The Blackboard

These school holidays, I introduced the 'blackboard!' It's positioned outside my bedroom door on the outer wall, only I'm allowed to write on it and it outlines what we are going to do that day. The point of the blackboard is to let the 'peeps of the house' know what is happening when they wake up in the morning, know what's expected and essentially, when it's all done, they have free time.

We've had everything on it from going to doing homework, gardening, cleaning the house, outings to friend's houses, going for bike rides, to quiet days and rewards if things are done by a certain time. Yesterday, my 9 year old wanted to go go-karting, and we had it on the blackboard that we would, but by the time we had everything done on the blackboard, it was 4pm. I had a look at the website for the go-kart place he wanted to go to, and they closed at 5pm which would have been pointless trying to get there. We had tears and all sorts, so I explained if he didn't fuss about so much, then we would have had time. So today, he understood that getting it done early meant that we could go... which we did. We got there at 12.30pm... a much better improvement to our family productivity! (But then again, New Years Day, you're allowed a sleep in!)

My boys have been a little cheeky and have rubbed off a couple of things before I wake up in the morning, but I've now told them that instead of 4 pages of homework for the day, they will do 6 pages... so they understand now not to mess with me and the blackboard!

I plan to continue the use of the blackboard when school's back, just to get some organisation and understanding with my boys to be on top of things. If it's their homework, sports practice, chores around the house, friend's play dates or even explaining that I need some quiet time because I have too much work to do.

So far, a little over a week into having the 'blackboard' as part of the family, there is still positivity to it. The boys understand that the items on the blackboard are the necessities and happenings of the day. Let's hope it continues :)

First Day of the New Year

As all New Years Day's tend to be, today was a day of new beginnings. A day of hope, a day of enjoying the small things, a day of appreciation for what you have - not what you don't have, a day of aspiring to bring your goals to fruition and a day of setting new standards that you want to continue throughout the year. God knows I need to lose a few kilos, finish my book, help my boys more with their schooling, exercise more and enjoy my surrounds. So as time permits, some of these things are able to happen... but when the working day becomes overwhelming again, reality sets in and some of these things fall away.

But you have to give yourself a start... so today was a day to better our environment to give us something happy, relaxing and appealing to look at. Instead of looking at the crappy old falling apart barbecue that greets us at our front door that we can't do anything about as it's a fixture to the rental apartment, today we decided to pretty it up. We bought pots, potting mix, some garden ornaments, a watering can, some herbs and some cottage colour of some of my favourite flowering colour...

And I was really happy, because I've been looking for a certain style of daisy for years to dress up a garden, the kind of daisy that grows in a dense bunch of white petals and yellow centres that just looks like a mass of cheery happiness, and today I found them! I found a lovely established pot of English lavender, some yellow daisies, red geraniums and a few other brightly coloured flowering beauties to go with my country cottage theme. I dedicated a pot to some strawberries that can grow randomly around the ricketty old barbecue, and we potted a long planter box of chives, parsley, coriander, dill and thyme. I added a candle lit lantern, a distressed looking ceramic bird and an old style watering can that's jazzed up in a Spring Green colour, but still looks right at home.

So hopefully, as things grow, we won't see the leaning legs of the barbecue, breathe in the beautiful scents of the lavender and herbs, and we'll be able to enjoy the herbs in our cooking. I might have to add a few more pots over time, but for now, it's something that brings life to our secluded entrance away from the other apartments. 

It really doesn't take much to make home more homely, giving it a more positive energy for the start of the year. Let's hope it's the making of more positive things to come! :)

Happy New Year!!!

Hey everyone! It's around 1am here in old Melbourne town and my party goers have fallen asleep. So I'd thought I would wish my loyal followers, friends and family a Happy New Year for 2013.

But before I do, I'll give you a little bit of what we did to celebrate the New Year in. We decided not to go to our usual New Year celebrations because I had a bout of tonsillitis since Christmas, and I really don't think the penicillin I'm on and copious amounts of alcohol would do me any good, so we opted to have a quiet one at home instead. We decided earlier in the day that we would have a spread of cold cut meats, salad vegetables, fruit, Brie, Naan bread for the lovely Morroccan style Dukkah my mum bought me for Christmas & rice crackers for the cheese, and top it off with some Lindt balls for dessert. We also had a fine spread of juices to make mocktails for the boys and I discovered 'cocktails in a cask' for me... Cosmopolitans & Midori Splices on tap in the fridge... what a scary proposition to live with that all year round! (doctor said it was OK to have a little bit of alcohol on penicillin!) We made our mocktails, complete with strawberry stuck on the edge and paper umbrellas and indulged in our spread!

We sat and watched 'Real Steel' on DVD, followed by the behind-the-scenes shots, which was pretty amazing and then decided to play Cluedo by candlelight....

oh... and glow stick! It was actually quite fun finding Peacock with the dagger in the bedroom, especially after we convinced the 9 year old that he had to stop guessing so quickly because he kept getting it right!!

We played a little balloon volleyball using the dining table as the net then sat down and watched the fireworks on TV. There was talk about watching another movie after the fireworks finished, but somehow my boys got cosy and fell asleep on top of me. 

This week has been a fabulous week for us enjoying each other's company and just being a family... a team in every possible way. I love my boys and love the joy they bring to me.

I hope you and your family have found the same warmth, love and happiness I have in my little family and that 2013 brings more opportunity to just enjoy the little things, harness the big things, have some amazing adventures, enables you to get out of your comfort zone, and helps you find the real You in 'you.'

A toast to good health, good hearts and great happiness in 2013!

Cheers! xx

Sun, Swimming & Cycling

Yesterday was an unexpected day of exercise. I'd been saying to the boys since Christmas Day that we need to jump on our bikes every day to get some fresh air and work off the Christmas calories, but as I came down with tonsillitis the day after, we've been a little bit home bound.

My 9 year old only wanted to go for a 15 minute ride, as he's not a fan of bike-riding (only because he still struggles to be confident with it). So equipped with our Camelbaks, I suggested we should just go... and go we did!

Instead of going directly to the beach, we took a couple of side streets a bit further up Sandringham before we hit the beach on the Sandringham/Hampton border. As usual, it was my 11 year old up front, then my 9 year old and me tagging behind... just so I can keep an eye on them. It was a beautiful sunny day, and the ride seemed effortless. I had no complaints from the little one as we peddled past our last ride's turning point - Brighton Beach station and worked our way up to the iconic Dendy Beach, passed the Brighton Baths with its adjoining dog beach (and pedestrian madness!), along the Golden Mile (Melbourne's most expensive real estate), towards Elwood.... Passed the Elwood Lifesaving Club, over the Elwood Canal bridge towards Riva and St Kilda Yacht Club till we hit Luna Park! Absolutely NO COMPLAINTS the whole ride. 13 kilometres (8 miles).

I was so proud of them, that I said they could have a ride at Luna Park as a reward. We arrived at the entrance of the 100 year old amusement park to see a line meander outside the gate and around the corner (at least 100 people waiting outside to buy a ticket). The boys made the decision that it wasn't that important to have a ride. So they opted for McDonalds for lunch instead.

They ate their lunch, then we embarked on our trek back home. We jumped on our bikes and, oh no, we had a head wind. (No wonder it was so easy to get so far!) About five minutes into the trek, my 9 year old started complaining... "My legs are sore, I have a stitch, I want to walk" WALK! Who wants to walk 13 kilometres home? Our really really long trip home was a combination of stopping at an ice-cream van...

flaking out on the grass, walking up hills, riding down hills, bribes! (I said that if he gets on his bike and doesn't do any more walking, then there will be no homework today... I've been setting 4 pages of homework for them over the holidays just for them to keep their brains working and give them a head start in the New Year) and pointing out the trip in short steps just to make it seem quicker to get home.

So what I estimated as being about a 45 minute trip there, turned out to be an hour and 45 minute trip home. At least we made it! A 26 kilometre round trip (16 miles).

We came home, and literally walked in the door when a friend called. We had been meaning to catch up over the past week, but circumstances just hasn't allowed it to happen. She was handing her kids to her ex-husband today for a week, so this would be the last time we could catch up for our kids to play. She suggested we go to MSAC (Melbourne Sports & Aquatic Centre... where they had the Melbourne Commonwealth Games). I told her about our trek, and she was happy for my boys to have an hour or two rest, before the next physical exertion.

My nine-year old fell asleep instantly on the couch, while my 11 year old enjoyed some quiet time playing Wii by himself. At about 5pm, my friend picked us up and we drove a little beyond our bike riding trek to Albert Park to MSAC. The boys were excited about being with their friend and getting to go to a different swimming facility. They were so excited, they ended up in the wishing fountain out the front!

It was such a great time to go, as the crowds had gone, and they had full rein of all the facilities. And I mean 'full rein'... hardly a person in sight.

After about an hour and a half in the pools, they were closing and it was time to go grab some dinner and head home.

We dropped the boys home, grabbed some fish n chips, my friend and I had a glass of bubbly at True South, the local Tapas bar while we waited for our fish n chips to be cooked, then headed back to some very wary, and slightly sun burnt kids (as we were only supposed to be gone for 15 minutes remember!)... you can see the t-shirt tan on the 9 year old doing his bomb into the water!).

I'm not sure how the boys are this morning... They have been awake for 15 or so minutes and I haven't heard any complaints of sore muscles... and I'm dreading getting out of bed to feel how my muscles will react (as they were agonisingly sore last night)... but that will be another blog tomorrow... as the New Year comes in!

When Quantity Doesn't Provide Quality

One thing my lover used to say to me, as he was on the other side of the world and I was stuck in Australia, was 'take advantage of all the daily advances from potential suitors.' I used to say 'what suitors?' 'what advances?' I knew there were a couple of guys interested in me, but I had no inkling for them, and I never had anyone make an advance on me who would qualify for my extensive list of desirable qualities.

Do us single mothers have blinkers on with all the potential suitors out there? Or are we just super fussy because any man that comes into our lives must be potential step-father material for our children? I really don't know... but after having five different guys occupy my time via text messages, Facebook chatting, Skype chatting and neighbourly chatting over the past week (mind you, two of them are married, supposedly happily, and two are in relationships), each one of them show a different level of caring for me when I only enjoy their friendship and nothing else. I know most would love to jump into bed with me, but I just can't bring myself to do it. And I know there are possibly a couple more male friends of mine who would love to take me to the next level with our friendship, but they don't offer me what I want. It's interesting though, they are eager to chat with me regularly, but there are no flowers sent to me on my birthday, or knocks on the door with some chicken soup when I tell them that I'm sick. It just shows how superficial their interest is in me...

Is there a strange correlation to the men that I attract? Out of the seven men that I can think of who have either spoken to me in the past week or have shown interest in me over the past year or more, there are many who remind me of my ex-husband - struggling to be successful in their career, feeling like they deserve more in life, or putting the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable and disheartened with why the world isn't doing right by them. It's like they want me to rescue them from their own stupidity. Don't get me wrong, they are nice enough guys in their own way, but there are some who are in their early 40s and living in a share house, one who complains about his wife not giving him sex (oh, so because I was involved with a married man ONCE, it gives them the right to think that I will do it again, or with ANY married man!) and one who thinks he's God's gift to women as he has an enormous cock (which I heard about from his flatmate) and wants to put it inside anything that's female (again, something his flatmate told me about).... but for some reason, he thinks I'm a great catch because I am the ultimate mother to my kids, so he'd love me to be a 'mother' to him!! Or maybe because I'm resisting him that I'm a challenge to his normal sexual reality.

And I guess that's what it's all about... men just want another 'mother' to look after them. And I don't want that... I want someone who WANTS to look after me... in all aspects in life. Not necessarily financially, but at least be able to look after themselves financially and not bludge off me. I think it becomes so much harder to find someone when you have kids, because you aren't just looking for you, you are looking for someone to be right for your kids. My 9 year old is constantly wondering out loud 'I wonder who my step-father would be?' And I just say to him back 'Yes, I would like to know who he would be too!' He desperately wants someone to be inspired by, look up to and proud to call 'Dad' but there really isn't anyone who meets the mark.... yet.

I truly believe 'time' will give us the man we want in our lives... a man who is perfect in every way for me, and a man who my boys can look up to as a step-father. I'm in no rush, I have things for myself and my boys to do before someone can complicate our lives with their needs and time. One day, 'quality' will come from all the 'quantity' and we will find someone to love.

So Much for Some Time Off!

Well... it all depends on your version of 'time off.' For me, 'time off' means time to meet up with friends and family when you're too busy working, driving the kid's taxi and keeping up with paying the bills... like what you do for most the year. 'Time off' gives you freedom to go for a long drive, sit on the beach all day, enjoy a casual walk admiring the streets, do some high-adrenalin activities, and of course, catching up with friends, enjoying a glass of bubbly and forgetting about your woes... And I was so looking forward to having some 'time out' time off this week after all the hoop-lah of the Christmas festivities were over but....

I've come down with a bout of acute tonsillitis that is aching my whole body, making me struggle to talk with the balloon in my throat, and even the simplest activity of stacking the dishwasher makes me feel like I breaking out in a feverish sweat. I'm no fun for anyone. Luckily, my boys have PLENTY of new Christmas presents to keep them occupied. And they are being so sympathetic to my needs. They gave me a back massage last night, helped cut up the salad vegetables last night for their dinner and have stopped all the unnecessary bickering between them. (Maybe I should be sick more often!)

So, instead of doing all the things I wanted to do... catching up with friends, afternoons on the beach, bike rides along the beach paths, etc... I'm looking at where I can plan my next holiday, when I really should be finishing my book. There's a 22 bedroom, 14 bathroom gite in France for $AU360 a night! Anyone want to join me?

Merry Christmas

After seeing and talking to friends and family about their Christmas's this year, there is an overall theme going on... peace between everyone. After the shooting 10 days ago, and many other atrocities, how small they are since, many count their blessings even more so this year to have their loved ones around them.

It's the little things that matter...

My neighbours had their family over on Christmas Eve for their family tradition, and even though there is one family member who no one has talked to in over a year, they decided to make a 'replica' of him with a football head, blown up rubber glove hands, t-shirt and shorts, wrapping paper tube legs and some thongs (flip flops) for feet and put him on an outdoor seat, just to have the sense that he was there. They even gave him a beer to enjoy. They even included him in part of the conversation, asking him what he thought of things... which was hilarious, but sweet at the same time.

A friend of mine lost her mum before Christmas. Her ex-husband has always had her kids at his house Christmas morning due to his European style Christmas Eve being a drunken long night of family occasion. but this year, her husband said 'he' would drive her kids back to her place at midnight (it's a 25 kilometre/15.5 mile drive) so she could have her kids on Christmas morning. She felt so lucky to have them with her to wake up to when she has been so fragile over the past few weeks. She then had Christmas lunch at her sister's place and opened a bottle of Mumm champagne to toast her mum for Christmas, then has felt lucky to have her kids and her nephew around at her place Christmas evening.

There was no bickering at my family Christmas... which is a little bit of a first. No telling kids off, or unappreciated presents, no kids crying because one hurt the other. No heavy food, as we all have to bring a course, and usually someone over does it forgetting who they are catering for. We ate as it came out, casually and very relaxed. Mum announced that she would like to take us away as a family for a weekend to a sleepy coastal town as the entire family (17 people) as a gift from my Grandad's Estate to all of us, which is nice and appreciated.

My Facebook friends all seem to have had lovely days... plenty of wine drunk, getting together with cousins in out of the way places, lots of laughter and banter. Even plenty of family group shots posted. Maybe I'm noticing for the first time, but I don't think it's been so obvious before that people are happy to have the family group shot posted on Facebook.

The theme behind the peace is love and acceptance... I sincerely hope, if you are still enjoying your Christmas Day with your family and friends, that you too are feeling a warm happiness of love and acceptance. Merry Christmas to all my loyal readers and friends. Let's hope the Mayans are right, and post December 21, 2012 is the time of a new era in this world where everyone finds peace and happiness.