Biding my time...

It's been a strenuous week... but I'm now ready to tell you all...
My adventure has been postponed due to bureaucracy and legal red tape. I was possibly the most distraught I think I ever have been. I think I was mainly distraught because my freedom had been taken away from me.  My money has yet to come from my financial settlement due to some superannuation big wig trying to change the words a little so he can put his two bob in, delaying the release of the funds, and I'm no longer allowed to travel to the country that I've fallen in love with over the past 2 years unless I have a Visa.
So over the last few days, I've had many people tell me many things. Some tell me to fight for what I want and do everything possible to make it happen again. Think outside the square to create possibilities that allow bureaucracy to stamp my approval. Others tell me that there is a reason for what's happened and I won't know why until later, so just ride it out and get my life back to normal. Some tell me to let go of my internet friendships over there and move on over here and find someone to love me here, others say that I need to go with what my heart says.
And that's possibly what's the biggest one... what my heart says. My heart wants to get my book out, my heart says I need to change my work direction so I can give more time to my boys but also be in more contact with people so I can observe more and develop characters for my fiction writing, my heart screams to be travelling and my heart needs a break to find out who I really am without the influence of what everyone else wants for me. I have overcome one hurdle in my life to only be presented with an even bigger hurdle... but at this point it feels impossible to overcome it.
I've really thought hard about if it's my heart wanting to be close to my overseas friends or if my heart is truly where it wants to be with my work... and for some time now, it just hasn't been. I churn out my work because I'm good at it, because I provide excellent customer service, and it brings in a good income, but it's been a good 7 years now that I have wanted to move on to other opportunities. And I really thought this was my chance. And it possibly is my chance, but I need to be more clever about it to make it happen.
So, for all those that wonder... I will be following my heart. Following my heart with what I want to do with my career, following my heart with what I want for my boys and following my heart with my love in experiencing the world.
I have worked too hard over the last three years leading up to this opportunity, finding invaluable contacts to progress my writing career, learning the art of writing creatively and deeply to give it all away. It's not about a man, it's about me and my boys, and giving us a life they will remember with fondness, gratitude and love.