If the world was going to end, what would be the one thing you'd take with you?

It's a funny question, as if the world were to end, there's no point in taking anything because we'd all die... but hypothetically, if the world ended as we know it, and we were all air lifted onto another planet to start a new life, what would you take?

The question was posed at a friend's Jewish passover celebration a couple of years back. A passover that included his conservative in-laws as well as his own more liberal family. Everyone went around the table, saying the sentimental things - taking the kids, taking the photo albums, an inherited piece of jewellery, even the practical of a case of water. My friend's 65 year old mother left the room for a bit and came back planting her vibrator in the middle of the table saying 'That is what I can't live without!' to absolute shock to his prudish in-laws.  My friends family were in hysterics, his wife's family left the building.

And it begs to ask the question? How many single mothers out there would prefer to live with their automated phallic than be bothered going through the dating scene and feeling loved again?

The problem is, when you've been in a relationship for so long that ends abruptly, you lose all trust in the other sex. You want to have your independence because you see all the similar traits in all men that you saw in your ex, and you really can't be bothered. You realise that this is the time to renew 'you' not to immediately jump on the next cock that walks through your door. Many women love that they have their own space to explore their own sexuality on their own, so when prospects come our way, unless the prospect is completely devoted to turning us around and believing that not all men are the same, there is little chance of us accepting a real man into our lives again, so our plastic toys have to do...

But as a single mum, we are dedicated to our kids and don't want different strays coming into our lives to confuse our kids that 'this one is their new Daddy.' Or maybe it's the next one... it's not fair on them. So our choices become more difficult and it's hard to let anyone into the family unit that you have created and want to protect. So again, we go back to the reliable vibrator as our saviour.

So maybe that hard long battery operating device is the one thing that we would take to another planet when life on this one fades away. At least we can still make ourselves happy while everything else is uncertain!

Finding happiness...

It's sad to see so many single mums holding onto the image that it takes a 'man' to give them happiness. Or for those who are the other way inclined a 'woman.' They see couples together, enjoying each other's company, schmoozing with each other, smiling and whispering sweet nothings to each other wishing that that image was them.

And it is a nice thought, no doubt. But why does it have to be everything that we hold on to? Why can't it be a 'part' of the happiness and not the only thing that would make us happy? Are single mums giving themselves a life sentence of sadness by holding onto that 'one' thought?

Where does this image come from? Is it the fairytale of romance that we learnt from Cinderella and Snow White that makes us believe that this is the life we must live for? Can't we be married to ourselves - married to the adventures that we create for ourselves, married to the opportunities we give ourselves, married to a life of independence? What is it that is so appealing about a man that we can't live without them?

Really girls, the lustre of what a man can provide a woman these days is fading quickly. Women are able to financially look after themselves, change a light bulb by themselves, mow the lawns, get home loans by themselves, and know when they are being conned by the service department at the car dealership that they need to replace the windscreen wipers now when there really is another eighteen months left before they need to be changed. Women aren't silly anymore. Give yourself more credit. Think about your friend's marriages and look deeper than the surface. Are they truly happy or co-existing for financial and family reasons? Do they still have the romance, the passion and vitality for each other, or are they constantly annoyed with their spouses?

More and more men are struggling to fulfil their financial and family obligations due to their ever expensive 'toys' and 'boys weekends away' that they so dearly deserve (cough cough), putting more stress on the family unit and leaving the mum home with the kids, trafficking them around to Saturday morning sports while the husband is off playing golf with his mates. The family unit is slowly separating under the one roof with women taking their kids off on holidays while the husband stays back to work. Is this the image that single mums pin their dreams on in the hope that one day they will be a 'couple' again?

Admittedly, sexual intimacy is one thing a couple cherish. Lying down in bed, opening up about each other's vulnerabilities, talking about their hopes and dreams and learning about each other's bodies. It's truly what makes 'being together' so magical. But when the bedroom door opens, a new face emerges and the bedroom talk is a distant memory. You hold onto those times and try to let all the other negativity disappear, knowing that sooner than later, you'll have a chance to be intimate again, as that is what feels good within your partnership.

But in the end, happiness can only be found from within... if you are happy, you will attract happiness, and good fortune, and fabulous friends, and a passion for being you. You need to believe in yourself that you are the only person that can make you happy. Once you are there, you will attract people who will look up to you, be inspired by you, and fall in love with you, and then maybe, just maybe, you will find a place in your heart to love another, as they do for you.