lunch! So we had some Swedish Meatballs, a salmon (or gravalax) salad wrap and some hot chips (as the $1 hot dogs were downstairs after you check out!), and I tried the Swedish apple cake. We then made our way downstairs to the Market hall and picked up some 79c water glasses, some tea candles and our bookcases with baskets... but we also found a cute little timber outdoor setting that was perfect for our little porch, so we threw that into the trolley, as well (hope I can fit it all into my car!).
As we went to pay, I was handed a $25 gift voucher because Ikea was having a generous week (ooh, I can now buy the cushions I need for the outdoor setting!), and we proceeded blindly towards the car with my trolley literally blocking any vision I had of what was in front of me. I asked my little guides to help me where they could, especially asking them to walk either side of me so I could see where they were. We made it to the car, managed to get it all in and slowly drove home, as the glasses were loosely placed in the boot of my car.
On the way home, as there is a $100 million OzLotto draw tonight, I asked the boys if I should get a ticket... which of course, they said 'yes.' So I cashed in my weekend winners, bought a lottery ticket for tonight and a couple of scratchy tickets for some pre-lottery fun.
Once we came home, we lugged everything inside, started making our bookcases, when the race came on. We sat for the traditional 3 minutes of silence, and saw two of our six horses get a place... giving us about $135 back! Not bad for a single mum with two kids who have no idea what we are doing! We then decided to scratch away at our scratches, the boys won nothing on their $1 tickets... but I won $10 on my $5 ticket.
We finished making the bookcases with a hammer to the thumb for me courtesy of my 9 year old, and a bruised knuckle thanks to an allen key, and made their play room look perfect! There's a desk for homework next to the window, the bookcases, two bean bags, a TV for their Wii, and a world map to mark out all the places that we've been.
Unfortunately, my OzLotto numbers didn't come up... missed it by 'that much.' But that's OK... I'm just happy that I have two boys who enjoyed their long weekend, a tidy organised playroom for them and we had a little luck come our way!
Saturday, 3 November 2012
The 2nd Day of our Otways Adventure!
We left our hotel at 7.30am to drive the scenic route passed the rough surf coast to the rainforest and farmland. I love leaving early, so it's like we are the only ones on the road... there is something freeing about being the first one to see what the morning offers you. (I did manage to take a pic of done of the 'Drive on the left' signs!
It is quite amazing how the landscape can change so quickly in literally less than half an hour of driving. We arrived at our destination half an hour early, and noticed a sign for some waterfalls an extra 3 kilometres down the road, so we thought we'd check them out. To get there, we had to go on a gravel trail with loads of bumps, fallen branches on the road and we even had a wallaby jump across our path. When we arrived, the signs indicated that the waterfalls were an hour's walk and we had half an hour to check into our pre-organised activity, so we couldn't stay too long. But it was nice, as I said, being the 'first' for the morning to enjoy the rainforest air without the crowds.
We made it to the red tree stump before we headed back.
We arrived at the Otway Fly to do our Zip Line Tour, only to be greeted by a couple of dinosaurs!
And then the adventure began! We checked in, went into the de-briefing room with Jonty and Cam, our guides for the day, to get harnessed up and given the safety procedures. We were asked if we wanted to give it a trial run before heading out to the cloud stations, and a couple in our party of nine felt a little nervous, and took on the trial.
We then headed to the cloud stations. Nine cloud stations, six zip lines, 2 rope bridges and plenty of fun. The first cloud station was 10 metres high off the ground up a spiral staircase that just seemed to go on and on! We were put in two groups - red side and the silver side, depending on the colour of our 'boomerang' attached to our 'cat' (the rollers that attach us and roll us along the zip line). The 'silver' side was funny, as it was a family of four who's surname was 'Silver.' We were in the red side with a middle aged lady and her 30 something year old daughter.
The first zip line was 40 metres across to the next cloud station. The second was 19 metres above the forest floor and was about 80 metres across. Each one was slightly different in terms of speed that it was able to achieve, the way we had to land, and the height off the forest floor. The longest zip line was 120 metres. As we were the first group, by the time we ended, we could hear other groups coming through behind us making plenty of noise through the forest, so we were instructed to scream our lungs out for the last zip, let go and enjoy the ride! I screamed out 'Who-Hoo', my 9 year old screamed out 'ice-cream' and my 11 year old screamed out 'Oh My God!' We had a blast!
After the zip line we went back to the visitor's centre for lunch, and instead of going back to do the Otway Fly walk, the guides actually said that going back to the waterfall was so much better, as we had essentially seen everything at a great height from the zip line, where as the waterfalls you were at ground zero enjoying it in all its lushness! And they also said, the best way to see it, is go through the 'exit' and do the trip backwards as you get to the waterfalls faster!
We jumped in the car, went back to the falls and found a full carpark. We found the exit and walked through the dense walkways and found the Triplet Falls... absolutely stunning.
The boys wanted to drive back to Apollo Bay, so we took the narrow winding road, which literally was the widths of 1.5 cars, and some how there were signs that we had to share this road with logging trucks! Have no idea how they'd get through. As it was so narrow, and I was stuck behind a camper van for most of it, I didn't take any pics. Apollo Bay was busy, well, busier than the night before. The boys wanted to play on the arcade games, grab an ice-cream and wander through the shops. We then jumped back into the car, to make our way home. We stopped a little outside Lorne for a half hour catnap to 'make' it home, but then I decided to contact a friend who lived in Torquay asking her what she was up to for dinner, as it was about 6.15pm and we were about to go through Torquay. Luckily she answered, and we caught up for a couple of hours at the Torquay Pub!
We arrived back home at about 10.30pm to my neighbours having a Halloween Party complete with hired spa and slurpee cocktail machine, but we were all too tired to enjoy the celebrations.
The boys loved their impromptu adventure... not sure where or when the next one will be, but I'm sure we can make it happen before Christmas!
Friday, 2 November 2012
An Impromptu Trip Down the Coast
At about 11.15 this morning, I decided to book an overnight stay down in Apollo Bay. Apollo Bay is a 3 hour drive out of Melbourne on the beautiful Great Ocean Road. To get here, you have to drive on some very windy roads of rocky coastline with waves crashing into the rocks and beaches, but it is stunning, relaxing and peaceful.
Last time I was down here, two years ago, I was with my lover showing him the best of Victoria and he loved the fact that the landscape is not littered with advertising signs, just natural beauty. A little beyond Apollo Bay the Great Ocean Road turns into rainforest and even farmland before it hits the Twelve Apostles - an iconic shipwreck coastline that's famous around the world. But we won't be going there this time...
What is funny, are the little signs on the road for the tourists... I didn't take any photos of them, as I knew I did last time... but they are on my other computer :( They say "We drive on the left, in Australia."
We made it to Apollo Bay a little after 7pm, checked into our 'family suite' which is more like a 2-storey townhouse with the boys sleeping upstairs, and me downstairs (they also have an XBOX 360 to play with, so they are doubly excited!) After we checked in, we went to get some dinner at the local pub. Apollo Bay is such a pretty town, and the boys are eager to stay for a little longer...
(not bad pics for my iPhone driving 80kmh with one hand on the wheel, the other taking pics!)
Last time I was down here, two years ago, I was with my lover showing him the best of Victoria and he loved the fact that the landscape is not littered with advertising signs, just natural beauty. A little beyond Apollo Bay the Great Ocean Road turns into rainforest and even farmland before it hits the Twelve Apostles - an iconic shipwreck coastline that's famous around the world. But we won't be going there this time...
What is funny, are the little signs on the road for the tourists... I didn't take any photos of them, as I knew I did last time... but they are on my other computer :( They say "We drive on the left, in Australia."
We made it to Apollo Bay a little after 7pm, checked into our 'family suite' which is more like a 2-storey townhouse with the boys sleeping upstairs, and me downstairs (they also have an XBOX 360 to play with, so they are doubly excited!) After we checked in, we went to get some dinner at the local pub. Apollo Bay is such a pretty town, and the boys are eager to stay for a little longer...
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