Thursday, 29 September 2011

The secrets of the vibrator :)

Many single mums could not live without their trusty vibrator. And many women in enduring relationships are the same. What is it that a power-packed battery-charged mechanic device can do that a humble man can't?

Vibrators are consistent. They are ready, erect, waiting for some attention whenever you feel the need. They can come in various speeds, patterned vibrations, swirl around, change the intensity and they know exactly how you like it because you are in CONTROL!! And if they become slow and sluggish, it's just a question of replacing the batteries. They don't answer their phone midway, they don't cum before you do, they don't get confused about which spot turns you on more and you can put them safely in a drawer without being nagged, expected to swallow or asked to get their cigarettes. Quite simply, they know your body as well as you do, because you've showed it the ways without an ego getting in the way.

It's interesting how these latex vibrating love sticks get used. Most are used in solitude, but some are used to spice up a sex life. Cyber sex brings vibrators into the fore with the visual simulation and stimulation that can be enjoyed by both parties. They can be used orally, vaginally or anally (but not at the same time!) giving different sensations. It's also interesting about how many women actually use their vibrators to 'finish themselves off' after having sex with their partner. What's with that? Is that the male ego getting in the way, or have they not explored each other enough to know how to intensify each other's orgasmic pleasure? Does she wait for him to go to sleep, secretly slip it in and release her pleasure whispering her screams? Or does she walk into the bathroom to find her 'finish me off' friend while bending over the bathroom sink as he has the television blaring watching the Footy Show? Does he lie there and watch wishing that it was him that could get her to that state of total ecstasy and not her dildo?

All single mums would agree that vibrators are what we need to get a sexual release. But they don't replace the intimacy of human touch, the sensual whispers in the ear and the full body experience that 'making love' brings. They aren't warm to the touch, they don't bring the romance, they don't give us back rubs and they can't give us a hug. So, in a sense, we are jealous of those who have a man on tap, lying next to them each time they go to sleep, but then I guess they are jealous of us for having the bed to ourselves and no one nagging us to turn off the light when we're finishing off a riveting chapter.

So we 'hail' the vibrator for giving us pleasure when a man cannot be there or come to the party. Our children thank our vibrators too, because if it weren't for the artificial cocks in this world, they would have an angry, upset, stressed out mum to contend with every day. They would have no idea why we're over-reacting to every event and psychologists would get paid good money to discover that our kids would be blaming themselves for their over-worked, under-played mum's outbursts.

Thank you vibrator, for keeping the peace!







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