The Older We Get, The Crazier We Get

Had an interesting dinner with a few old timers tonight. The age ranged from about 88 down to 8 years old with the majority on the table in the top heavy age group. It was a funny and a little scary insight into how truly many in their golden years are stuck in their ways, but also interesting to see the contradictions in their lives.

Firstly, I'd like to set the scenario. A group of 'seniors' go out to their regular Monday night dinner - same place, same time, same day... every week. Sometimes there are a few ring ins, like myself, other times it's the stock standard crew. A couple of weeks ago, the management to their favourite establishment changed. The staff changed, the menu changed. It was almost catastrophic! They actually changed venues for a week. There are a few very quiet souls amongst the crew, there are a couple of jovial ones and a few complainers. Most these people declare that in their winter years of their lives, they want to enjoy their friends and family for who they are, the fun times they have, the laughter and their happy stories... but when put in a situation like this, their true colours come out... their self-declared positive vibe turns into the world attacking them because they didn't get what they want when they wanted, and a self-controlled tantrum takes place.

I must admit, the older they get, the funnier they are. The octogenarians seem to laugh about anything and don't take things too seriously. They turn their hearing aids up when they want to know something, and love the peaceful silence with their hearing aids down when they don't want to know. They forget the  hardships of the previous day, a previous year or a previous decade and laugh at the ordinary being extraordinary.  But they know what they like, get a touch annoyed if they don't get it the way they like it, but take it anyway begrudgingly and decide that it's not that bad after all. Their sixty and seventy year old cousins seem to want to take a little more control, because they haven't come to terms with the idea that they are entering that time of their lives where senility or dementia sets in. They take things a little too seriously, wanting to maintain their sense of control, order and rigid familiarity to appease the older ones (well that's what they think!). Then there are the ring ins like me and the younger generation - we go there to have a meal, have a casual chat with people we've heard about but don't know much about, and happy that we're fed and eager to go home.

Last week, they enjoyed the new menu, the staff were friendly and serving the food within a reasonable time frame and they were in high spirits. This week, the food was too slow, it came out in the wrong order, we were too close to the window so those next to it were catching a chill and then there's the penny pitching at the till. The complaints were endless around the table, mainly by a chosen few, but even after the food was served and the bill was being paid, they simply couldn't let go, making the night a very uncomfortable night for those attending and surrounding us.

Look I know that those in their retirement years don't have an idea when they will depart this fair land and go to heaven, so they hold onto a dollar as long as they can to make sure that it's not frittered away. But their doddering ways are as changeable as flipping a coin, even though they will take a stance and say 'the older we get, the more we don't want to change'.

I sat back and smiled through the whole ordeal and eventually said, "What's the point of letting it get to you?" The grudge will last a whole week until they go back again to the same familiarity, the same new staff, the same new menu and possibly a different table away from the window, and who knows, they might just like it, next time!

Can a man really satisfy a woman?

Now, I'm going to get a little R rated here, so make sure the kids aren't around when you're reading this!

I pose you a thought... How absolutely mind-blowing are your orgasms? They say that women's orgasms have the potential to be ten times the power of a male orgasm, but with all the sexual play you have with your mate, are you thinking that they are about on par with what they are having or even worse, not really getting there at all.

So how is it possible? Think about all those documentaries your saw in school about animals 'doing it.' How a female dog, horse or cow somehow latches onto her male impregnator and won't let him go until the deed is done. We are all mammals, so is it possible for a woman to 'latch on' to her mate's appendage in the throes of passion to have the ultimate orgasm?

My answer to that is 'yes.' He has to be hard enough, succumb to all your wetness, be able to bounce off your cervix with the tip of his penis, be able to connect his body with your clit to rub it in just the right way, and ka-pow! You are having an orgasm that is so powerful, so intense that he is stuck inside you feeling the quivers of your intense orgasm as you've latched on, enticing him to cum with the uncontrollable contractions of your vagina. After all, it's nature... it's the way it's supposed to be done.

I've had chats with friends about this, as they like to get into the intimate details of it all and because I'm fairly open about these things...  how exactly can you make it happen? It really is all about having the connection... a mind and spiritual connection that transfers to ALL your sensual spots. Your breasts, your skin, your lips, your neck, your toes, your clit, your vagina and even your anus. It's learning about each other in ways that you are truly open and honest with each other about how his touch feels and how well you show him how he can improve. But the problem there is that there is a high percentage of women who haven't explored their bodies well enough to know exactly what turns them on. We essentially have 4 erogenous zones in our genital area that can take us to the moon and back - our G spot, our clit, the edge of our cervix & our anus. If you have all of these areas stimulated at once, you could have the most mind-blowing orgasm from your clit, your vagina and your anus all at once (mind you, it's not really lady-like having an anal orgasm, as the contractions of your anus as you orgasm tend to make you fart!). And if you can get stimulated at the depths of your breasts, with everything else rocking your world, you will never go back. They are incredible.

So, how do you get your man to not fumble his way into 'thinking' he's turning you on? I guess the only way is if we truly know what we want and how we want it. Unfortunately, most men are truly selfish lovers. They get turned on by your jiggling breasts and are more interested in maintaining a hard-on than pleasuring you. Really, why do us girls put up with that? I'd rather go to bed with a toy than a man who doesn't know what he's doing. At least I know what I'm doing.

So I guess girls, it's up to us AGAIN!! We need to know what truly makes us tick, because if we don't, how can we expect a man to know?

All The Things I Love....

I've just registered for an invite to participate in www.pinterest.com - a website that feeds off Facebook and Twitter that allows you to create a pinboard of all the things you love. And it made me think....

With all the hardships I've gone through over the past 12-18 months and all the things I've been able to rise and shine above, I guess it's a cathartic process, a much needed process just to define the things that I love.

First and foremost, are my boys.

They are great friends who have a love/hate relationship (as all siblings do), especially now that they are confined to a shared bedroom and no space for themselves. I'm am truly blessed with their compassion and love, their silliness and fun, but most of all, that they are there for me.

I love to write... there is no doubt. It feeds my soul, it makes me feel I have a voice, it inspires me to try new things and embrace the world. It's an outlet for my happiness, my sorrow, my confusion, my humour and my understanding of the world. 

I do love my family... but that too has its moments of love/hate. I do find that I am constricted to their expectations, their values and desires, and what I want from my family they aren't prepared to give. No doubt, over the last couple of weeks, they have been more than supportive, the way I wished and hoped they would have been while I was going through the torturous demise of my marriage ending. But the rules change when you lose your sense of power over your own life and give it back to them, just for the interim. Even though I need them the most I've ever needed them right now, I still also value my freedom.

I love a man who can't give me everything I need from him. He's the only person who literally lifts my spirits each time I communicate with him, he's the only person who actually accepts me for me and doesn't try to change me or have other expectations for me. He nurtures me, guides me, teaches me and makes me feel loved, if only in the time we interact. 

I love to travel... it's what makes me feel human, makes me feel at my happiest. It makes me look outside of my world into the homes and hearts of others and appreciate the smaller things in life that make such a difference to others. At the moment, as I've been denied from authorities to travel to one of the countries that I feel most inspired in, it really has crushed my soul. However, I am looking into new ways of being able to fulfil my dream.

I love provincial style homes - homes with antiques, with distressed furniture, homes that look lived in, not a display home for cleanliness. Homes where you can flop on a couch, put your feet up on the coffee table, smell the aroma of home baked goods, a wide verandah to sit on and enjoy a wine with friends or indulge in a book and enjoy a different view of the cottage gardens, the hills beyond or the ocean nearby from inside. I love the rambling look of a home, a roasting fireplace for winter, and a lush meandering garden in summer. 

I love the water... if it's a bath, a swim in the sea, snorkelling in tropical waters, a soothing pond or even a cool drink of H2O. Water is peaceful, enlightening, cooling, calming... 

I love to read - it's an escape into other people's lives, the world that we live in and an observation into the choices we make.

I love music - another escape that defines our emotions, it pinpoints our memories from when you first heard a song and it's something that allows you to connect with another through romantically, emotionally and physically.

I love my friends... I have a handful of friends who have entered my life over the last couple of years who I would be lost without. I have friends from my high school days who are always there in the background and I cherish so deeply. These are the people who understand me most, give me grief when I'm not thinking straight, but are always there for a chat, a hug, a laugh or a shoulder to cry on when I need them. 

But most of all... I love me. I have to. No one will love me as much as I do. I need to understand it more. Make choices about what's most important to me, what's going to be beneficial to me, what's going to make me better as a person and as a writer and understand my boundaries more. I know I need to release the pressure I put myself under and I know I am my worst enemy. But we all are... I blame myself too much for the situations I put myself in and forget that they are life lessons that need to be experienced for me to grow. 

Over the last couple of weeks, I've put a lot of heart and soul into thinking about what is most important to me... and I am going to do my very best to make it happen. If I don't, I know there will be regret. And I can't live a day in my life where I regret not doing something that wants to blossom inside me.

For all my loyal readers, make a list of all the things in your life that you love and make you complete. It makes you feel real again...

Biding my time...

It's been a strenuous week... but I'm now ready to tell you all...
My adventure has been postponed due to bureaucracy and legal red tape. I was possibly the most distraught I think I ever have been. I think I was mainly distraught because my freedom had been taken away from me.  My money has yet to come from my financial settlement due to some superannuation big wig trying to change the words a little so he can put his two bob in, delaying the release of the funds, and I'm no longer allowed to travel to the country that I've fallen in love with over the past 2 years unless I have a Visa.
So over the last few days, I've had many people tell me many things. Some tell me to fight for what I want and do everything possible to make it happen again. Think outside the square to create possibilities that allow bureaucracy to stamp my approval. Others tell me that there is a reason for what's happened and I won't know why until later, so just ride it out and get my life back to normal. Some tell me to let go of my internet friendships over there and move on over here and find someone to love me here, others say that I need to go with what my heart says.
And that's possibly what's the biggest one... what my heart says. My heart wants to get my book out, my heart says I need to change my work direction so I can give more time to my boys but also be in more contact with people so I can observe more and develop characters for my fiction writing, my heart screams to be travelling and my heart needs a break to find out who I really am without the influence of what everyone else wants for me. I have overcome one hurdle in my life to only be presented with an even bigger hurdle... but at this point it feels impossible to overcome it.
I've really thought hard about if it's my heart wanting to be close to my overseas friends or if my heart is truly where it wants to be with my work... and for some time now, it just hasn't been. I churn out my work because I'm good at it, because I provide excellent customer service, and it brings in a good income, but it's been a good 7 years now that I have wanted to move on to other opportunities. And I really thought this was my chance. And it possibly is my chance, but I need to be more clever about it to make it happen.
So, for all those that wonder... I will be following my heart. Following my heart with what I want to do with my career, following my heart with what I want for my boys and following my heart with my love in experiencing the world.
I have worked too hard over the last three years leading up to this opportunity, finding invaluable contacts to progress my writing career, learning the art of writing creatively and deeply to give it all away. It's not about a man, it's about me and my boys, and giving us a life they will remember with fondness, gratitude and love.