Feminism and Men

Why is there a growing concern in women that there aren't any solid, responsible, compassionate men out there anymore? Are we asking too much from them? Are men scared of what is required from them? What happened to the man who would provide for his wife and family, do all the manly things around the house like take out the rubbish, mow the lawns, tend to all the handy-man duties, the man who would be the soccer coach or take the kids out for a bike ride on a Sunday morning so you could have a sleep in? Or the man who takes the kids fishing or camping for the weekend, to see a football game or teach the kids about the way a car works? Where is that man?

Ok, so some men still do some of those things, but it is very rare to find a man who does all of those things. So I have a theory...

I believe men are confused. Since the 1960s and 1970s when feminism took a stance on equality, men found it difficult to know what their roles are. As their mothers became role models for doing everything - working, house work, helping children with their homework, mowing lawns and gardening, being able to change a lightbulb, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, etc they could see that there wasn't much else to do, but enjoy the fact that they were being 'looked after.' Their mothers were too busy doing everything to tell their sons to get off their bums and actually do something, because the nagging used more energy than them actually doing it themselves. So men became complacent. They got used to being looked after and having a fall back if things went wrong. And while their mothers were doing everything, they saw little of their fathers, as they too worked long hours, but they started spending weekends playing golf, evenings at the pub with their mates and enjoying that they had all this free time.

More and more, I hear of stories of men who grew up in this sort of life and are now attracted to strong capable women who can literally look after them, like their mother did. They abuse the concept of a marriage or partnership having any equality to it, don't look for work or have the ambition to work in any high salary job... even if it is truck driving, a trade like plumbing, electrical, carpentry, etc, or even in the mines just to make life easier for their wife and family. They live for their dream, usually something creative or something that they have no idea what it is, but it has something to do with being rich and exuberant, but they don't live in the present and try to have some reason to be in the family.

But you also hear of the stories, that when all else fails in their life, they go back to live with Mum until they can get back on their feet... even at the ages of 36, 45 and 54! They have no sense of personal pride... they would rather go live with Mum than sleep in a boarding house for a few weeks to show that they can be independent and be a man. A man who can be personally responsible for themselves.

And what makes it hard, is that there is hundreds of thousands of women out there, hoping to find that one man who will love her, provide for her, be the shoulder to cry on, be a wonderful lover, be the perfect father for their future kids and just be willing to help whenever the need arises without the nagging that women are so renowned for. But there aren't many available ones out there... and it is impossible to detect who they are until you engage in a life together and discover the truth behind their words and actions.

So what do us women do? We continue to be the strong, capable and responsible women that we are, who don't need to have a man in our lives to complete us. But we know, that one day, when the time is right, the right one will come along, and truly sweep us off our feet.